Hello beautiful people. I haven't been around much. We all had covid and since we got out of iso I've been working quite a lot. It's been great. I really enjoy working.
Tuesday I had the day off. I took the boys to school, did some running around in town then on the way home I decided to go visit a friend. I had lots of things to do at home, but it's been a while since I've seen this friend and I've felt bad about not making time for her. She's older so whilst I'm with her I don't check my phone, it's just polite not to. As I was sitting there I felt my watch buzz but thought nothing of it. When I got into the car and checked my messages I went straight in to panic mode.
There was a message saying Chai wasn't at school. I'd dropped him off two hours earlier.
I am usually calm and rational but when it comes to my boys all rational thought goes out the window. I immediately thought the worst and came to the only logical conclusion, he'd been kidnapped. There's no way Chai would voluntarily leave the school grounds. His teacher is really good and doesn't mark kids as absent when they're at school so therefore he must have been kidnapped.
I started driving towards the school and called them. The person who answered the phone isn't one that I know well, so she had no idea I was in major panic mode. If it'd been one of the staff who know me well they would have know how I'd react to that message, but she had no idea. She told me that he was definitely marked as absent so they'd have to do a physical check to make sure he was there.
Waiting for her to call me back felt like it took hours. In reality it took around three minutes. As I was waiting and driving I was trying to figure out how I'd find my baby and if I'd have to kill the person/people who'd taken him in order to retrieve him. When I was almost at school I got the phone call confirming that he was present and safe. Cue the tears of relief.
Luckily the phone call came through before I got to school, I would have raced in there like a mad woman searching for my baby. Chai would have been mortified.
I went home, made a coffee and messaged my friends to help calm me down.
I felt sick for the rest of the day. Just the thought of anything happening to one of my boys makes me so upset. I don't know how I'd cope if anything happened to one of them. I expect that I probably wouldn't cope at all.
What is it about our babies that makes us go into totally irrational beast mode? Logic goes out the window and fear takes over. I suppose that's how kids get to be adults, because they have mothers who will do whatever they have to in order to keep them safe.
It got me thinking how grateful I am to have first world problems. I can only imagine the heartache of those mothers in war zones or oppressive countries. I'm very fortunate that my only worry is my child accidentally being marked absent from school.
Have a lovely weekend beautiful people.
