Saturday 31 July 2021

Saturday Stories

I've been thinking about cellulite and chest hair lately. Tiger and I were getting ready for the day. I was in the bathroom putting on make-up and Tiger was in the shower. I was looking at him and thinking how unfair it is that men's bodies stay perfect whilst women get cellulite and spider veins.
 
That led to me thinking that my body is perfect, but society wants me to think it's not. There's nothing wrong with my body. It's perfectly normal. 

See, there's a whole (very lucrative) industry created around making women feel bad about cellulite.
Cellulite is normal for women.
 
Why isn't there a whole industry created to make men feel bad about chest hair? Or leg hair? Why are women's bodies shamed and policed when men's bodies aren't? Why are men who play sport allowed to wear shorts and tank tops and women are expected to wear bikini's?

Why do male gymnasts wear shorts and women wear leotards? It's such a ridiculous double standard. 

I'm so proud of all the women who are standing up and saying they've had enough. 
We deserve better and we'll make sure that happens.

Stay strong beautiful women. You're all perfect exactly as you are.



Friday 30 July 2021

FFS Friday - The knowing

Every Friday Tiger has a short day so he picks the boys up from school.
Last Friday as I was saying goodbye to Eljay I reminded him that Daddy would pick him up from school. As I said it I thought "he won't be picking them up this afternoon" but I ignored that thought.
 
Tiger normally calls me when he finishes work. Last Friday he didn't. I was going to call him to make sure that he was picking them up, but again, I didn't follow my instincts so didn't call.   

Just after 3pm he called me. The first thing I said was "How are my boys?"
"I'm good thanks, how are you?"
"I'm fine, how are my boys?"
"What boys?"
"Our boys!"
"Oh fuck!"

Yep, Tiger forgot to pick the kids up from school. 
I was at home, 20 minutes away.

Tiger immediately went into a panic and wouldn't get off the phone so I told him to get off the phone so I could sort it out. I called the school as I was racing to put shoes on and got into the car.
 
Tiger rang me a few minutes later still in panic mode, trying to tell me what to do. FFS.
 
I was already on the way to school by then, I'd spoken to the school and knew that the boys would be safe. 

Still in panic mode, Tiger called and spoke to the boys, but instead of telling them the truth he told them he'd been held up at work. He didn't tell me that he'd lied, so when I got to school I told them the truth.

Thankfully the boys weren't too upset. Eljay was more upset than Chai, but I've promised them that it'll never happen again. 

I was really proud of how they handled it. Eljay waited outside his classroom until Chai got there, then together they went to the carpark. When Chai saw that Tiger's car wasn't there they both went in to the office. 

We've never discussed what to do if there's no-one there to pick them up (because I never thought it'd happen), so I'm really pleased they knew what to do. 

What I don't understand is how on earth Tiger managed to forget them? How is that possible? 
I think about them constantly. Maybe it's me and not him. Maybe other people don't constantly think about their kids? Who knows? I certainly don't. 

That was our excitement for last week. Tiger will never live it down.

Happy Friday beautiful people.

Sunday 25 July 2021

Thoughts of the week

1. Hermes have a beauty line out and the prices are crazy. They want $100 for a lip tint, $105 for a lipstick and $110 for a blush. You have to be joking. They'd want to be amazing for that price but the reviews are bad, really really bad. 
 
2. There's a huge fuss on social media at the moment (and rightly so) as the Norweigan women's beach handball team has been fined $2,400 for wearing bike shorts instead of bikini bottoms. How ridiculous. The men wear shorts and a tank top, however the women are expected to wear bikini's.  
According to the uniform regulations the "athletes’ uniforms and accessories contribute to helping athletes increase their performance as well as remain coherent with the sportive and attractive image of the sport.”
 Right. Because bikini's help women play sport better. I don't think so. 

3. Sending hugs to anyone in lockdown at the moment.
 
4. Priceline's skincare, suncare and tanning sale starts on Tuesday. Perfect timing as I just ran out of my daily sunscreen.
 
5. Whilst sales are fun, remember it's not a bargain if you don't need it.


Friday 23 July 2021

FFS Friday - One day

Hello Friday! How we've missed you!
 
So what's been going on? A large portion of Australia is currently in lockdown so I'd say not much has been going on at all. Here is WA we're fine so far, but you just never know when another snap lockdown will happen. 
 
I don't have a whole lot to complain about today. The boys went back to school so I've had four days of peace. I've started a new thing where the week that the boys go back to school I do what I want (which is usually stay at home). I don't go to the gym, I don't do much housework, I just spend quiet time collecting myself together again. Being an introvert I need the quiet time to gather my sanity again after the craziness of school holidays.
 
This week I had a massage, spent a little time helping out at the school, a little time doing housework, a day watching Virgin River and a bit of time tidying my room. It was peaceful and exactly what I needed after the school holidays.
 
Do you do that? Do you spend time caring for yourself? It's not always easy to do, especially when you have young children. I managed very little soul soothing when the boys were little, it's so much easier now that they go to school.
 
I think we need to look after ourselves now more than ever. The world isn't an easy place at the moment, there's so much stress and anxiety. Things will get better one day, but who knows when that day will be. Let's hope it's soon.
 

Thursday 22 July 2021

Laneige Gummy Bear Lip Glowy Balm


Laneige have really nailed it with their lip products. The Lip Sleeping Mask is a cult favourite for a reason and the Lip Glowy Balms don't get as much hype as they deserve. 
 
Last year they released a Gummy Bear flavour in the US which I really wanted. I was delighted when it finally became available at Sephora in Australia a few weeks ago, so I ordered the Lip Glowy Balm one immediately. I wish I'd ordered the Lip Sleeping Mask at the same time.
 
I'd read that the scent was like grape bubblegum but thankfully that wasn't correct. The scent smells exactly like sweet gummy bear lollies.
 
The colour is a light purple but it applies clear on my lips. In my opinion Lip Glowy Balms are like a non sticky version of Juicy Tubes. 
They're hydrating, glossy and gorgeous. I like that they come in a squeeze tube because it means there aren't any hygiene issues.
 
The only complaint I have is that whilst they smell great, they don't have a flavour. Why would you make something smell so amazing and not taste good too? Makes no sense to me. 
 
I purchased my Lip Glowy Balm for $23 from Sephora. 
 
Have you tried Lip Glowy Balms?
 

Tuesday 20 July 2021

Project Life Detox?

Lately I've been thinking about excess and the lessons that I'm teaching my kids. 
It's no secret that I have way too much make-up. Tiger also has way too much of almost everything. 
The boys have too many toys, Eljay has too many clothes. Our house is filled with too much stuff.
Everywhere I look I see excess.
 
I've been making a conscious effort to reduce our excess and am not having much success, mainly because I just haven't had the head space to put in a proper effort.
 
I've worried about what our total oversupply is teaching the boys, and my worries were confirmed last week when I had a chat with Eljay. He wanted to buy a new aftershave. He already has several and barely uses them, so I asked him why he wanted a new one and he said that he just wanted to have it.
 
We had a discussion about how having too many things isn't good, that I'm trying to get rid of all the things we have that we don't need and how everything we have cost us time and money. I also told him that when you don't waste money on things you don't need you don't have to work as much, and that everything he could see was the result of time spent at work, away from the family. 
 
Years ago, rather ambitiously, I started Project Life Detox. It failed miserably because I was home schooling the boys so didn't have the time or energy to sort out my life. 
I don't want to set myself up to fail again, however I'm thinking it's time for another Project Life Detox. 
 
I have no idea how successful I'll be, but a little bit of progress is better than no progress. If I put in a little bit of time every day, eventually I will have made a big difference. 
 
At this stage I don't even know where I'm going to start. I'm thinking I'll start with the areas that I spend the most time in, which is our main living area and bedroom. 
Once I've got one area sorted then I'll move on to the next area. 
It might take a long time but I will get there. 
 
 
  

Sunday 18 July 2021

Thoughts of the week

1. Throughout Covid I've been happy with how our premier has handled things but his latest move seems grossly unfair. He's closed the boarder to NSW which is fine, but any WA residents in NSW can only return home if they have extenuating circumstances. Not allowing people to come home just isn't right.
 
2. I really feel for everyone who is stuck overseas and in NSW and unable to come home.
 
3. I ordered the Gummy Bear flavour of the Laneige Glossy Lip Balm and can't wait for it to arrive.
 
4. Speaking of that, Sephora now have free shipping for orders $25 and over.
 
5. I've finally got myself a Bosu ball. I've been looking for one for months now and one finally came up on Facebook Marketplace. I should have known that the boys would immediately claim it as a play toy, haha.

Saturday 17 July 2021

Saturday Stories - Becoming Mum

One of my friends daughters recently had a baby and it got me thinking about the motherhood myth that we're all sold. We're told that having a baby will be amazing, we'll fall instantly in love with the baby, we'll be happy, excited and everything will be wonderful. We're expected to look after the baby, look perfectly put together, keep the house clean, fit back into our pre baby clothes, have a meal ready for our partner when they get home and just be all round perfect. When it doesn't happen like that we think something's wrong and that we're not coping.  
 
Those expectations are unrealistic and just set us up for failure. The reality is totally different. 
 
They say you'll get a huge rush of love the second you see your baby, you'll instinctively recognise it, mother nature will take over so you'll just know how to look after your baby and you'll know what it's cries mean. None of those things were true for me. 
I couldn't tell my babies cries from any other children, if you'd put them in a line up I couldn't have picked my child, I didn't get a rush of love the second I saw them and the only way I figured out my babies cries was from watching Dunstans Baby Language. 

Giving birth for the first time is tough, exhausting and often quite scary. Once it's finally over we're too tired to be thrilled about our beautiful bundle of joy. We're sore, scared, totally exhausted, we have no idea what we're doing and we're worried that there's something wrong because of instead of being ecstatic we're numb. 
 
When I had Chai I felt empty, like I'd lost something. I wasn't happy, I wasn't excited, I was nothing. A week after I had him a friend came to visit. She asked me how I felt when I saw him and I just looked at her. She told me it'd been the same for her, she saw her baby and felt nothing. That helped because she was a brilliant mother, so I realised that I wasn't broken. 
 
Expecting someone to go through an experience that's like running a marathon you have no way to prepare for and then feel ecstatic is just ridiculous. Stop putting that pressure on women. Stop telling them it's going to be the best experience of their lives. Stop making them feel bad for not instantly falling in love with their baby.
 
I have a theory. I think that when we get pregnant we love the baby straight away, so when we give birth some of us don't get that rush of love because we're already in love with the baby. It's not that we aren't bonding with the baby, we're already bonded. 
 
The whole bonding with the baby seems pretty silly to me. It's a tiny baby, you love it, you look after it, yet there's all this pressure on you to bond with the baby. How the hell are you supposed to do that? It's a tiny creature that's been reliant on you for it's survival for 9 months, you're already bonded.

It's difficult to feel happy when you're exhausted, in pain from the birth, responsible for looking after another human, learning how to breastfeed, you've got fluid leaking from your boobs and your vagina, you can't sit without pain, your boobs hurt and everyone keeps on coming in to goo over the baby, prod you and ask if you've done a poo today.

On top of all that, the transition to motherhood isn't easy. You go from just looking after yourself to being responsible for the life of someone else. All of a sudden it's like you don't exist and all anyone cares about is the child. No-one asks how the Mum is, it's all about the baby. The focus should be on Mum. Happy Mum, happy baby.
 
As if that wasn't enough, becoming a Mum can bring back issues you had with your Mum that you thought you'd resolved so you're also dealing with that. 
 
Everything is Mum's fault. If the baby isn't putting on enough weight, that's Mum's fault. If the baby doesn't sleep through the night, that's Mum's fault. Everyone has an opinion about how she should be looking after her baby and it's infuriating. I recall telling hubby one day that I didn't "give a flying f@ck what the boys at work had to say, if they're such experts they can come and raise the f@cking baby!" 

Whilst we're talking about baby sleeping through the night, some babies don't. I know adults who don't sleep through the night so expecting a baby to is stupid. 

Here's what I think. 
Do what feels right for you. 
It's okay if you feel numb, you've been through a huge, life changing event. It'll take time to feel normal again and that's okay. 
For the first few months don't try to do anything other than look after yourself and the baby. Stay in your pj's, don't cook, don't clean, just look after you and the bub. If you want to stay in bed all day, stay in bed all day. 
Take the pressure off and let yourself ease into motherhood. It takes time to adjust. The birth of the mother is just as important as the birth of the child. Your whole life has changed, so ease into it gently. 
Know that whilst it's a difficult adjustment you can do it and everything is going to be okay. 
Don't worry about trying to get back to your pre baby shape, that'll happen in it's own good time. 
Accept help when you need it. 
Know that the second time around is so much easier. 
Most importantly, always remember that you're a wonderful Mum.

Friday 16 July 2021

FFS Friday - Dark

Hello beautiful people! How are you all? I hope you've had a good week. 
You know what I've realised lately? Most of us are struggling. Not just a little bit, a lot. We're all just barely keeping our heads above water. 
 
The last few years have been challenging for the whole world. We all need a group hug.
 
This is the last week of the school holidays here in WA. It's been a trying few weeks because the we've had wonderful wet, windy winter weather which I love but it's not great for Chai. He doesn't cope well with being stuck inside, he needs to run. 
I've got us out of the house as often as possible, but it hasn't been enough so we've all suffered. When Chai isn't happy the whole family isn't happy. 
 
I really can't be bothered complaining about that though. It's tough but that's just the way it is.
 
Poor Melbourne and Sydney are in lockdown again. I think these constant lockdowns are going to cause a huge surge in mental health issues. Being alone, isolated and scared isn't good for anyone. Not being able to see friends and family is really difficult. 
 
With everyone struggling, we need to reduce our expectations. We seem to think that everyone else is doing okay, but they truly aren't. Just because people don't talk about things doesn't mean they aren't struggling. If you think about it, in your average conversation with people they really don't have the time to tell you what's really going on. Those conversations take time.
It's not that we're being dishonest, it's just that when you've only got a few minutes to chat you can't get into the real stuff. 
 
I'm treating everyone as if they're struggling, lowering my expectations and trying to be gentle with myself and everyone else.  
  
I hope you are all doing as well as you possibly can. If things are tough, I hope there are a few glimmers of light in your day. 
 

Tuesday 13 July 2021

The Body Shop Fresh Raspberry Shower Gel

 
The Body Shop have two limited edition ranges out at the moment, Cool Daisy and Fresh Raspberry. I headed in store to check them out, thinking I'd buy the Daisy scent. Then I sniffed them both and the Fresh Raspberry came home with me. It smells amazing!
 
Funnily enough, it smells exactly like real, fresh raspberries. It's got the sweetness with that hint of tartness that raspberries have. Often raspberry scents are all sweet and no tartness, this one really nails it. 
 
The range consists of a shower gel, whipped body butter, gel body scrub and hydrating body mist. I'm tempted to get one of each but we all know that I don't need any more body products. 
 
I wish they'd release lip butters in the limited edition scents, their lip butters are so good.
 
Did you pick up any of the Fresh Raspberry or Cool Daisy range?
 

Monday 5 July 2021

April Empties

Now that April was three months ago, it's high time I posted about my empties. I have a huge pile of products to talk about this month so lets get started. Also, since I'm a few months late there will be a May and June empties post coming soon too.
 
Drunk Elephant Pekee and Juju Bars
I've had these sitting in my cupboard for ages. Whilst I love the idea of a plastic free cleanser, the reality isn't so great. If it was just me and Tiger who used our bathroom there wouldn't be a problem, but since the boys also use our bathroom water gets everywhere so keeping the bars dry between uses is really difficult.
Aside from that, I quite liked both these bars. One has little exfoliating particles in it so is really good for removing make-up and the other one is a gentle morning cleanser. 
 
Youth to the People Superfood Air Whip Moisture Cream
 With the name Air Whip I was expecting a very light, fluffy moisturiser. This is not a light fluffy moisturiser. It's lovely and hydrating, I'd happily repurchase it again. My winter dry skin really enjoyed it. 

Dearest Lips Balms
My love for Dearest Lips balms knows no end. These tubes ended up in my compost, isn't that great! They're a gorgeous, hydrating formula and fully compostible. Dearest Lips balms will be a constant repurchase.
 
Olay Regenerist Whip Face Moisturiser
You know those products that do the job but you don't love them? Olay Whip falls into that category. It does the trick but it's not spectacular.
 
Truri Beauty HVC Serum
If I hadn't been sent the gorgeous HVC serum to review I wouldn't have known how amazing it is. I loved what this did for my skin and as soon as funds allow I'll be purchasing a bottle. One bottle lasts at least six months with daily use which means it's very reasonably priced. I loved that I could use this serum no matter how irritated my skin got. I used it after derma rolling and when I had allergy rashes without any irritation. 
 
Embryolisse Lait Cream Confort and Gloss
I can see why this is such a cult product. I use it as a cleanser, moisturiser and primer. You wouldn't think one product could be good for all those things, but it really is. Next time I'm going to get a larger tube so that it lasts longer. 
I didn't particularly like the gloss, it was quite gloopy and didn't taste very good, so I wouldn't get the one with a gloss on it again. 
 
La Roche-Posay Anthelios Sunscreen
I don't need to say anything about this, it's my holy grail sunscreen and I'm sure you all know that. 
 
Alpha-H Balancing Cleanser
Whenever a product has balancing in the name I assume it's going to be too harsh for me, so I was very surprised at how much I loved this cleanser. It didn't irritate my skin or eyes and did a great job of removing my makeup. I'd happily repurchase. 
 
BotaniLIFT by Skinn  
This is another lovely product I wouldn't have tried if it hadn't been sent to me. 
I loved what this did to my skin, it felt firmer and looked healthier after only a few uses. I need to get another bottle.
 

 
MooGoo Natural Full Cream Moisturiser
Chai uses this on his rashes and it works so well. It's one of the few creams that doesn't irritate when his rashes are really inflamed. 
 
Kosas Sport Chemistry Deodorant 
When I first got this I really liked it. I love the roller ball and how easy it is to use. By the time I was getting to the end of the tube I found it wasn't as effective, which is strange because the weather is cooler so I was sweating less. It's not one that I'll repurchase anytime in the near future. 
 
L'Occitane Herbae Perfume 
It's true love. If I had to pick a top ten favourites list Herbae would be on it. The scent is fresh, green and gorgeous. I really want a full sized bottle. 
 
Sol de Janeiro Brazilian Bum Bum Cream
It's no secret how much I love my bum bum cream, purely because it smells amazing. Thankfully I have the body spray now so I can still get my scent fix.

 
Cremorlab Aqua Tank Water-full Mask
Whilst I enjoyed them they aren't my favourite Cremorlab masks. I prefer the Marine Hyaluronic Revital Masks.
 
Wrinkles Schminkles Facial Sheet Mask
I can't remember what I thought of this so clearly it wasn't amazing. 
 
Chest Pad
After using Wrinkles Schminkles for years, I purchased some silicone chest pads from ebay and I'll never go back. I got five pads for $25. 1 Wrinkles Schminkles pad costs $42.
The ebay pads last me 4 weeks, which is the same as the Wrinkles Schminkle pad.
Quality wise Wrinkles Schminkles is a lot better made. The edges are lower so they don't catch on anything and the pads feel a lot sturdier. 
Performance wise they're exactly the same.  
I'll be sticking with my ebay pads from now on.

 
Organic Care Kids 3in1 Popcorn Shampoo and Body Wash 
We all love our popcorn shower gel. I buy a few bottles with every Chemist Warehouse order. It smells like caramel.
 
BX Earth Bit of a Soft Touch Shower Gel
BX Earth and Organic Care are the only two shower gels the boys use. They're both natural, gentle and reasonably priced. This is another product I get with every Chemist Warehouse order. 
 
The Body Shop Winter Jasmine Shower Gel
I received this as part of a secret santa exchange and it was lovely. I love floral scents, especially Jasmine. TBS shower gels are gorgeous, I always have one in my shower. 
 
Dr Bronners 18 in 1 Hemp Earl Grey Pure Castille Soap
I didn't like this as much as I thought I would, the scent wasn't what I expected. Having said that, I still used it up. Dr Bronners soaps are lovely, I'm using the Cherry Blossom one now.

 
Hask Argan Oil Conditioner
I liked this but it wasn't amazing so I wouldn't rush out to repurchase. 

Batiste Hairspray
It's hairspray, not much else to say.

Herbal Essences Moroccan Conditioner
I used this to delouse our hair. Nits are the worst. The boys liked this one because it smlls nice.

OGX Orchid Oil Conditioner
Chai used this in his hair and loved it. It made his hair feel very soft and smell lovely. 

Natures Organics Blueberry and Coconut Conditioner
Out of all the conditioners we use to get rid of nits, this range is my favourite because the scents are lovely.

 
Now for the tosses.
The Ultra Violette, Bobbi Brown, Girligo and Burt's Bees BB Cream are all expired.

The Glam Glow masks didn't work for me. 
The MCo Brow set and Blossom Scented lip gloss were both awful.

Watch out for my May empties coming in a few days.
 
 

Sunday 4 July 2021

Thoughts of the week

1. What's with all the vaccine hatred and abuse? People who've been vaccinated are abusing those who haven't, people who haven't been vaccinated aren abusing those who have. What's the point? If you want to get vaccinated, get vaccinated. If you don't want to get vaccinated, don't. Simple.

2. Jimmy Barnes has a new album out and it's great!

3. School holidays have started here in WA. Keeping Chai entertained is going to be difficult.

4. Lanolips have released a Coconutter Lanostick balm and we all need it.

5. Flower Beauty is currently 40% off at Chemist Warehouse. Time to stock up.

Friday 2 July 2021

Lately

I've been quiet here lately. It's just been all too much. There's so much to do and I'm getting nothing done at all.

Chai's having suicidal thoughts again. I feel so helpless. We have no paediatrician so medication isn't an option and I don't know what else to do. 
He's seeing his psych in a few weeks but that's not a quick fix. 

Ten year olds should not be thinking about suicide. There's something seriously wrong when a little boy is thinking about ending his life. 

The lack of support is shocking. I told his Dr and all she said was "that's really rough". Yep, sure is.

The safest and most commonly prescribed anti anxiety medication for children is one that's most common side affect in children under 12 is suicidal tendencies. Great. So the solution to suicidal thoughts is likely to cause suicidal thoughts. Helpful. 

Added to that, Chai's behaviour lately has been awful. He's rude, abusive and not at all fun to be around. 

I don't want to do this anymore. 
I don't want to lie in bed every night wondering how the hell I'm supposed to help my child. 
I don't want to wake up every hour having a panic attack at the thought of losing my baby. 
I don't want to be abused every day.
I don't want to have a child in my room or bed every single night.
I don't want to worry about the mental health of my youngest child because he's constantly mistreated by his brother. 
I don't want to feel like I'm spiralling out of control.
I don't want to feel constantly stressed.

I just want a normal, happy life. Surely that's not too much to ask?