Friday, 28 February 2014

FFS Friday - I haz skillz

Hello Friday! By some miracle we've all survived another week! And to make things even better, it's a long weekend for us here in the west.

Last Friday Tiger decided to rearrange the pictures in our house. FFS.

We haven't yet got the pictures that we want so have just hung the ones that we already have as a temporary measure so the walls aren't bare. They've all been hung in certain positions for practical reasons. Which Tiger forgets. FFS.

Without discussing it with me, he spent at least half an hour wandering around the house rearranging things. FFS.

When he'd finished I put it all back the way it had been. FFS.

A few days earlier we'd discussed moving the pictures and I'd explained to him why everything was where it was, but clearly he forgot that discussion and put things in places where they wouldn't work. FFS.

He forgets that we can't have wall hangings that are within Chai's reach as he grabs hold of them, or swings them on the wall leaving black marks etc. FFS.

When I moved everything back he wanted to rearrange it again so I spent a good fifteen minutes telling him why each picture or hanging couldn't go where he wanted it to go. FFS.

I have no doubt that we'll go through the whole exercise again in another few weeks. FFS.

Whilst he was at it he also moved Chai's toy box to a totally impractical spot. FFS.

the day he left I moved it back to it's original spot. Again, it was there because that's where it works. FFS.

Immediately after Tiger went back to work Eljay went back to waking up at 4am. FFS.

He'd been sleeping until 5.55am and I was loving the extra sleep, but now that Tiger has gone he's back to his old tricks. FFS.

I've racked my brain but I can't think of why this is happening. He has the same routine all the time, we pretty much do the same things, the only difference is that Tiger isn't here and I'm totally exhausted, neither of which are a good reason for him to wake up so early. FFS.

I'm going to have a stern word to him if he wakes up early tomorrow morning. FFS.

Speaking of Eljay, the poor thing had his first fall on Wednesday. FFS.

He fell headfirst off the bed and into the portacot (thank goodness). FFS.

We'd been playing on the bed and he was making his way to the edge of the bed as usual, so I had hold of his leg. I sneezed which loosened my grip and at the same time he did a huge leap forward, plunging headfirst off the bed and into the cot. FFS.

In my haste to get to him I got off the bed then cleverly fell over, spraining my right ankle, left knee and left wrist. I have skillz! FFS.

Thankfully he was okay, he screamed for a while then had a feed and all was well with the world. Not FFS.

Unfortunately I can't say the same for my ankle, knee and wrist, all of which are really sore. FFS.

After last weeks Cloud Dough Incident you'd think I would have learned my lesson, but no, I went back for more this week. FFS.

Chai wanted to play with the dough and it was quite hot so I set him up at the dining table. Big mistake. FFS.

I ended up with dough all over the floor, all over Chai, all over the table and all through the carpet in the theatre room. FFS.

As I still have no vacuum I had to crawl around on my knees with the dustpan and brush trying to collect all the cloud dough. FFS.

It's still embedded in the table. FFS.

I really need to throw it in the bin. FFS.

That concludes my whinges for today, I hope they've made you laugh and you aren't too disappointed at the lack of poo incidents, I'm sure there will be one next week. 
If you'd like to read more whinges, head over to Sarah and Brad's blog

Wednesday, 26 February 2014

Thoughts of the month

1. I love this post about body after baby by Mez.

2. This year I've decided to set myself monthly challenges. My challenges for this month were to do one piece of housework a day (eg, vacuum, mop, clean bathrooms etc) and to do some form of exercise every day. It's been going okay. I've managed to do one piece of housework most days. The exercise isn't going as well as I hoped, I aggravated an old knee injury skipping so had to take it easy for a week, but I did make an effort to be more active during that time. I'm thinking it's probably more realistic to aim for exercise five days a week.

3. I've been considering officially going vegetarian. I am mainly vegetarian anyway, just not officially. I've never particularly liked meat and rarely eat red meat. When Tiger is away I don't eat any meat at all, when he's home I eat chicken, however the idea of eating flesh is becoming more and more gross to me. Red meat tastes disgusting, I don't like it at all and I can't say that I enjoy chicken either, so I don't know why I bother eating it. Aside from all that, I feel so much healthier when I stick to a vegetarian diet.

4. Slowly but surely I'm losing the baby weight. If I could find a non sugar energy solution I'm sure I'd lose it much quicker. 

5. Making friends in a new town when you don't work or play sport is tough. Both Tiger and I miss having friends. We're lucky that we have some family and my BFF here, but we miss the network of friends that we had in the city.

6. Those of you who want to get fit, head over to Move Fuel Love. They are giving away two memberships to the Michelle Bridges 12WBT.  

7. The farmers market here is brilliant. I love having easy access to a huge range of fresh food and knowing that most of it was grown a few hours away. A few weeks ago I found dried bananas there so I bought some carob and coated them with it. If you haven't tried carob coated dried bananas you are missing out!

Monday, 24 February 2014

2014 Beauty Diet - The Great Cull

Slowly but surely I'm going through and culling my collection. It is years overdue and I have a lot of things to go through, so it's going to take me a while. I'm trying to be as ruthless as I can, so once I've finished my first round of culling I'll go through everything again and do another cull. I'm comparing everything to my favourite products and if I don't love something, out it goes. Products I'm not sure about are going into my Use it or Lose it pile and if there is something I'm really on the fence about I'm asking Tiger's opinion. If he doesn't tell me he loves it, out it goes. 

Behold the first part of my cull. I've been going through my lip products as they make up the majority of my collection. A lot of them have gone into the Use it or Lose it pile, but I've also found a few that I'm going to either give away or throw out. 

What you see here are 23 products that I'm going to get rid of!

I haven't gone through my whole collection yet. I opened one train case and realised that the entire train case will go into my Use it or Lose it pile, so I'm leaving that until I get through my current Use it or Lose it pile.

This is my Use it or Lose it pile. As you can see, it's rather large!
De-stashing has been quite satisfying, I'm really enjoying going through my collection and having an honest look at what I will and won't use. Getting down to a manageable collection of products I love and use regularly is going to be such a great feeling. 

Sunday, 23 February 2014

New Instagram

To save you all from getting spammed with pictures of my babies and so that I can post make-up photos without my family complaining, I've set up an Instagram account for my blog. If you'd like to follow me my account is here.

Friday, 21 February 2014

FFS Friday - Smurf Hands

Sunday Chai accidentally whacked Eljay in the head with the vacuum cleaner. FFS.

Really, really hard. FFS.

Tiger saw it all so yelled at Chai when it happened. This meant that we had two screaming babies. FFS.

Poor Eljay had a huge lump on his head. FFS.

This had to happen two days before we were taking him to the Dr to get his immunisations. FFS.

I put arnica on it and by some miracle he didn't have a bruise. Not FFS.

Every now and again I like to make believe that I am a crafty mumma. FFS.

I am so not a crafty mumma. FFS.

This week I decided to make cloud dough for Chai to play with. Being the crafty mumma that I'm not, I got fancy and added food colouring into the mix. 

Blue food colouring. 

I ended up with blue hands. FFS.

Smurf hands. FFS.

Then I discovered that food colouring doesn't wash off. FFS.

Or scrub off. FFS.

Or come off with eucalyptus. FFS.

Or nail polish remover. FFS.

Or that horrible abrasive workers soap. FFS.

Or metho. FFS.

Or turps. FFS.

I gave up after that. FFS.

I had smurf hands for three days. FFS.

Chai had smurf hands too. FFS.

When he was playing with the cloud dough he got smurf hands too. FFS.

For some reason his hands were back to normal the next day. FFS.

Wednesday Tiger had a colonoscopy and endoscopy. FFS.

This meant that he had to fast on Tuesday. FFS.

He gets hangry and is awful when he hasn't eaten. FFS.

By 7.40am he was driving me crazy. FFS.

He kept on wanting to eat things and I was constantly telling him he couldn't eat then he'd get annoyed with me. FFS.

Thankfully he'd snapped out of it by 9am and was being pleasant again. Not FFS.

The tests were all clear. Not FFS.

A few weeks ago I decided to get some water balloons for Chai. Not FFS.

It's been a long time since I've had water balloons but I remember how much fun they were when I was little. I remember filling them up under the tap, so I got them home, told Chai I had something fun for him to play with and then tried to fill them up. It didn't work. FFS.

Nowadays you need a special thingo to fill up water balloons. FFS.

And I couldn't find one anywhere. FFS.

So I had a very disappointed little boy who couldn't play with the water balloons that I'd got him all excited about. FFS.

I even googled how to blow up water balloons. FFS.

After three weeks of hunting I finally found a water balloon blower upper. Not FFS.

To my great satisfaction, this week Tiger finally had a FFS worthy moment with Chai. Not FFS.

It gave him a taste of what things are like for me when he's away. Not FFS.

It was totally his own fault. FFS.

When he takes Chai's nappy off he'll often take it off when Chai is standing up, he just undoes it and whips it off. He did that Wednesday morning, only to discover that Chai had done a poo. FFS.

Tiger had poo all over him, the wall, the floor and Chai. Hahahaha.

When he told me all I could do was laugh. Welcome to my world sunshine. Not FFS.

I'm such a great wife. FFS.

That's all I have to whinge about this week. If you'd like to read more whinges, head over to Sarah and Brads blog

As a parting gift, I leave you with this photo of a doll that MIL got for Chai.

Wednesday, 19 February 2014

1 Skin Solution Bath and Shower Crystals

Image credit
When I was getting my hospital bag ready for the birth of Eljay, I purchased a great travel pack from 1 Skin Solution that contained the Bath and Shower Crystals, a Lime Thyme Body Wash and Vanilla Bean Body Cream along with a free vanilla lip balm. All for the bargain price of $19.50!

The Bath and Shower Crystals smell amazing, they have a gorgeous fresh lime and lavender scent. This is a really unique product in that it starts off as a scrub but then when rubbed in it dissolves a little and is very hydrating. I used it as a scrubby body wash (mainly on my wobbly bits) and really liked it. 

I haven't tried using these as bath crystals but I'm sure they'd be amazing because they smell so lovely. 
Image credit

1 Skin Solution says: When you have a busy lifestyle it's hard to put aside large amounts of 'me time' but you can turn your everyday bath or shower into a luxurious daily escape with our invigorating bath and shower crystals. Use them as an exfoliating body scrub in the shower, or as bath crystals as you relax in a well deserved hot tub. Soothe and invigorate your senses at the same time with essential oils of relaxing lavender and invigorating lime. These sea salt, brown sugar and magnesium crystals are incorporated with emollient oil and designed to moisturize, exfoliate and nourish your skin, leaving your skin looking healthy and you feeling fabulous. 

You can purchase the travel pack here or a full sized tub here. The full sized (400 gram) tub costs $34.65.

Ingredients: sea salt, magnesium sulphate, brown sugar, capric/caprylic triglyceride, lime oil, lavender oil. 

Monday, 17 February 2014

Soap and Glory Body Scrubs

A few months ago I ordered four (yes, four!) Soap and Glory body scrubs from Kit Cosmetics. Now that I've used them all it's time to review them.

Flake Away - This has the usual gorgeous Soap and Glory scent. It contains shea butter, sugar and peach seed. I am a big lover of sugar scrubs and this one is no exception. It works really well, is very exfoliating without being harsh and it's one I'll definitely purchase again. As with the rest of the Soap and Glory products, it's very reasonably priced. You can get a small tub for $5.95 or a large tub for $16.95. I very cleverly managed to delete the photos that I'd taken of this, but if you imagine a thick sugar scrub you'll get the general idea.

Scrub 'Em and Leave 'Em - This is different to my usual preferred salt and sugar scrubs, but to my surprise I really like it. When I look at it for some reason it reminds me of breakfast. It doesn't have the usual Soap and Glory scent, it's scented with Mist You Madly's bergamot, blackcurrant, magnolia, freesia, vanilla and musk. The scent is okay but I prefer the traditional scent. 
Scrub 'Em and Leave 'Em contains babassu oil, sea salt with jojoba and mandarin oils. There are also little pink scrubby bits. It isn't as dense as a traditional salt/sugar scrub but it's just as effective. 
A large 300ml tub costs $16.95.

The Breakfast Scrub - First off, this smells amazing! It has a maple scent which I didn't think much of when I read the description, but then I smelled it. Imagine maple syrup and that's exactly what it smells like. This is a regular salt/sugar scrub, it works really well and smells great. Nothing else to say really. There is no price showing on Kit Cosmetics at the moment but I think it was $17.95

Sugar Crush - This is my least favourite out of all the scrubs. Despite being a sugar scrub I don't find it to be as scrubby as I'd like it to be. The sugar crystals dissolve really quickly before I'm able to give my wobbly bits a thorough scrubbing. It has a lovely citrus fragrance which is great for a morning pick me up. A 300ml pot costs $17.95.

Friday, 14 February 2014

FFS Friday - Somebody hold me

This weeks FFS Friday post is a pretty pathetic attempt because after the last two spectacularly entertaining weeks, this week has been rather tame. Not FFS.

I'm not complaining. 

In order to keep you all happy, I've managed to find a few things to whinge about. Rest assured that once Tiger goes back to work I'm sure all manner of things will go wrong again and FFS Friday will be back to normal.

You may have noticed that this weeks post is a little late. FFS.

I went to write it last night but my computer was downloading 13 updates. FFS.

I left it to do it's thing, planning to write my post first thing this morning. When I turned it on it had 19375 updates to apply. FFS.

19375? WTF? FFS.

It finished that and I thought I was good to go, but then it spent a considerable amount of time Preparing to Configure Windows and then Configuring Windows Updates. FFS.

Half an hour later I could finally use my computer. FFS.

Last week I mentioned that I broke the vacuum. FFS.

We took it in for repair and they don't know when we'll get it back. FFS.

Despite my general aversion for housework, not having a vacuum is really inconvenient. FFS.

It does however, give me a great excuse for having a permanently messy house. Not FFS.

No vacuum means that I can't mop the floors because they need vacuuming first. Bonus! Not FFS.

My MIL talks baby talk to Eljay. FFS.

You know that stupid baby talk, in that stupid voice "who's a cute little bubby hey? Who's a cute little boy" and all manner of other stupid things. FFS.

It drives me crazy. FFS.

Chai has started doing it now. FFS.

It's actually quite cute when he does it. Not FFS.

Eljay is mobile now. FFS.

I am so not ready for this. FFS.

He's not crawling properly, he's commando crawling but he can get wherever he wants to go. FFS.

I am so not ready for this. FFS.

Somebody hold me. 

Eljay being mobile has got me thinking about baby proofing the house. FFS.

It's already pretty baby proof because of Chai, but there is the problem of Chai. FFS.

He leaves things laying around all the time. FFS.

Little things that could easily choke Eljay. FFS.

So now I'm constantly walking around the house searching for and picking up little things that could choke my baby. FFS.

It also means that my Mummy Paranoia has kicked itself into high gear again. FFS.

Whenever I put Eljay down, if I don't hear him for a minute I'm convinced he's choked on something. FFS.

I frantically check on him, convinced that I'll find him dead. FFS.

I find him happily chewing on a toy, a piece of furniture, his foot etc. Not FFS.

My Mummy Paranoia also means that I'm constantly checking on him when he's asleep. FFS.

It's ridiculous. FFS.

I'll walk into the room, see him move but still wait to check that he's breathing. FFS.

Cause if he wasn't breathing I'm sure he'd still move. FFS.

Gotta love Mummy Paranoia.

That's all I can muster up for today. I hope you all have a beautiful weekend.
If you'd like to read more whinges, head on over to Sarah and Brads blog
If you've had any FFS worthy moments, please tell me all about them. 

Wednesday, 12 February 2014

2014 Beauty Diet - Update and Use it or Lose it

I finally have a product to count for the beauty diet! It's a toss and not an empty, but after discussing it with Vita and Norlin, I'm going to count it towards my Beauty Diet tally. As Norlin pointed out, the purpose of the Beauty Diet is to finish what needs to be finished and get rid of the products that I don't like. There is no point hoarding products that I'll never use.

So with all that, behold my first product for the Beauty Diet!
I've been using this for for about three weeks now and I just don't like it. I used it a while ago, didn't like it so tossed it in the cupboard and moved on to something else. I know most people rave about it, but it doesn't work for me. It makes my skin look awful, old and horrible. Maybe the people who it works for are younger than me, because on my skin it looks terrible. So terrible that I couldn't bring myself to finish the bottle, even though I really wanted to. I tried mixing it with moisturiser, using primer underneath etc and it made no difference so out it goes. 

I still haven't done a stash clean out, I'll be doing that soon and I know that will yield some great results. I can think of at least four products I'll be getting rid of. Even so, I still won't be going crazy buying new products, I'll only buy off my (extensive) wishlist. The two products that I'm planning on buying are one of the new YSL Gloss Volupte's and an Hourglass Ambient Lighting blush when they are released here. Even if I toss out more that three products, I only plan to buy these two things at the moment. 

Tossing out my Healthy Mix Serum gave me the idea of adding a Use It or Lose It part into the Beauty Diet. When I do my stash clear out I'm going to put aside the products I am unsure about, use them for a few weeks and if I don't like them, out they'll go. 

When I do my stash clean out and have my Use It or Lose It pile sorted I'll do another post. 

Monday, 10 February 2014

Endota Spa Gel Cleanser

I'm on a bit of a cleanser review roll at the moment, I have another one coming up after this one too!

When I finish the huge stash of cleansers that I currently have waiting for me, this is one that I'll certainly consider buying. Not only does it smell lovely, it has a unique, pleasant gel texture that I really like. Used at the end of the day, Gel Cleanser easily removes all my make-up, including eye makeup. It is very gentle on my skin and not drying or irritating.

Endota Spa says: Succulent skin starts here. This clearing face cleanser removes the day's grime and gives skin a clean, fresh faced start. Native cehami calms and enlivens. Sweet orange detoxifies and eases skin stress. Perfect for normal to oily, environmentally stressed and mature skins. 

Endota Spa Organic Skincare gel cleanser with orange and cehami is certified organic and contains no: parabens, sulphates, synthetic fragrances and dyes, mineral oils, glycols, SLS/SLES, silicons, PEGS.

A 90ml tube costs $40.00 and can be purchased on the Endota Website

Ingredients: aloe vera water, sodium cocoamphoacetate, glycerine lauryl glucoside, disodium cocoyl glutamate, sodium lauryl glucose carboxylate, matricaria oil, calendula extract, melisa officinalis leaf extract, centipeda cunninghammi extract, tea saponin, coco-glucoside, glyceryl oleate, almond glycerides, hydroyzed wheat protein, hydroxypropyl guar, glycerine, potassium sorbate, sodium benzoate, benxyl alcohol, lavender oil, patchouli oil, orange oil, geranium oil, bergamot oil, ylang ylang oil. 

Saturday, 8 February 2014

FFS Friday - The Maggot Invasion

As I mentioned yesterday the Maggot Invasion happened last week and it's so spectacular that it's worthy of it's own post.

The whole incident was made worse by my extreme tiredness. I got three and a half hours sleep Friday night and five hours sleep Saturday night. Sunday morning I was woken up at 4.30am by Eljay who refused to go back to sleep and then proceeded to wake up Chai. I tried to get Chai back to sleep but he was too distracted by Eljay so we were all up at 5am. FFS.

Other than the early wake-up our morning started off like any other. I was planning to take the boys out to see my brother so we had breakfast and I was doing some tidying up. I took the rubbish out to the bin and as I was walking back inside I noticed maggots on the garage floor. FFS.

I turned the lights on to have a better look and saw that there were maggots everywhere. FFS.

There would have been at least 300 of them. FFS.

They were all on a pilgrimage trying to get inside our house. FFS. 

You'd think with all the noise that comes from our house they would be wanting to get away from it, but they were all heading for our door. FFS.

I got out the fly spray and sprayed them but it didn't work. Fuck. FFS.

Normally I would have called Dad to come and help but he was away so I called my brother. He told me that salt would kill them so I got the salt out and assalted (haha) them but it didn't work. Double fuck. FFS.

Next I called Mum and got her to ask my step Dad how to kill them. He said barrier or surface spray and mum said hot water. Both of those methods worked. Not FFS.

I moved the car out of the garage, put Chai inside and started spraying the maggots. FFS.

They were everywhere. FFS.

All over the floor, in the lines on the concrete (I'm sure those lines have a proper name), up the walls, on the various things that we have in the garage etc. FFS.

As soon as I closed the garage door Chai started screaming because he wanted to come outside, but I think the urgent/beseaching/pleading tone of my voice convinced him to stay inside and be quiet. Not FFS.

I'd got a little bit of spraying done when Eljay woke up. FFS.

I tended to him then put him down to play and he promptly started screaming. FFS.

Great. I couldn't put him in the carrier because I didn't want him breathing in chemicals and I couldn't leave him screaming, so I called my brother to see if he could come over and help. He didn't answer the phone. FFS.

I called my BFF and she didn't answer the phone either. FFS.

I contemplated crying but that wouldn't have helped anything so I sat there trying to figure out what to do, when my BFF rang back. Not FFS.

She was at my house within five minutes. FFS.

It was 7.30am when she arrived. Not FFS.

The boys love her so happily played with her whilst I cleaned up. Not FFS.

As soon as I started spraying the garage, cockroaches started appearing inside. FFS.

I killed five of the horrible things. FFS.

I sprayed all the maggots, emptied and cleaned out the bin and then washed and swept out the garage. It took me two hours. FFS.

I used two cans of surface spray and one can of barrier spray in the garage. FFS.

From this experience I learned that maggot stick to broom and that ants eat maggots. FFS.

The rest of the day I kept on finding live maggots so spent a lot of time walking around the garage with a kettle full of boiling water. FFS.

I was still doing that Monday too. FFS. 

And Tuesday. FFS.

I'm now paranoid about maggots and I'm sure I see them every time I open the garage door. FFS.

I'm also very reluctant to use the organics bin because I don't want another maggot invasion. 

Things like this never happen when Tiger is home. FFS.

Friday, 7 February 2014

FFS Friday - I have no words

This week you get a bonus FFS Friday post. Come back tomorrow for the Maggot Invasion. I was going to post the Maggot Invasion and save this post for next week, but this week has been so eventful that I couldn't keep it all to myself for another week. The Maggot Invasion was so spectacular that it deserves it's own post, so there will be a FFS Friday post tomorrow as well. Believe me when I say you'll want to read it!

Just for a change, last fortnight Tigers work got his pay wrong. FFS.

Unsurprisingly, they underpaid him. By $800. FFS.

Then when they paid him the $800 they took half of it in tax. FFS.

Wednesday I got a bill for power at our previous address. I thought I'd paid it off, so I called Synergy who told me (after a great deal of questioning from me) the account at that address was still in my name. FFS.

Despite me speaking to them several times and putting in a disconnection request, it hadn't been done. FFS.

They told me there was nothing I could do about it and I had to ask the new owners for the money! FFS.

And really, you'd think the new owners would have put the account into their name! FFS.

I was sofa king pissed off. The bill for the new owners is $292.25 and Synergy won't refund me the money as it's a "third party dispute". FFS.

You are kidding me! FFS.

This swing Tiger left his car at home. This means that Chai is convinced Daddy is home or coming home soon. FFS.

The poor baby thinks that Daddy is home every time he hears a car or sees Tiger's car in the driveway. It breaks my heart. FFS.

You know how everyone talks about the terrible two's? They lied. It's the tyrannical three's! FFS.

Oh My Goodness, if Chai is going to carry on the way he has been recently for the next twelve months, I will not survive. FFS.

He's driving me nuts! FFS.

Constantly whinging, yelling and carrying on about nothing in particular. FFS.

I have no tolerance for that sort of behaviour. FFS.

Last Friday I was totally over solo parenting so decided to get us out of the house. I took the boys to the indoor playground so that Chai could burn off some energy. Not FFS.

He decided that he didn't want to wear a nappy or pull-ups, he was going to wear "big boy jocks". It was the first time we'd been out without him wearing a nappy so I was a little concerned, but I trust that he knows what he's ready to do and when he's ready to do it. I took a spare pair of undies and shorts just in case. Not FFS.

We were at the playground for four hours and Chai had a ball. I asked him every half an hour if he needed to go to the toilet and each time he said that he didn't. When he hadn't had an accident after 3 1/2 hours I was super impressed. Not FFS.

After four hours I was about to take him to the toilet when he announced that he didn't want to use the toilet, he was just going to do a wee in his big boy pants and that's exactly what he did. FFS.

Thankfully his undies and shorts soaked it all up so I didn't have to clean up wee, I just had to wipe him down and change his pants. Not FFS.
Usually when we are at the playground I get to sit down for a few minutes whilst Chai plays, but this time he wanted me with him the whole time. FFS.

So there I was with my heavy nappy bag and Eljay in the carrier, following Chai around the playground. FFS.

For four and a half hours. FFS.

When he was so tired that he could barely stand up I decided it was time to go home but Chai disagreed. FFS.

He made his feelings known by yelling. FFS.

A lot. FFS.

The whole way out of the playground all I heard was "AAAARRRRRGGGGG" followed by three seconds of silence (just enough time to draw breath), then "AAAARRRRRGGGGG" followed by another three seconds of silence and so it continued. FFS.

The whole play centre was staring at me. FFS.

And when I say the whole play centre, I really mean the whole play centre. They all stopped what they were doing and just stared at me. FFS.

Clearly they've never seen a child screaming before. FFS.

All I could do was laugh, it really was funny. FFS.

I'm sure they all thought I was crazy. FFS.

They're probably right. FFS.

Our dishwasher is broken. FFS.

They told me that it won't be fixed for at least two weeks. FFS.

Naturally it had to be the two weeks that Tiger is away. FFS.

Monday they called and said that the parts are in and can they come around Wednesday? I was super excited at the thought of getting my dishwasher back a week early and in anticipation I didn't wash the dishes Tuesday night. The guy came over Wednesday and picked up my dishwasher to take it back to the workshop for repairs. FFS.

He said it'd be fixed that day but they'd need a few days to test it so it'd be ready Friday, which would mean I wouldn't get it back until next week. FFS.

I got it back yesterday! Winning!

Our vacuum is broken too. FFS.

I cleverly broke it. FFS.

Now I'm just waiting for a third piece of household equipment to break. FFS.

As long as it's not my coffee machine I'll be okay. FFS. 

It's a sad reflection of my social life that I'm very upset about the guy who runs the Foxtel stand at the shopping centre leaving. FFS.

Sounds strange but Tiger and I met him when he sorted our Foxtel for us and since then every time I'm at the shopping centre I stop and we have a chat. A lot of the time he's the only adult that I speak to face to face all day, or even all week. FFS.

Now he's gone I have no-one to talk to. FFS.

I am seriously considering befriending the new Foxtel guy, but that would just be strange. FFS.

Chai has a thing for laying on top of Eljay. FFS.

Every time I put Eljay on the floor Chai lays on him. FFS.

I'm sure I say "Chai, get off him" at least 50 times a day. FFS.

If Eljay turns out super skinny I'll know it's from Chai squashing him. FFS.

After the Maggot incident on Sunday, I was hoping for a less exciting day Monday, but it was not to be. FFS.

First thing in the morning I was feeding Eljay and putting him to sleep when Chai came in to tell me he'd done a poo. On the floor. FFS.

I put a screaming Eljay down and discovered that Chai had done his poo right next to the potty. FFS.

He hadn't bothered taking his shorts off so they were full of poo, there was poo all down his leg and poo all over the floor. FFS.

He told me he'd had "a little accident" but "it's okay I have a little accident". FFS.

I asked him why he hadn't used the toilet and his response was "I just decided to be naughty". Fucking brilliant. FFS.

I made him wear a nappy for the rest of the day. 

That evening I was getting Eljay changed and ready for bed when Chai came in and told me he was bleeding. FFS.

He had a blood nose and there was blood all over his face, in his mouth and all over his hand where he'd tried to wipe it. FFS.

It was bleeding quite a bit so I cleaned him up and got him to put his head back to slow the bleeding. He hated having his head back so I had to lay him down on the floor. Poor Eljay was screaming the whole time because he wanted to go to bed. FFS.

I had Chai cleaned up and the bleeding was slowing down when he spewed. And spewed. And spewed. FFS.

Then he started coughing. FFS.

At this point I realised I needed help so for the second day in a row I called my BFF and asked her to come over. Once again she was there within 2 minutes. Not FFS.

She walked in to what looked like a crime scene. FFS.

Eljay was lying on the floor screaming, Chai was on the floor screaming, there was bloody vomit all over the floor and both Chai and I were covered in blood and spew. FFS.

I had blood all over my face where Chai had coughed, there was vomit on my skirt and legs and blood all over my arms and hands. FFS.

Chai had blood all over his face, arms and hands. FFS.

My BFF took Eljay whilst Chai and I had a shower and I finally managed to get his nose to stop bleeding. Not FFS.

I had Chai settled down and was about to put Eljay to bed when the power went out. FFS.

Naturally it was a hot night too. FFS.

It didn't come back on until 9.45pm. FFS.

So we did the only sensible thing and sat in the dark having a drink and a chat. Not FFS.

We enjoyed it so much that we're going to do it again. Not FFS.

I could go on but I'll leave it there. I hope you have all had a great week. If any of you have any FFS Friday worthy moments, please tell me all about it in the comments. 
If you'd like to read more whinges, head on over to Sarah and Brad's blog.

Wednesday, 5 February 2014

January Empties

My first empties post for 2014! I'm hoping that 2014 is going to be a great year for empties, I have so many products that I'm determined to use up (or get rid of). I've done pretty well this month, even though I feel like I've barely had time to myself I still managed to finish quite a few full sized products. I'm also working on using up my samples, I have heaps of them and they just sit there. Back when I used to travel a bit they were very handy, but I don't go anywhere now so I may as well use them.

Sanctuary Spa Salt Scrub I'm not overly fond of this as a summer product but it'll be great in winter. It leaves an oily coating over my skin which would be great for winter when I don't want to get cold whilst I'm waiting for my moisturiser to dry. 

Soap and Glory The Breakfast Scrub - Everytime I used this I wanted pancakes because it smells like maple syrup. As usual, Soap and Glory have done a great job with this, it's heavenly.

1 Skin Solution Bath and Shower Crystals - Love, love, love these. I'm working on a full review so keep an eye out for it. 
Johnson's Baby Bath - I was given a little pack of Johnson's products as a baby present, but as I only use natural products on my babies I used it myself. I don't have much to say about it really.

Aveeno Positively Radiant Cleanser - A good cleanser that I'd buy again. It wasn't anything outstanding but it did the job.

Soap and Glory Wash Your Hands of it - Love this, it smells amazing!

L'oreal Casting Creme Gloss - It's a shame they don't sell these separately because I'm sure they'd be really popular. This conditioner makes my hair so soft and I get two to three uses out of it which is a bonus.

L'oreal Revitalift Total Repair BB Cream - Nice but I won't repurchase because it's too dark. Review here.

Neutrogena Oil Free Acne Wash - This makes a nice, gentle face scrub, however I won't purchase a full size as there are other face scrubs that I prefer.

Perfumatory Baked Vanilla Cake perfume - Vanilla and cake, what more is there to say? Actually, there is more. This is the perfect compliment to my Haus of Gloi Vice Pumpkin Butter, together they make me smell edible (which I'm not).

Hurraw! Mint Lip Balm - A nice balm but not one that I love. I'd nearly finished it when Chai got to it and smeared it all over his mouth area. He told me it tasted yummy, haha. 
Palmer's Gentle Facial Cleansing Wipes - Yuck! Even now that the packet is empty I can still smell them. Gross. You can read my full review here

Monday, 3 February 2014

All Mummied Out

I'm so sick of being a parent at the moment. I want a break. I need a break. I just want a few hours where I can be me. I want to go to the toilet without an audience. Have a shower without a child under my feet. Get dressed and put on my make-up at my leisure. I want to eat a meal in peace, whilst it's still warm and eat the whole thing myself without losing half of it to a toddler who a few minutes ago told me he wasn't hungry and didn't want anything to eat and when presented with exactly the same thing that I was eating, refused it.

I want to sit down without having a child climbing on me, sleep alone with no-one kicking me, do the food shopping without two screaming children. I want to clean the house and for it to stay tidy for more than five minutes. I want to do a kickboxing class. I want to study so that I can get a job when the kids are at school. I want to wear clean clothes that aren't infused with vomit, saliva, wee, snot and whatever food the kids have been eating. 

I want to be me again instead of being Mum all the time. 

Priori Gentle Facial Cleanser

I won this in a competition on Primped, put it in the cupboard and forgot that I had it until I ran out of cleanser one day and found it when I was hunting through my products looking for a new cleanser. 

Priori says: Advanced AHA cosmeceuticals. Contains LCA complex (ph correct lactic acid and essential skin vitamin antioxidants A, C, E and pro-A) in a gentle, light lathering cleanser that gently exfoliates the skin, leaving it soft, smoothed and radiant. Gently removes makeup and daily residue. Ideal for all skin types, including the most sensitive. A mild tingling sensation is normal.

I've always been really skeptical about cleansers that contain AHA's in them as I don't see how something that's only on the skin for a few minutes (at most) can have an effect. But what would I know? 
This was a lovely cleanser that I really enjoyed using, however I can't say it was any better than cleansers that I've paid under $20 for. 

Most foaming cleansers are too irritating for me to use, however I didn't find this to be at all irritating, even with daily use. I used it at the end of the day and it did a good job of removing all my makeup. Due to the AHA's I didn't use it on my eyes.

Priori Gentle Facial Cleanser costs $80, however you can purchase it at Adore Beauty for $68.

Ingredients: aqua, sodium lactate, stearyl alcohol, sucrose cocoate, lactic acid, glycerin, cetyl alcohol, glyceryl stearate, ammonium laureth sulfate, phospholipids, tocopherol, ascorbyl palmitate, retinyl palmitate, beta-carotene, butylene glycol, portulaca oleracea extract, allantoin glycyrrhetinic acid, bisabolol, caprylic/capric triglyceride, citrus grandis fruit extract, xanthan gum, disodium edta, phenoxyethanol, ethylhexylglycerin.