FFS Friday - Towelling

Hello beautiful people. How are you all today? It's Friday!

What do I want to complain about today? Hmmm, let me think.  

I'm not coming up with anything. Not sure how that's possible as it's been a rough week so there should be plenty of things to complain about.

 

Ok. I've got something. What's with them trying to kill the asthmatics every year? It's become an annual tradition.

 

Each year in our area, Parks and Wildlife wait until the weather has cooled down then do mass burning off to prevent bushfires. Great idea. 

What's not great is that they do it all at the same time, which means that we have weeks where the south west is covered in smoke. Not just a little bit of smoke, it's so bad that some days they have to close roads because visibility is down to 5 meters. 

 

Surely there must be a better way? Couldn't they space it out over a few months? Why do it all in one hit? I've barely left the house this week due to the smoke. I can't hang my washing out or else it'll stink like smoke and even though I've been inside as much as possible my asthma is really bad. 

 

Considering my asthma is quite mild, I hate to imagine how bad it must be for people who have severe asthma. They must be really struggling, in hospital or dead. 

 

Maybe it's a subtle way off killing off the weak. I suppose that could be an effective form of population control. Surely if that's their aim there'd be an easier way. 

 

Do you ever stop to think about what you life is like? As in really think about it? Last weekend Tiger was in a bad mood (not unusual). We were at the beach and he did a live post on Facebook. One of his friends saw it and called to see if everything was okay at home. 

When Tiger told me this I laughed and said "Things are never okay at home."

 

It's not something I think about very often but it's true. Things are never okay in our house. 

Between Tigers bad moods and Chai's behaviour there's rarely a peaceful moment. The only time things are okay is when Eljay and I are home alone. Sad but true.

 

I could sit around analysing things but that seems pointless. Things aren't okay at the moment and that's just the way it is. One day they will be okay. Today is not that day.

 

That's it for my weekly whinge. If you're really bored, next week I might talk about towel etiquette. It's a thing. 

 

Thoughts of the week

1. Lest we forget.

 

2. WTF is with the USA police constantly killing people?

 

3. Mecca Beauty Loop boxes are out now. Has anyone noticed the quality seems to be going down? They used to be really good but lately they've been pretty meh.

 

4. I live in WA where Perth and Peel are in a three day lock down. The bit I don't understand is that they announced the lock down at 2.30pm and let people leave those areas up until midnight. Being a long weekend, a large number of them travelled south (where I live). Surely if there's a need for lock down either the south should be locked down too or people should be prevented from leaving Perth and Peel. Doesn't seem logical that they were allowed to travel down here. Granted, they're supposed to wear masks whilst here, but how many actually will?

 

5. How good is coffee!

FFS Friday - Confuddled

I'm sitting here here looking at yet another form I have to fill out in an attempt to get the services that Chai needs. 

Gone are the days when I can just call someone to make an appointment, now I have to fill out a pile of paperwork and send it all sorts of reports just to be considered, then I either a rejection letter or told that we're on a waiting list. 

 

Todays form is 7 pages long. I need a speech pathologist. Most of the questions aren't relevant to Chai, however if I don't fill them in I won't get to talk to anyone. Once I've returned the form they'll call me to discuss what services they can offer. 

 

Surely they can just tell me now and save me wasting my time filling out forms. That would be so much easier. 

 

To make things even more fun, the forms are always in PDF form and un-editable, so I have to print them out,  fill them in, scan and then email them. FFS.

The form I'm currently filling in is for telehealth services yet they want to know who's authorised to pick up my child. Not relevant. The rest of the questions are about his physical abilities, also not relevant. Interestingly they don't ask about his medical history and diagnosed conditions (which would be very relevant). 

Such a waste of time. 

Does anyone else feel like they just don't fit into this world? Try as I might I just don't understand most people. 

Usually I can forget that I don't fit in, but every now and again something reminds me. This week it was a facebook post. It was a picture of a little boy walking through a shop wearing pj's, gumboots, a beanie and carrying a sword. He looked awesome. 

The caption said "Be kind, someone has just lost a battle with a toddler". The caption went on to say that clearly the parent had lost the battle to get the child to wear clothes which is why they were wearing pj's. Since when are pj's not clothes?

WTF? Does this make sense to anyone?

Why would they think that parent has lost a battle? Why would they mind their child wearing pj's in public?

Then I thought about it and realised that out of all the parents I know I'm the only one who lets my kids wear whatever they want, so clearly it's me who doesn't make sense.

I just don't understand what it matters if a child chooses to wear an awesome outfit in public? So what if that awesome outfit is pj's? Why shouldn't a child wear what they want to wear?

My kids only stopped wearing pj's out last year. That was their choice. I don't choose their outfits, they wear what they want to. 

When we're leaving the house I'll ask them to make sure they have weather appropriate clothes but that's it. 

I'm not sure what I'm missing here. 

Having said that, most times we went out someone would comment on them wearing pj's and say they wished they could wear pj's all day.

That's another thing I don't understand. They could wear pj's all day, they just choose not to. 

It's like when people say they can't sing. We can all sing, we just might not sing well, but we can still sing. Maybe I take things too literally. 

The world is so confusing.

 

 

 

 

The good old days

Remember when blogs were popular, Instagram wasn't just a selling platform and people wrote about products because they liked them?

 

I miss those times. I look at my Instagram feed now and it's all people trying to sell me things. I just want to look at pretty pictures, read about the products that people are loving and chat with other beauty lovers. 

 

Now I don't know what's an ad and what isn't, the reviews aren't genuine and it's like one big ad. It's taken all the fun out of blogs and Instagram. 

 

I've lost my enthusiasm for Instagram lately, it feels like too much effort. It's like being back at high school when everything was a popularity contest. 

 

I'm trying to fill my Instagram feed with pretty pictures and posts from genuine people. If you have any suggestions please let me know.

Thoughts of the week

1. I wonder why more men aren't speaking out about victim blaming. Maybe because it doesn't affect them? When you think about it, victim blaming is saying that men can't control themselves, therefore it's up to women to not tempt men.

I'd be pretty angry if society thought I was incapable of controlling myself. Men should be angry about that too.

 

2. School's back tomorrow, but Chai has a cold so I don't think he'll be going. He's not at all happy about missing his first day.

 

3. I never thought I'd say that Chai was upset about not going to school. How times change.

 

4. The weather is starting to cool down and I'm loving it. We're having gorgeous sunny days with cold mornings and night. Autumn is such a beautiful season.

 

5. Mecca Max have relaunched their Pout Pop listicks and there's a new sheer formula that I'm very tempted by.

 

FFS Friday - Pump it up

Hello Friday you beautiful thing.
I'm happy today. My Mum and Step Dad are coming down, Tiger has the weekend off and school's back next week. 

 

These school holidays have been rough. I'm really disappointed with how I've handled them. I wanted to do lots of fun things with the boys but that didn't happen. 

 

I'm really struggling with Chai at the moment. He's stimming constantly and I am not dealing with it at all. His stims are verbal so he's constantly making noises and I really, really struggle with them.

 

He's also been very rude and nasty. In an effort to stop that behaviour I've put strict rules in place about screen time and he's not liking it at all. Screen time is the only thing that gets a reaction from him. I can take away everything and he won't care, but take away his screen time and he hates it. 

 

I really don't want to be the type of parent who punishes and takes things away, but he has to learn that there are consequences for bad behaviour. Letting him get away with being awful isn't fair to him, it won't set him up for adulthood. Plus, I refuse to be abused and I refuse to watch him be awful to Eljay. It's just not okay. 

I wouldn't accept bad behaviour from a stranger so why should I accept it from my son? I won't.

 

The constant stimming is so difficult to deal with. I know it's something that he can't help so I don't say anything, but there have been many times this week when I've felt like I was going to lose my mind. Added to that he's also been waking us up at 4.50am, then spending the whole day complaining that he's tired. FFS.

 

Ah well. First world problems. Thankfully I have a coffee machine and music to get me through. 

Next holidays I'll plan what we're going to do each day instead of winging it. That'll be a lot better. 

 

In other exciting news, yesterday I pumped up three fit balls. It was not fun. That's around two hours of my life I'll never get back.

 

I bought two fit ball covers from Kmart. They're really soft and were only $5 so I thought they'd be great for the boys fit balls. The packet said they fit 65cm balls, which is what we have. 

 

Now, you'd think that the zip would be big enough to fit the ball wouldn't you? You'd be wrong. In order to use the cover you have to inflate the fit ball inside the cover. FFS.

 

I deflated both balls, pumped up Eljays then discovered that the cover wasn't tight. Not even close to being tight. It might be tight on a 85 cm ball but it's extremely loose on the 65cm balls. Elay decided he didn't like the cover being loose, so we had to deflate his ball to get it out again. 

 

Next up was Chais ball. He was sure his ball was bigger however once I'd pumped it up we discovered his ball was also 65cms so the cover was loose. Thankfully that didn't worry him. 

 

Then I had to re-inflate Eljays ball. Fun times. 

 

At least it gave me a good arm workout.  

Have a wonderful weekend beautiful people. 

 

 

Bobbi Brown

 

Who else loves Bobbi Brown products? I've used and loved them for around twenty years now. The great thing about Bobbi's products is that they are consistently good. The quality doesn't change, the formulas don't change, they're just brilliant all the time. 

 

My first Bobbi Brown product was the Corrector. It was the first concealer that didn't crease on me. Ever. It's still one of the few concealers that don't make me look 90. 

 

Next up I tried the gel eyeliner. I bought the eye liner brush too and it's still going strong twenty years later. 

The gel eyeliner is brilliant, it stays put through almost everything. It's the only gel eyeliner I use.

 

The eye shadow sticks are a firm favourite. Like the Corrector, they stay put and don't crease.

 

I like the powder eyeshadows but don't use them very often as I find the shadow sticks are quicker. If I had more time in the mornings I'd use the powder shadows as they are great quality. 

 

If you haven't tried the Crushed lip range, you're really missing out. 

 

The Crushed Lip Colour is a lipstick that has a very unique texture. It feels like a weightless, super hydrating balm, whilst giving opaque colour. One layer gives a light, barely there colour, two layers gives long lasting, bold colour.  The formula is quite similar to the MAC Powder Kiss formula, so if you like that then you'll loved the Crushed Lip Colour.

 

I don't normally like liquid lipsticks but the Crushed Liquid Lip is really nice. It's long lasting, hydrating and very comfortable. It doesn't dry down so will leave marks on your cup, but the colour lasts around six hours before fading and leaving a nice tint behind.

 

Crushed Oil Infused Gloss is easily my favourite of the lot. It feels like I'm wearing a lip balm but looks like I have lipstick with gloss over the top. The colours are opaque and so pretty.

 

Bobbi Brown have also recently released the Crushed Shine Jelly Sticks that I really want to try.

 

Bobbi Brown products are such great, reliable products, the go to when you're after a natural, polished look.

 

 What's your favourite Bobbi Brown product?

 

Thoughts of the week

1. This week I was reading an article about Sam Stosur coming out. It really shits me that coming out is still such a big deal. It shouldn't be. Who someone loves is of no consequence to anyone else and they shouldn't be judged for who they love.

 

2. Having said that, I've also been horrified to hear from the boys that gay is still used as an insult. I'd thought we'd moved past that but clearly we haven't. I've told my boys that we can't control who we love and being gay is totally fine.

 

3. Eljay lost his third tooth on Thursday and now he has a gap. It's the first time we've had a tooth gap with either boy. Previously their new teeth were fully grown before the baby one fell out. 

He looks so cute with his gappy smile.

 

4. Chai has been a monster these school holidays. I have no idea why but it hasn't been fun.

 

5. Vale Prince Philip.

F@#cking Furious Saturday

I'm still furious. Fucking furious actually.

 

Today I'm furious about victim blaming. 

Have you ever noticed that it's only women who are subjected to victim blaming? 

 

If a man goes out, gets drunk and gets assaulted, it's not his fault. 

If a women goes out, gets drunk and gets assaulted, she should have known better than to go out and get drunk. What was she thinking? Why didn't she keep herself safe? Clearly it was her fault that she was assaulted.

 

If she's walking along the street and someone assaults her, she shouldn't have worn such revealing clothes. If she asks a guy to her house for a drink, what did she expect, she should have known better than to invite a guy into her home. 

 

Thanks to this conditioning, we women also believe that we're at fault if we get assaulted. We blame ourselves. We shouldn't have flirted, we should have known better, we should have stopped them, we shouldn't have worn that outfit. WRONG! 

 

Clothing does not equal consent. Walking along the street does not equal consent. Getting drunk does not equal consent. Asking someone for a drink does not equal consent. Nothing, not one thing that a woman does, implies that she consents to being assaulted.  

No-one has the right to touch your body if you don't want them to. 

Think of it like this. If I punch you, is it your fault I punched you or my fault for not controlling myself? Assault is the same. They are to blame for not controlling themselves.

 

It's not our fault. We did nothing wrong. The fault lies entirely with the perpetrator, however we've been so well conditioned that we think it's our fault. We feel embarrassed and ashamed because we let the abuse happen. WTF! Why should be feel shame for something that was forced upon us! Assault is not something we choose. 

Imagine I like punching people. I know it's wrong but I really enjoy it, it's one of my favourite things to do. Often I can find people who don't mind me punching them and that's great. Sometimes I can't find anyone who wants to be punched, so I just punch anyone that I can. 

I know punching is illegal so I wait until I'm alone with the person before I punch them, then I can deny punching them. 

If I get caught I'll use any excuse I can to get away with it such as:

• I thought they wanted to be punched because they were wearing workout gear, which clearly shows that they like being punched.
• They were wearing a t-shirt with a boxing glove on it,  so obviously they're a fan of punching, therefore I thought it'd be okay.
• They came to my house knowing that I punch people so they should have expected to be punched. If they didn't want to be punched why did they come to my house. Clearly they were asking to be punched.  

See how ridiculous it is? Victim blaming is exactly the same. 

Why is there such a focus on the victim? The person who did nothing wrong!

The focus needs to be on the perpetrator (here-on referred to as F&*king Waste Of Space). 

They are the one who did the wrong thing. They know that what they're doing is wrong. They know that women should be able to do whatever the f@#k they want without being assaulted by a fwos. Everyone knows this. We know it, the media knows it, society as a whole knows it. Despite us all knowing that it's the fwos who did the wrong thing, we continue to focus on the victim. That needs to change and it needs to change now.

 

Focus on the man who chose not to control himself and then, instead of taking responsibility for his actions tries to blame the victim. If that's not a classic example of weak and pathetic then I don't know what is.

 

In the end that's what it comes down to. A weak person exerts control by forcing themselves onto someone else. That's not control, that's pathetic. A f@#king pathetic waste of space. 

 

So, beautiful girl. It wasn't your fault. You are not to blame. Nothing, not one single thing you did lead to you being assaulted. It's all on him. 

 

Don't buy into the victim blaming bull shit. He's the only one to blame. It was and always will be his fault. Remember that.  

Stand tall, stand proud. You are strong, you are brave and you will get through this.

 

FFS Friday - Strawberry kisses

Hello Friday you beautiful thing. I'm so happy to see you. 

How have we all been? Had a good week? 

I hope all you parents are coping with the school holidays.

 

Our week has been okay. Nothing exciting. Chai's behaviour is difficult as usual. I'm exhausted as usual. Nothing much has changed. 

 

One day I won't be exhausted. I look forward to that day. Until then I'll put on a brave face and pretend to the world that everything is okay. I'll pretend that my ten year old has not just said f@$k this as he walked past me.

I could be honest but people really can't cope with it. They don't know how to respond when you say you're having a rough time.

 

Anyhow, moving on.

 

Today I'm going to complain about kissing. Specifically cheek kissing when greeting someone. I just don't understand it. The logistics are all wrong and it just doesn't work.

 

I gave up cheek kissing years ago when I figured out it was just awkward and uncomfortable. 

 

Here's why I find it so strange. You can't both kiss each other on the cheek at the same time, it just doesn't work. If they kiss you first then you're trying to kiss their cheek whilst they're hugging you, which doesn't work because you have no room to move your head by the time they're hugging you.    

 

So, if you're the kissee then do you just accept that and hug them? Or are you being rude by not kissing them too? I just don't get it.

 

Are there rules about this? Are you both supposed to try kissing each other or do you just accept that one person is the kisser and one is the kissee? 

 

Air kisses are a no no and kind of pointless, or maybe the kissee does the air kiss so that they look like they've put in an effort to kiss and just missed?

 

It's all so complicated. 

 

I thought that covid might have got us out of this dilemma, but it hasn't, cheek kissing is still a thing. 

 

 First world problems.

 

Have a beautiful weekend you wonderful people. 

F@#king Furious Sunday

Today's regular post has been bumped for a new post, Fucking Furious Sunday.

(Sorry Mrs B, there is going to be swearing in this post).

 

So, what am I furious about? I'm glad you asked.

 

Yesterday one of my friends had something awful happen. One of those horrible, terrifying and life changing events that you never forget. Those times when your whole world stops and you don't know how you're going to continue.

 

In those times you trust that the appropriate authorities will be there to help. 

Now we get to why I'm furious. 

When my friend reached out for help, guess what happened? 

Nothing.

Why? 

Because she's female. 

Instead of being given the appropriate help she was told that there was nothing wrong and she didn't know what she was talking about. 

Thankfully help arrived.

Do you know why help arrived?

Because she sent her father and brother to get help. 

Of course, when they asked for help they were believed and the appropriate assistance was given.

 

WTF is wrong with this world that women are not believed? Fuck the patriarchy that's created this world for us. 

 

I'm done with living in a world where women are second class citizens, where we aren't believed when we speak up. Where we're labelled as hysterical if we get angry. Where we get charged more for almost everything because we're female. Where we get paid less and overlooked for promotion because we're female. Where we're at fault if a man attacks us.

 

It's been like this my whole life and I'm over it. This mistreatment of women has to stop. 

 

To all you women who are upholding the patriarchy and don't believe your fellow women, I'm sorry you don't feel like you are able to stand up for yourself and other women. I'm sorry that you have so little faith in yourself that you believe the bullshit we're fed by men and the patriarchy.

 

To all those women who think it's their fault that they were mistreated, honey you are so very wrong. You are not to blame. You did nothing wrong. The only one who has any blame is the fucking piece of scum who did you wrong. It's all on them. 

 

Believe this. You are strong, you are worthy and you can stand up for yourself.  

Get angry, get furious, fight back and don't accept anything less. 

 

Take up space. Hold that space proudly. 

Stop apologising. Stop getting out of the way when a man is walking towards you. Stand tall, stand proud and know that you have every right to be angry. 

Learn to fight. I know a lot of women who can fight better than most men. Learning to fight is very empowering and hitting people is a lot of fun. Give it a go one day. 

 

Reclaim your power. 

To all of you who are hurting, know this. You are worthy, you are loved. You did nothing wrong, it wasn't your fault. We are furious that you have to go through this. We are holding you in our arms as you heal and we will look on proudly as you reclaim your strength.

 

We can't wait to hear you roar beautiful girl.

 

Thoughts of the week

1.  Happy Easter!

We're doing an easter egg hunt for the boys tomorrow, it's going to be so much fun.

 

2. I wish we got to do things like that as a kid, but at least I can enjoy creating the memories for the boys.

 

3. WTF Gwyneth Paltrow! Telling people to apply sunscreen sparingly over the face like a highlighter is stupid, irresponsible and potentially life threatening. Idiot.

 

4. Mecca are selling scented matches. You get a 20 gram pack of matches for $27.

If they're normal size matches that'd give you about 20 matches.
I thought it must be an April Fools joke but it's not.

 

5. RIP Carla Zampatti.

FFS Friday - Ignore ignore ignore

Hello Friday, hello long weekend and hello school holidays! We made it! Also, how is it April already?

 

I have a sick boy at home. Why is it that when they get sick it's always in the middle of the night? Poor Eljay woke up at midnight on Tuesday with croup. The croup has now turned into a nasty cold. Poor baby.

 

It's been two months now since we got Chai's diagnosis. Tiger still hasn't read the report. 

 

It's funny how differently we deal with things. Tiger pokes his head in the sand and tries to ignore it. I need to know as much as possible so spend all my time researching and looking for solutions. 

 

I don't think this is something can be ignored. It's not going to go away and it affects our life in a huge way, so to me educating myself about it is the best thing to do. 

 

I've given up asking Tiger if he's read the report. He has read part of it but not the whole lot. I suppose he'll get on board when he's ready, meanwhile it's up to me to do everything. 

 

The trouble with sticking his head in the sand is that Tiger still isn't dealing with Chai appropriately. There are certain things Chai does that are not easy to cope with, but they are things he can't control or change. Knowing this makes them easier to deal with. Since Tiger hasn't bothered to educate himself, he's still trying to stop Chai stimming and doing other things which to help calm him. 

 

To me this is also about accepting our son the way he is instead of trying to make him be something he's not. ASD or not, he's still our gorgeous little boy and we are so lucky to be his parents. 

 

But enough complaining. I just had a choc chip hot cross bun, pan fried in butter and it was amazing. 

I'm also going to try making french toast with hot cross buns. I saw them doing it at the shopping centre last week and it looked so yummy.

 

I hope you all have a wonderful long weekend.