Friday, 30 November 2018

FFS Friday - I'm back, again.

Hello! I'm back after another unplanned hiatus. November has been a write off for me blog wise. Hopefully all the drama is over now and I'll be back to normal posting. 

The last few weeks have been a blur. Chai got sick and after being misdiagnosed by three different Dr's, five days later we finally got the right diagnosis and I had to race him to Perth for emergency surgery. It was awful.

My Mum and Step Dad had just returned from a five week vacation, they'd got back home at 2am, I called at 1pm asking Mum to come to the hospital with me. 

Tiger flew home from work but didn't make it before Chai went into surgery, so it was very lucky that Mum was with me, because I needed someone to stay with Eljay.

Chai is okay, the surgery went well and he's on the mend now. We're all hoping there are no long term effects from him being undiagnosed for five days, but that's just something we have to wait and see. 

Parenting can be so very stressful. Sometimes I wonder where all the stress goes. When I was in the Dr's surgery being told that Chai had to have surgery, I was so, so stressed. I wanted to cry but had to hold it together for Chai and Eljay. The whole time I was packing our stuff and driving to Perth I was doing my best to be calm and happy so the kids stayed calm, whilst inside I was in total panic mode.

What happens to all those suppressed emotions? There are days I feel like I'm going to explode, but of course that never happens. By the time it gets to a place where I can let out all the emotions, the situation has resolved and I'm over it. 

Suppressing emotions isn't healthy, but as a parent sometimes it's just the way it has to be. Perhaps one day I'll explode and all that will be left of me is a huge pile of glitter. 


Sunday, 18 November 2018

Thoughts of the week

1. There are so many great holiday sets available at the moment, what have you all bought? I've restrained myself so far, but will probably give in to temptation the next time I have a stressful day.

2. Why are so many tv shows really dark now? I like fun, light hearted shows. I don't watch tv when Tiger is away, when he's home we like to watch something together. We're struggling to find anything. We used to watch Arrow and Riverdale, but they both got too dark and depressing. Suggestions?

3. Why do people love to argue with strangers online? I don't understand. It's okay if someone has a different opinion to you.

4. You know what I really don't like? When you're browsing or shopping online and you keep on getting those pop ups that tell you what someone just bought. I don't give a flying fart what someone else just bought. It's a great way to quickly lose a customer, because every time I'm on a site with those pop ups I leave and shop elsewhere.

5. It's great that Trolley Man tried to help the police during the Melbourne attack, but I really don't think he was helping. Instead of focusing on their job, the police also had to worry about Trolley Man and try to ensure he was safe, instead of being able to subdue the crim.
It's great that people want to help, but sometimes the professionals just need to be left to do their job. 

Friday, 16 November 2018

FFS Friday - Still complaining

After Mondays rant you might have thought that I was out of things to whinge about. I'm not. 

There's nothing like a family holiday to make you feel like you're a crap parent. I see all these photos of families having wonderful holidays, happy, parents, happy kids. 
Then there's us. We go on holiday and my kids spend the whole time whinging, asking for things, complaining about having to walk so far and being totally ungrateful.

Despite us doing our best to raise the boys well, not spoil them, teach them manners and make sure they turn into decent people, there are times I feel like we're failing dismally.  

Chai's sensory issues add a whole other set of problems. 
At home it's easy to forget that he's not just a normal little boy. Other than a few clothing or noise related meltdowns here and there, he's just a regular kid. Take him out of his comfort zone and everything comes to the surface. What might not bother him at home is a huge issue when we're on holidays. 

Noise sends him into a foetal position on the ground with his hands over his ears, not being able to see me has him calling out for me in a panicked voice, having to wear shoes causes a meltdown, not having the particular pair of shorts that he wants to wear causes another meltdown. Thinking that he's upset Tiger or I makes him think he's ruined everything and he's an awful person, people walking close behind startle him, men talking in a foreign language have him jumping on me in fear, the list goes on. 

I'm more aware of and attuned to the signs of Chai being in distress, so I stay close and watch him carefully, ready to act before a meltdown starts. It's exhausting. I'm emotionally drained and just want to go home. Tiger gets frustrated because Chai won't snap out of it (he can't!) 

It's times like this I'm reminded of the extra challenges that my boy faces and my heart breaks for him. Whilst we've never told him that he has any issues, he has heard the word sensory so asks about it. I've told him that we all have a sensory profile and different things irritate us. He wants to know why these things bother him so much. So far I've managed to convince him that he's just like everyone else, I'm not sure how much longer he'll believe me. 

I wish my baby didn't have to deal with these challenges and he could be just like everyone else. Our life would be so different without sensory processing disorder.

The night before we came home we went out for dinner. As we were waiting for our meals to arrive a beautiful family walked past. The parents were walking in front, talking and  holding hands. They wore nice looking casual clothes and relaxed, happy smiles. Just behind them were their two daughters in gorgeous matching outfits, with cute handbags, sparkly shoes and their hair in pigtails. They were happily walking along, not complaining, just walking along with their parents. 

Meanwhile there's me watching them. I'm exhausted, weeing myself every time I cough (which is approximately every ten minutes), my hair is a mess, my t-shirt has a mark on it from Chai wiping his mouth on me and there's another mark on my pants from Eljay's hands. Chai is running around chasing an Ibis and Eljay is kicking the table because it makes a really loud noise. I'm at one end of the table, Tiger is at the other end and we can't talk because the boys are making too much noise. 

I looked at that family and thought about how different my life could have been. Despite how messy, stressful and difficult as my life is, I'm grateful for my beautiful family and wouldn't change it for a second. 

Actually, that's not true, I would change the weeing myself issue.

Wednesday, 14 November 2018

October empties

Now that I'm back from my unplanned hiatus, it's time to talk empties. I had a pretty good month for empties, all of my skincare ran out at the same time, which was both great and very annoying!

L'oreal Botanicals Lavender Conditioning Balm
This is such a gorgeous range, one that I'll happily repurchase. The lavender scent is lovely.

L'oreal Elvive Instant Miracle
I'm yet to find a hair mask that I think is amazing. This one works well, it hydrates and leaves my hair feeling soft, which is exactly what you expect from an intensive hydrating mask. 

Batiste Blush Dry Shampoo
There's not much to say about Batiste that hasn't already been said. This is a cult favourite for a reason, I always have it in my collection.

BX Earth A Bit of a Soft Touch Shower Gel
If you have yet to try BX shower gels, you are missing out. They're natural, Australian owned and made and super cheap. I picked this one up from Chemist Warehouse for $5, which is such great value! The scent is beautiful and as it's so cheap I don't mind that the boys waste most of it!

Biologica Citrus Rose Hand and Body Wash
The reason I don't write about hand washes is because they are boring. Really boring. Plus, there's not much to say about them. This one smells lovely and didn't dry out my hands. I don't remember where I bought it, but I'd happily buy it again. 

Black Chicken Barrier Booster Deodorant Paste
There are four natural deodorants that work for me, this is one of them. It doesn't irritate sensitive pits, contains no bi-carb soda and keeps me odour free all day. 

The Body Shop Vanilla Brulee Bath Jelly
I don't know why I keep buying bath products when I don't take baths. Silly. 
I purchased this from The Body Shop, it was one of their christmas releases a few years ago. The scent is beautiful, I wish they'd make other products with the same scent. I used this as a shower gel, it felt lovely and left me smelling edible. 

Kosmea Rose Hand Cream
I'm a sucker for anything rose scented so absolutely loved this hand cream. It smells amazing and kept my hands feeling soft. I used this at night, however it'd be fine to use during the day as it absorbs quickly and doesn't leave a greasy residue.

Bobbi Brown Hydrating Face Cream
Hydrating Face Cream is exactly what I needed throughout winter. My skin has felt a lot drier since this ran out, I really need to repurchase it! Despite being super hydrating, it absorbs quickly and works well under make-up. 

Andalou Naturals Meyer Lemon + C Creamy Cleanser
I'm always sceptical of cleansers that say they'll brighten the complexion, I don't believe they're on your skin long enough to have an effect, but then again, what would I know?
Having said that, this cleanser did not brighten my skin tone. It was pleasant to use, didn't sting my eyes and removed my make-up. I like that it comes with a pump, it's so much easier! I'd happily purchase this again next time it's on sale at Priceline. 

Model Co Cream Cleanser
I love Model Co's cream cleanser. It's regularly on sale for $5, so I always grab a few tubes. It's super gentle, easily removes make-up and doesn't irritate my eyes. 

Raww Smooth ME Fine Line Serum
I'm starting to build up quite a collection of Raww products, it's such a lovely brand. If you aren't a fan of scented products, I'd steer clear, however if you like products that smell great, check them out.
I really enjoyed the Fine Line Serum, it smells amazing, absorbs quickly and kept my skin feeling soft and looking smooth.

Clarins Skin Beauty Repair Concentrate
If you have sensitive skin, get yourself a bottle of Skin Beauty Repair Concentrate. It's expensive, but worth every cent. I use mine in winter when my skin is feeling dry, tight and irritated, it calms things down and my skin is back to normal within a week. I also use it when I'm suffering from allergies. This is one of those products that I always have in my collection. 

Clarins HydraQuench Intensive Serum
For something that feels like water, this is amazingly effective. I've gone through about four bottles so far and am about to purchase another bottle, because my skin has been very dry since I ran out. 

Skin Republic Brightening Eye Mask
I love the Skin Republic eye masks, however I prefer the under eye gel ones. This one is nice, but I didn't find it as effective as the gel ones are, so I won't repurchase.  

Model Co Instant Hydro-Glow Miracle Mask
Model Co products have been on sale all over the place lately, I picked this mask up for $2. At that price I figured I had nothing to lose. It's an interesting mask, it comes with a cleanser and serum that you use first, then you put the mask on. They say that the serum intensifies the effect of the mask. 
I didn't notice any glow or miracles, but it was pleasant to use, it left my skin feeling soft and hydrated. 

Addition Studio Australian Native Body Scrub
One day I will get clever and stop buying scrubs that aren't coffee, salt or sugar. I never like them. This one was particularly bad. It's very wet, hard to pick up and dissolves almost instantly. 

Mecca Max Lip Mask
If you're after a totally ineffective lip mask, this one is for you. If you want one that actually does something, steer clear. I had to lie down whilst I had this on because it slips all over the place, it provided no hydration and was a waste of time. I can see why it gets such bad reviews on Mecca's website. 

Dr LeWinn's Ultra R4 Collagen Firming Face mask
The trouble with face masks is that you really need to use them more than once to form an opinion. I did like this mask, next time Dr LeWinn's is on sale I'll buy more so that I can test them out further. 

Bean Body Coffee Bean Scrub
What's not to love about a good coffee scrub? They're so great, I love the grains, the coffee smell and how smooth they leave my skin. This one had a gorgeous coffee coco berry scent, it's one I'll definitely purchase again.
When I purchased this I also got their lip balm, it's amazing!

Garnier Skin Active Hydra Bomb Tissue Mask
Next time these are on sale, grab a few. They're great, cheap hydrating masks that are ideal for dry, parched skin. 

100% Pure Ginseng Collagen Boost Face Mask
I had this on for about three minutes then had to remove it because it was stinging so badly.


After sticking to the same products every day for the last few months, I realised that I need to start going through my Use it or Lose it pile. Most of these products have now been sent to a better home.

Dishonourable mention goes to the RMS lipstick. I really wanted to love it, but it's one of the worst lipsticks I've ever tried. It drags across my lips and is awful to apply. Such a disappointment. I should have returned it to Mecca, not sure why I didn't. 

Monday, 12 November 2018

FFS Friday - Did you miss me?

After an unplanned hiatus I'm back! It's been a while! How are you? What's been happening?
What better post to come back with than every ones favourite, FFS Friday (yes, I'm aware it's not Friday).

Where have I been? Well let me tell you.

The boys got sick. When I say sick, I mean really, really sick. Sicker than they've ever been in their lives. 
Whilst being sick isn't great, they timed it perfectly. 

Chai got sick at 6pm, with gastro. Why do kids always get gastro at night time? My boys have only ever gotten gastro at night, ensuring that no-one gets any sleep. Chai started vomiting at 6pm, poor little man couldn't even keep down water. Thankfully Tiger was home, so we decided that I'd sleep in Chai's bed and Eljay would sleep in our bed with Tiger. 

I was up and down with Chai vomiting. To add to the fun, at 11pm Eljay started vomiting. He woke up as the vomiting started so didn't make it to the edge of the bed. Between both boys we changed the sheets four times that night and we were up over ten times. Very little sleep occurred.

Now you may be wondering why I say their illness was well timed. Because Tiger was home. They got sick the night before he flew out. It meant that the night both boys were vomiting, I didn't have to deal with it on my own. 

Tiger left for work the next day, we were both exhausted. The boys still couldn't even keep down water, so I set them up on the couch and the poor little mites slept all day. By that evening they'd stopped vomiting and could drink water. They were burning up, one minute they'd be hot the next they'd be shivering. 

For two days they just slept. They'd wake up, I'd carry them to the toilet then they'd go back to sleep. I was madly dosing myself up on every immune tonic I could find, hoping that I didn't get sick too. By the third day their fevers were easing but they still weren't eating, they had no energy and they couldn't sit up. I was optimistically hoping that I had avoided the germs, but I hoped in vain. I was sitting on the lounge suite cuddling the boys on the afternoon of the third day when I started shaking uncontrollably with a fever. Thankfully I didn't get the vomiting part, just the fever, no energy, feeling like death part.

On the fourth day the boys were still really sick (as was I) so I took them to the Dr who told me that it was just a virus. That was good news because it'd taken all my energy to drive us to the Dr and there's no way I could have made it to the chemist if they needed antibiotics.

Day five was the first time they tried eating, they had two strawberries and a few blueberries but that was all they could handle. 

It wasn't until day seven that they could sit up. Being sick all at the same time worked out well because we just lay on the couch unable to do anything. Thankfully none of us had an appetite, there's no way I could have prepared a meal. I did do an online shop, but it's so difficult to find healthy pre-prepared meals that kids will eat!

All up we were sick for two weeks. The whole time Tiger was away we were sick. Whilst that wasn't great, it meant that when he got home we were well rested, usually he gets home and I'm an exhausted mess.

The day after Tiger got home we went on holidays. I was still recovering (and still am now, I can't get rid of the cough, it just won't go away) but again, that worked quite well because it meant we were forced to relax.

It's been a while since we've had a family holiday so I'd forgotten how difficult it is for Chai to cope with a change of routine. For the first four days his anxiety was through the roof. He was so difficult to deal with. The poor little mite was trying his best (and doing a bloody brilliant job) of controlling himself, but it was a huge struggle for him. I hate seeing my baby in that state. Tiger does not cope with Chai when he's like that, so it's left for me to deal with. 

I'm amazed how how emotionally mature Chai is and how strong his will. For a seven year old he coped really well, he knew his anxiety/spd was causing issues and he tried so very hard. At one stage he was shaking with the effort of controlling himself so that he didn't explode, but he did it! I was so very proud of him this whole trip.  

Chai's struggles meant that the first four days were tough, really tough. I was exhausted from dealing with Chai and just wanted to go home. Thankfully after day four things got better and he coped a lot better. He was still super anxious but he wasn't having meltdowns all day.

We managed to relax and enjoy our holiday, the boys did a lot of swimming, we went to a wildlife park, did a little bit of shopping and a whole lot of relaxing. 

I went to Sephora for my first time and was sorely disappointed. The Pacific Fair store was out of stock of so many things that I wanted. We'd budgeted for me to spend around $500, I spent $97. Everything that I wanted to look at was out of stock, a lot of the displays were more than half empty. They had a big, unfriendly security guard stalking around the store. I don't know why they bothered because there was no stock to steal. I thought the online store was bad for having so many products out of stock, but they have way more stock available than Pacific Fair did!

Overall the holiday was a success. We got home yesterday and now I'm busily doing all the fun post holiday washing. I think I have about 300 loads to do.

One lovely thing that has occurred since my illness is that I now wee myself every time I cough. Considering I'm still doing my best to cough up a lung, that's a lot of wee. Fun times. Luckily I'm starting at the gym in a few weeks, so I'll be focusing on my pelvic floor exercises!

That's the end of my whinge/overshare for today, back to regular posts as soon as I escape from Mt Washmore.