Monday, 30 December 2019

New Years Resolutions

Who's made some new years resolutions? I tend to think they're a funny idea cause if I want to change something I start straight away instead of waiting for a specific day/time.

Having said that, here are a few things I'm planning on doing this year:

Take more photos
I'm not really a photo taker. I made an effort when the boys were younger but I've got out of the habit and haven't been taking many photos lately. 
I am going to take more photos as they're beautiful memories that my family can look back on for years into the future. 

Reduce screen time
I am very conscious of how much time we spend in front of a screen. The last few months we've had way too much screen time due to my ankle injury. That's all going to change once I'm better, we'll be back to having very limited screen time.

Spend more time with friends and family
Being an introvert it's very easy for me to stay at home and not see anyone, which is really silly because I love spending time with my friends and family. I also love seeing the boys have strong relationships with their family and friends. 
I've been quite slack lately but that is going to stop and I'm going to make sure I reach out to people more. 

Practise gratitude
Being grateful can be life changing and it's something that I want the boys to understand. We have a very privileged life in Australia and it's not something that I want the boys to take for granted.  

Sunday, 29 December 2019

Thoughts of the week

1. 2019 is nearly over. What a year it's been. I've decided that for 2020 I'm going to keep a record of things that have happened so that at the end of the year I can look back and reflect on the year.

2. Shelby is sitting under my desk asleep on my sore ankle. She's keeping my foot warm.I don't want to wake her but my ankle is starting to hurt.

3. Who went shopping during the boxing day sales? I made one purchase, some lipsticks from Luk Beautifood. The sale is still on if you're interested.

4. I feel like the last few months have been crazy with all the pressure to spend. First there was Black Friday then Cyber Monday then the pre and post Christmas sales. It makes me not want to spend anything because I'm being bombarded.

5. With the new year a few days away I hope you all have a wonderful end to this year and a glorious start to the new year. 
Thanks to each and every one of you who reads my blog, it really means a lot.

Friday, 27 December 2019

FFS Friday - Clear

Hi beautiful people. How was Christmas? I hope you all had a good day. We had a lovely, quiet day with a few of our family. Just how I like it.

I'm off for an MRI on my ankle tomorrow. This time next week I should know what's wrong and why I'm not healing. Finally. It'll be a relief to have some answers. It's been nearly 11 weeks since I injured it.

I don't have a lot to complain about today. It's been a good, busy week.

Chai is back on his medication. He went off it for a few days then he asked to go back onto it because he doesn't like feeling angry all the time. Medication is something that he has a big say on. He didn't start the medication until we'd discussed it (a lot) and he decided that he wanted to give it a go. I know that he's only eight, but he is a person in his own right and I believe that he should have control over his body and what happens to it. 

The medication does help. He's not as angry and less restless. I was worried that it would dull his beautiful personality but it doesn't, it just helps him feel better. 

His anxiety is still off the charts so in the new year we'll start therapy to try to fix that. I'm also going to teach him to meditate. Now that's he's calmer he's also going to start learning martial arts. I've wanted him to learn for ages but refused to take him until he had better control of his temper. 

We're going to continue homeschooling this year. I have though about putting the boys into school but at this stage it's just not the right thing for us. Both Chai and I are still not over the trauma that we dealt with whilst he was at school and neither of us are willing to go there again. 

We've been seeing a lot of one of my cousins lately and it's been lovely. 

I hope you've all had a great festive season.

Tuesday, 24 December 2019

Kosas


Who's tried Kosas products? I hadn't until a few months ago when they became available at Mecca.

It's a shame Mecca don't carry the full range because some of the products look beautiful. 

The first product I purchased was their Weightless Lip Colour. Funnily enough it isn't weightless. I can feel it on my lips and I'm totally okay with that. Once applied I feel like I'm wearing lip balm, it's hydrating and comfortable. The colour is semi sheer, not totally sheer and very buildable. I usually apply two layers so that I have a light but noticeable wash of colour. I'd love to add a few more colours to my collection as it's one of my favourite lipsticks.

I didn't fare so well with the 10-Second Liquid Eyeshadow. Firstly, almost all of the colours are warm toned. Even the purple, which looks cool toned in the bottle, pulls reddish. 
Whilst I really wanted to love this I just couldn't get it to work. I watched the application video and it still didn't work. On me this is a sheer, watery mess and migrates into my crease so that I have no colour on my eye lid and a purple line in my crease. I sent mine back to Mecca.

The last Kosas product I have is their Kosassport LipFuel Hyaluronic Lip Balm. I purchased the shade Rush and it was love at first application so I immediately purchased the clear balm as well. 
If you love creamy, super hydrating balms that glide on easily and last for at least four hours then this is the balm for you. It's heaven in a tube. 

I'm hoping to my Kosas collection in the near future so will update with any further purchases. 
If you've tried Kosas, what products do you recommend? Any I should stay away from?

Sunday, 22 December 2019

Thoughts of the week

1. All the bush fires got me thinking. Who has a go bag ready for if they need to evacuate?
I have a bag with all our important documents and the hard drive containing our photos. In an emergency I can grab the bag and go. 
The way I see it is that clothing and most other possessions can be replaced but not having ID would make life very difficult.

2. I saw the specialist on Wednesday who said that I'm headed for surgery. I'm having an MRI next week then I'll see the specialist in the middle of January and unless there's some sort of miracle I'll be booked in for surgery. Great.

3. Who's ready for Christmas? We have a few last minute things to do but most things are ready. I'm so very glad that we have a low key Christmas.

4. Is this heatwave freaking anyone else out? The whole of Australia is burning up (literally and figuratively). It's so scary.

5. I can't think of anything else.

Friday, 20 December 2019

FFS Friday - Pizza

Hi beautiful people. 
I have a funny story I forgot to tell, I've been too busy whinging about things.

So. A few weeks ago, whilst Tiger was away (of course), I was laying in bed trying to get to sleep and I could hear a loud banging noise. It sounded like it was coming from our roof or backyard.

I checked the back yard, nothing suspicious. 
I checked the front yard, nothing.
The sensor lights weren't on and all was quiet in the street.

I got back in to bed and a few minutes later I heard the noises again. I tried to ignore them and go to sleep but it was rather difficult because the banging was very loud. At 11.30pm I got up again and looked out the front window.
Other than the lady walking past after getting her drugs, all was quiet. There was no-one else outside and no lights on in any of the neighbours houses.

I got back in to bed and managed to go to sleep, however I was woken up several times during the night by the noises.

The next morning I asked my neighbour if she'd heard anything but she hadn't. It was a mystery. 

Later that day I was in the bedroom putting washing away when I heard the noise again so went outside to investigate.

Guess what I found?

You'll never guess.

Give it a go.

So. 

I found......the round cardboard insert from a store bought pizza.

The boys had thrown it on the roof where it got stuck in the gutter. Every time the wind blew the cardboard knocked against the gutter, making a very loud noise. FFS.

I managed to get it down with my crutch and threw it in the bin.

The next week I was in the bedroom during the day and heard the noise again!
My little monkeys had got the pizza insert out of the bin and thrown it on the roof again. This time Tiger was home so he got it down, tore it in half and threw it in the bin where it stayed!

Who knew a piece of cardboard could make such a loud noise?

Have a beautiful weekend.

Wednesday, 18 December 2019

Face Halo vs Tribe Skincare Makeup Removal Mitt


Like a lot of people I'm trying to be more environmentally friendly. One thing I've done is stopped buying make-up rounds (is that what they're called) and started using re-usable cloths/pads instead. 

Face Halo gets a lot of hype. I resisted buying one for ages but gave in when they were on sale. 
One Face Halo costs $13 or you can buy three for $30.
Whilst it's okay, it's nothing amazing, just your regular make-up wipe. I find it to be a little too small to use easily, I prefer a larger wipe or cloth as they're just easier to use. The small size means that I can only use it once before it needs to be washed, so I'd need several if I wanted to use them daily.

Tribe Skincare Makeup Removal Mitts are $9 each. 
They're bigger than Face Halo so easier to use. They're also softer. 
Due to the large size I can use it for two days so I can get away with owning three of them. Tribe say that you only need to wash them once a week, but I can't stand wiping a dirty looking mitt over my face, it makes me feel like I'm rubbing dirt into my face. 


Overall I much prefer the Tribe mitt. I love mine so much that I purchased the pack of three for $25.

Monday, 16 December 2019

October and November empties

Now that we're halfway through December I thought it was time I posted my October and November empties.
That's a lie. It's just taken me this long to get to posting. Hah. I just haven't been motivated lately.


Versace Versense perfume
This is such a beautiful fragrance. It's a soft, green scent that I loved to wear in summer. It doesn't appear to be available any more which is a shame. If it was I would have repurchased.

Priceline Everyday Suncreen Lotion
I was very surprised at how much I enjoyed using this sunscreen. It's light, non greasy and SPF50+. I used it on my body, not sure what it'd be like on the face.
I'll repurchase next time I see it on sale.

The Body Shop Cactus Blossom shower gel
I really love The Body Shop shower gels and always have one on the go. I didn't love the cactus blossom scent but it was a nice change. The scent was fresh but sharp at the same time. It would have been better as a summer scent. 

Antipodes Hallelujah Lime and Patchouli cleanser
I really don't know why there aren't more Antipodes products in my collection. Everything I've tried from them is lovely and this cleanser is no exception. I purchased it on sale when I'd run out of cleanser. You can't really go wrong with a cream cleanser, they are quite difficult to get wrong. I thoroughly enjoyed using this and will repurchase it next time it's on sale. 

BX Earth Good On You Love shower gel
Regular readers will know full well how much we love BX Earth shower gels. The boys use these, they're a great, cheap shower gel. 

Kopari Coconut Oil deodorant
If I had to pick my top five natural deodorants, Kopari would be one of them. I love that it's in stick form, it controls odour and is gym proof.
I can use it immediately after shaving, it doesn't irritate my sensitive pits and doesn't contain bicarb soda. 

Avene Extremely Gentle Cleanser
This year I've really come to love Avene and La Roche-Posay products. They're so gentle and soothing on the skin. I would happily repurchase this, it's a very gentle, non irritating cleanser. 


Natio Rosewater Moisture Balance Day Cream
I absolutely loved the feel and scent of this moisturiser however the SPF 50 in it irritated my eyes so I couldn't use it on my face.
It made a beautiful, hydrating neck and chest sunscreen.

Glow Lab Age Renew Cleansing Balm
This was part of a set of the Age Renew range that I found at Big W. It's the only place that I've seen the Age Renew products.
I found this to be a very nice cleanser. It's light, easily removes my make-up and didn't sting my eyes. I'll repurchase it next time I'm at Big W.

Tarte Maracuja Oil
There really isn't a lot to say about this, to me most facial oils seem the same, it's just the scent that sets them apart. This was pleasant to use.

Tribe Clean Me Balm Cleanser
Tribe gets so much hype online, which in my experience always leads to disappointment because I expect miracles and they don't happen.
I quite enjoyed using the Balm Cleanser. It's gentle, easily removes my makeup and doesn't irritate my eyes.
If it was cheaper I'd probably repurchase, but at $46 for 125ml I won't. They have great sales so I'd be tempted to pick it up on sale.

Pixi Vitamin C Lotion and Vitamin C Caviar Balm
I loved both of these products. I used the lotion during the day at the Caviar Balm at night. I don't have a preference for either, they are both equally lovely.


Kiss Ready Skin Natural Deodorant
Regular readers will know that Kiss Ready Skin is one of my all time favourite natural deodorants. Out of the copious natural deodorants I've tested, Kiss Ready actually works. My jar is an old one, it now comes in a great little tin which make it more portable, plus the tin will be great to reuse.

Moon Haven Vanilla Lip Balm
I really didn't want to finish this gorgeous balm because my beautiful Emma bought it for me and I think of her every time I use it. 

Goldfaden MD Even Skintone Moisturiser
This was pleasant to use but that's about all I can say as I only got a few days use out of it. 

Josie Maran Argan Oil
As I said about the Tarte oil, they're pretty much all the same to me. This was nice to use, that's about all I have to say. 

Avene SPF 50 Sunscreen Lotion
Whilst I enjoyed using this, it irritated my eyes. Why do so many sunscreens irritate my eyes? As long as I'm not sweating it's usually fine, but as it irritates my eyes I obviously won't purchase a full size. 

Bobbi Brown Vitamin Enriched Face Base
If this wasn't so expensive I'd repurchase as it's a gorgeous product, very hydrating whilst also being light. It makes a great primer under makeup and is all round lovely. 




Frank Body Original Coffee Scrub
You're probably over seeing this in my empties. It's such a great scrub and one that I always have in my collection. I've already got several more waiting to be used.

Tarte Pack Your Bags Eye Masks
These are great for days when my eyes are feeling sore and tired, they really perk up the under eye area. I like to use them in the morning before I put my make-up on. They stick well so I don't have to lay down whilst I'm using them which is always a bonus.

In-Flight Magic Hydration Mask
Aside from this being a great face mask, the real miracle is that it's clear! So you can wear it whilst you're flying (or when you're not) and no-one would know. How amazing is that! In-Flight Magic have done a great job with this mask, it really is the perfect flying companion. It's super hydrating, clear, fragrance free and leaves my skin feeling very soft.

The Body Shop Drops of Youth Youth Cream
This is such a gorgeous range, the products smell good and feel lovely on. When I get through my stash of sample I'll be purchasing a full sized pot of youth cream. 

Alpha-H Liquid Gold
I love that this comes in a facial pad, it'd be great for travelling. It's also reminded me that I need to get my bottle of Liquid Gold out and start using it. 




These three are tosses.

The Only Good deodorant is absolutely awful. It was a total waste of money. It did nothing to control odour, in fact I think it made me smell worse than I would have if I didn't wear any deodorant.

The Ole Henriksen cleanser was just too harsh for my skin.

I wanted to love the Tribe mineral make-up but it contains bismuth so makes my skin feel itchy which is not nice.

Sunday, 15 December 2019

Thoughts of the week

1. If you read last weeks post and used the email link to follow the Claremont serial killer trial, don't bother signing up for the emails, they just send you an email with links that are only available to paid subscribers. Fuckers.

2. I'm on the hunt for a lilac cream eye shadow. I purchased one from Kosas but it's darker than I wanted. If you have any recommendations please let me know.

3. The new Carmex Moisture Plus Hydrating Lip Tints are lovely. They're very pigmented and feel great on. I got mine from Priceline but they're also available at Chemist Warehouse.

4. This week the news reported on a man trolling a vegan protest by eating KFC in front of them.
It's a bit sad that silly things like this make the news. 
It's also sad when others try to force their views onto others. 
That goes for diet, religion, political opinion etc. We're all entitled to our own choices and opinions.

5. Speaking of the Kosas eyeshadow, it was so awful that I returned it. I purchased the 10 Second Liquid Eyeshadow after seeing several positive reviews. It's a watery mess that creases within a few minutes so you end up with a purple crease with no colour anywhere else. It wasn't pretty. Primer didn't help, nor did shadow over the top. Eyeshadow shouldn't be so difficult.

Friday, 13 December 2019

FFS Friday - Round two

Hello and welcome to the bonus edition of FFS Friday. Yes, that's right, you get two FFS Friday posts this week because I have to get this out and I can't talk to anyone in person as Chai is stuck to me like glue.

Today we took Chai off his medication. 
His anxiety got so bad that we just couldn't continue. FFS.
The paed says it's not the medication causing the anxiety (even though that is a known side effect), it's that he's calm so more able to think. FFS.
Either way, his anxiety is worse and we can't continue on the medication. FFS.
Whilst it's was lovely having a calmer, less impulsive child, the anxiety just isn't okay.
I feel like I had to choose between my children. 
Having a calmer Chai means that life is a lot nicer for Eljay as he's not being hurt all the time. 
But constant meltdowns, panic attacks and crying fits are not healthy for Chai.
How the hell is a parent supposed to choose between their children like that?
In the end I had no choice, we just can't continue with Chai in that state.

Now I have no idea what to do. 

If I had to choose between getting rid of Chai's anxiety or his ADHD I'd choose the anxiety. But we do need to deal with the impulisivity because it negatively impacts Eljay and that's not okay.  FFS.

What am I supposed to do?

This is why I was so hesitant to medicate Chai. We've tried it twice and both times have been a total disaster. 

I've had four days of Chai in constant meltdown mode and I'm barely coping. He's a fucking nightmare. I can't be out of his sight, even if I'm on the loo he has to be able to see me. FFS.

He's crying all the time, freaks out if I leave the room for more than a minute and panics if I don't answer when he calls out to me.
He's not sleeping, not eating much and convinced that Tiger or I are going to die. 
I am not qualified to deal with this shit. 

Naturally I can't easily access help. We went to Headspace today but they don't deal with children under 12. 
The organisation that does isn't open today. FFS.
I can't get an appointment with a psych and there's a minimum 6 month waiting list to see a public psych. FFS.
WTF am I supposed to do?

I wanted to call the paed today but Chai wouldn't give me two seconds to breathe so I couldn't. 
I'll give him a break from the medication over the weekend and speak to the paed on Monday.

Why does it have to be so fucking difficult?

FFS Friday - Stupid o'clock

Okay, so who's organised for Christmas? We aren't. In fact I have no idea what's happening. 
We do a low key Christmas which is great, but if I don't organise it soon we won't be doing Christmas at all. Not to worry, it'll all come together somehow, haha.

So, this has been a week.

It's been hot (which I don't cope with at all) and Chai's been having constant meltdowns because Tiger is away. FFS.

Will it ever end? Thursday he asked if we could go to the gym cause he wanted to play at the creche. We'd been there half an hour when he called me mid crying fit because he was upset. We had to leave because he couldn't calm himself down. FFS.

It's great that the medication is helping his hyperactivity and impulsivity but the constant meltdowns are exhausting. Added to that he's now starting our days at 4.45am which is just not okay with me. 

It's times like this when I really miss my friend Amanda. She was the shining star in my day, especially the tough ones. We'd spend an hour or two and the park and I'd forget everything that was going wrong and just breathe. It was wonderful.
Good friends are hard to find.


Five days until I see the surgeon and hopefully get some answers about my ankle. I am so over not being able to do much.

As much as my ankle is frustrating, the extra time to read has been great. 
The other bonus is that Tiger's had to lift is game around the house and he's realised how much I actually do and how lazy he was. So overall it's been a positive annoyance.

I hope you are all happy, healthy and surviving the silly season. 

Happy birthday beautiful Emma.
 

Sunday, 8 December 2019

Thoughts of the week

1. Who else felt personally harassed by all the Black Friday and Cyber Monday emails? It was relentless! I can only imagine how bad they would have been if I hadn't unsubscribed to most of the emails. I have about ten email subscriptions and the emails were still crazy. So many of them were shouting at me too. Crazy. I didn't enjoy it at all.

2. If you want to follow the Claremont Serial Killer trial you can sign up for daily emails here
(It's free and this is not an affiliate link, I just found it when I was reading about the trial).

3. Lanolips have now released their tinted lip balms without SPF, which is wonderful for people like me who are allergic to most sunscreens. They're also releasing a new flavour of fruities soon.

4. iHerb have a new site called Love Letter where they sell some products that aren't available in Australia (such as Buxom Full On Plumping Lip Colour). The prices aren't overly cheap, but it's a great opportunity to get your hands on products that we can't buy here. 
If you want to shop use code YUF175 to get 10% off your order (using this code gives me a 10% reward so we both win.)
You can shop iHerb and Love Letter at the same time which is great as it makes it easy to purchase enough for free shipping.

5. I used TeleHealth for the first time this week. What a wonderful idea. So much easier than having to drive 45 minutes to see the Dr.

Friday, 6 December 2019

FFS Friday - Waiting

Hello! Happy Friday! Hope you've all had a good start to summer.
It's been hot here so Tiger and the boys have been swimming lots. I've been sitting on the couch with my leg elevated. Still.

It's been seven weeks since I injured my ankle. It's not getting better. My physio wrote to the surgeon so now I have an appointment in a few weeks. It's two days before he goes on leave over christmas, so clearly nothing is going to happen until next year. 

I'm so over being incapacitated. It's not fun. The boys are over it too. Ah well, I figure I'm lucky because I will get better, this is only temporary. 

Now, today I want to talk about something that I did a few weeks ago. It's something I never thought I'd do and yet here we are. 


I bought a pair of gym shorts. 


I don't have body image issues. Whilst my body isn't perfect I'm happy with it and the amazing things it's done for me. 
Having said that, I am aware of wearing clothes that suit me and flatter my figure.

When I started at the gym I really wasn't on board with wearing leggings, I didn't want to highlight my lumpy bits. There weren't any other options, so I wore leggings even though I didn't want to. Now I'm used to them and don't give them a second though. 


Once the warmer weather hit I started thinking about what I'd wear to the gym. I hate being hot and don't cope well with the heat, so I was searching for an alternative to leggings. I saw a pair of loose shorts at the gym and tried them on.


My first though was how cool and comfortable I felt. 
Then the negative thoughts kicked in. 
They're too short.
You can see my cellulite.
You can see all my spider veins. 
I need to use fake tan, my legs are too white. 
My legs aren't toned enough.


I decided that I wasn't going to buy them, but I couldn't get past how cool and comfortable I felt, so I bought them and I wore them that day.


As I was looking around the gym I noticed a few things.
There were people of all shapes and sizes there.
Most of them didn't have a perfect body.
Everyone was too busy doing their workout to give a damn what I looked like.


It got me thinking about how critical we are of ourselves. We're so unkind to ourselves, way more unkind than anyone else would be. 
When I look at the women at the gym I don't think negatively. I look at them with admiration for the effort they're putting in, how strong they are, how confident they look in their outfit etc. 


If only we could think the same way about ourself as we do of others. Imagine how wonderful it would be if we could look at ourself and instead of focusing on our flaws we could focus on the positives? 
That's what I'm going to try doing. Ignore my flaws and just focus on the good bits.

Remember, you are all beautiful. Give yourself the love and kindness that you give to others. 
If we can all do this perhaps the world will be a happier place. 






Sunday, 1 December 2019

Thoughts of the week

1. The trial of the alleged Claremont serial killer commenced this week. I've been following it closely. I really hope that the families get some answers about what happened to their daughters. I can only imagine the pain and trauma they've lived with for over twenty years now.

2. One thing that's been great about having a busted ankle is all the time I've had to read. I read six books in one week.

3. Does anyone else get annoyed at the way media speak about women? Not the blatant stuff, the subtle stuff. 
Like when a celeb is on the beach and the headline is "*** flaunts her bikini body". Wrong. She's on the beach, in her bathers. She's not flaunting herself. Contrary to what the media portrays, most women don't dress for men, we dress for ourselves and wear what makes us feel good. 
Imagine if the media spoke about men in the same way they spoke about women. There would be outrage.

4. Who got some bargains at the Black Friday sales? I was bombarded with emails, it was crazy. It's not a bargain if you don't need it. I purchased two cleansers and some sunscreen as that's all I needed.

5. A while ago I was sent the Hey Bud face mask and I'm loving it. It has a gorgeous fresh green scent and it makes my skin look luminous and feel very hydrated and soft. I'll definitely be repurchasing when mine is empty.
They've kindly given me a discount code, you can get 15% off your order with code beautifullyglossy.

Friday, 29 November 2019

FFS Friday - Worse

I medicated Chai last week. 
If you read last weeks FFS Friday post you'll know I was in two minds. 
So what made me medicate? A few things.
We had two really awful days in a row. Really awful. When I say awful days, they're days when Chai starts the day upset and nothing I do will change it. Days like that are tough for all of us. Those are the days I wish I'd never had Chai. That's not ok for any of us. I don't want to feel that way, Chai doesn't want to feel upset and Eljay doesn't want a brother who's unkind. 
If I'm feeling awful I can only imagine how truly terrible Chai must feel.
Thursday a close friend lost one of their friends. He had similar issues to Chai and couldn't continue on so ended his life. It made me realise that if I don't get Chai's issues under control that could be him sometime in the future.
Thursday afternoon Chai did something really worrying and that was my decision made.  

Friday I read an article that suggested a lot of Chai's issues could be fixed with fish oil so naturally I freaked out, told myself I hadn't tried everything before medicating and decided I'd done the wrong thing.
Then I told my brain to calm the fuck down and stop being stupid. Sometimes my brain is my worst enemy. 

I can't say I'm totally okay with this decision. I'm not. But we cannot continue this way. I can't let Chai feel awful all the time and I can't let Eljay grow up in such a high stress household. 

Tiger played no part in this decision. He has no realistic understanding of what life is like for Chai. He thinks that all the issues are because he works away and that if he comes home it'll all be fixed. 
It won't. 
Also, if he truly believes that why the fuck is he still working away?

So here we are. It's been a week now and so far other than an escalation of his anxiety, we haven't noticed any other changes. Considering the medication is supposed to help his anxiety, I'm not impressed that it's having the opposite effect. We'll give it another week and if he's still no better we'll stop the medication as it's clearly not the right one for him.  

Speaking of things that are worse, my ankle is. I hurt it twice on the weekend (doing things that shouldn't have hurt). 
Saturday I was sitting down to put on my ankle brace when I lightly touched the back of my heel. 
It hurt so much that I couldn't move or talk and nearly vomited. I had to sit there for five minutes before I could function.
Sunday I was getting out of the car and touched my heel on the edge of the car. Same deal, it hurt so much that I nearly vomited. 

Since then my ankle has got progressively sorer, I've lost movement and gone back to needing pain killers and my crutches full time. 

I saw the physio on Wednesday, he's not happy and says that it shouldn't be so easy to hurt and should not be so sore. He's written to my surgeon and I'm hoping to find out today what the next step is. It'll probably be an MRI. 

Here's hoping they find out what's wrong and I can start getting better!

Have a beautiful weekend :)

Sunday, 24 November 2019

Thoughts of the week

1. I've discovered a new favourite lip balm flavour....watermelon mint. I have an old Revo lip balm that I dug out a few weeks ago when I wanted to use a ball shaped lip balm. Does anyone else do that? Decide they want to use a particular type of balm (tube, oval tube, pot, squeeze tube, tin etc?) Just me? Okay then.
Anyhow, the Revo lip balm is melon mint flavoured and it's gorgeous. I don't think Revo balms are available any more however I've found an Aussie store called Toby and Rosie who have a watermelon mint flavoured balm, so I've ordered it.

2. I got good news this week. I'm allowed to start doing legs at the gym again. I can't use any weight but at least I can do something. I did a small leg workout on Friday, it wasn't much but was nice to get my legs moving again.

3. On Tuesday I was sent the limited edition Luk Beautifood Nude Pink lipstick. It's perfection. You know when you apply a product and it's love at first application? That's what Nude Pink is. I've already purchased a backup.

4. Why don't shopping centres have parcel lockers? You could shop online from the stores in the centre, they could put your purchases into the locker and you could pick it up whenever you wanted to. 
They're constantly asking people to shop local and support the local businesses, but they don't do anything to make that easier. They don't offer click and collect, they don't offer home delivery and yet they complain when you don't shop with them.
If retailers made it easier people would shop with them more. Parcel lockers would be a great start. Maybe I should patent that idea and start selling it to shopping centres. I might get rich. Haha.

5. What's with the laws at liquor shops now? We don't drink much so rarely go into a bottle shop. It's been about 12 months since I bought alcohol, however I got told off at the bottle shop this week because I needed Chai to carry my purchases to the counter. I couldn't carry it myself as I'm on crutches and there was only one staff member who was busy serving customers. What else was I supposed to do? I understand children can't have alcohol, but what's the deal with them not being able to carry it to the counter when I can't?

For anyone who's wondering, the links in this post aren't affiliate links.

Friday, 22 November 2019

FFS Friday - What to do?

Having a busted ankle really isn't fun. I'm over it. As of this week I'm officially done. It's not fun, I've had enough and I want it fixed. Unfortunately it's not that simple. I still have another three months until I'm expected to be back to normal. FFS.

Having said that, there a few funny things about having a busted ankle, mainly I keep on getting stuck.

A few weeks ago I got stuck on a foot stool. I was in my wardrobe and wanted to look at my lip balms because I hadn't seen them for a few weeks. I climbed up onto the stool, admired my balms, turned around to get down and then realised I was stuck.
I couldn't put my busted ankle down first because I couldn't put weight on it. I couldn't put my other leg down first because I couldn't bend my ankle. I'd left my crutches in the kitchen, there was nothing I could hang on to in order to get down so I was totally stuck. I didn't want to call Mum to help me so I stood there for a while then fell/sat down. Won't do that again.

I also keep on getting stuck on the ground. I can't crouch down so if I need something on the floor I have to sit down, but then I can't get back up again. Fun times. Having a dodgy right knee just adds to the difficulties. Oh well.

I've decided to medicate Chai. I don't want to. We saw the paediatrician at the end of last month. He prescribed medication. I bought the meds but haven't given them to Chai yet. I keep on going around in circles. If he had asthma I'd happily give him the medicine so why am I so hesitant to give him medication that will help him and also help the whole family?


I've decided it comes down to the fact that mental heath issues aren't definite diagnoses, people can be misdiagnosed. If someone has asthma, there's no doubt about it so you know that they need medication. 
Mental health issues aren't like that. They can change and be misdiagnosed.


Chai doesn't want to take the meds because he doesn't trust the Dr. Fair enough. 
I have no idea what to do.
Everyone who's spent a decent amount of time around Chai thinks I should medicate him. Even people who are totally against medication change their minds after being around Chai. 
Some days I think he's not that bad, but then he's all I've ever know so his behaviour is normal to me (even though I know it's not normal behaviour). 
Other days I think he's terrible and I can't stand his behaviour a second longer. 


I just don't know what to do. 
What if I give him the meds and it has a long term negative effect on his health? What if I give it to him and it has long term positive effects on his health? 
What if I wait a while and his behaviour improves? What if I wait a while and his behaviour gets worse?
What if the meds cause other conditions (which is possible)? What if the meds make him docile and zombie like? What if they make him a dream child? 
Is it unkind of me not to give him the meds? It must be awful for him dealing with his anxiety and panic attacks. If the meds can stop that is it wrong not to give them to him?
They'd also help him sleep which could potentially mean that Tiger and I could sleep in the same bed. I don't remember the last time we slept in the same bed all night. It'd be at least two years, if not longer. 
Is it cruel to force him to take meds that he doesn't want to or do I need to make him for his own good?
See what I mean? I just keep on going around and around in circles. 

The meds he's been prescribed only need to be taken for six to twelve months then he can just take them when he's having a bad day. 

I think we need to give them a go. It could be life changing for all of us.

It's really silly but I feel like giving him the meds is giving in and admitting failure. I feel like I should be able to fix his mental health issues. The rational side of me knows how silly that is but the emotional side of me isn't listening to reason. 

What to do?