Thursday 31 December 2020

2020 Happenings

I started this post on the 15th of December 2019 when I got the brilliant idea to write down things that happened through the year so that I could look back on them at the end of 2020. Clever me.
Then COVID happened and everything slowed right down. But that's okay.

January 
We watched pole vaulting live. It was really great to watch, I can't wait to see it again next year (if it's on). 
 
February 
I finally had my ankle surgery. The road to recovery is long and painful, but I'm getting there. 
 
March 
The world went crazy and we went into lock down. 
Chai turned nine on the 9th.
Tiger finished FIFO on the 17th. 
Who would have thought we'd all be staying home for five months? 
 
April to July were quiet, very quiet. We stayed at home and did very little. It was quite nice hibernating in our own little cocoon, safe and warm at home. 
 
August
Eljay turned 7 on the 2nd.
 
Tiger started working locally mid way through August and our FIFO years were officially over.  

We sold my car and paid off two credit cards. Despite the challenges we've reduced quite a bit of debt this year.  
 
September
The boys started school! Eljay was full time straight away and Chai did a gradual start until October when he went full time. 

December
The boys went to their school disco and both of them had a great time. 
 
Eljay had his first play date! It might not seem like a big deal but for a quiet introvert it's a huge thing. In the past we've only caught up with Chai's friends, so it's really lovely that Eljay now has his own friends.
 
Chai had an ASD assessment. We're still waiting on the results. 

For us COVID has been a blessing. It's helped us realise what is important to us. 
Tiger is home.
We now have a weekly Zoom call with Mum's side of the family. I get to see my relatives weekly, whereas before I'd only see them every few years.

We've also started making sure to pop in on one of our family friends. She's alone so we make sure that we stay in touch and visit her every few weeks so that she knows she has support. 
 
My BFF and I make sure to see each other at least fortnightly. We're both lazy and secure in our friendship so used to go ages without talking because we were both busy. We don't let that happen now. I've really enjoyed spending more time with her. 
 
It's probably the only time that we'll get to have a five month holiday together. That's what lockdown meant to us, five months spent together, with our babies at home. It had it's tough moments but overall I loved it. 
 
Whilst 2020 was a rough year for a lot of people, for us it was a wonderful year and I'm so grateful for the opportunities and experiences we had. 

Wednesday 30 December 2020

December Empties

The end of the year is nearly here so it's time for my December empties. The empties are a little light on however there are quite a few tosses.

Ombra Daily Defence
Thanks to the super cheap price this has been my go to body sunscreen. I originally bought it to use on my face but it irritates my eyes. Hubby likes to use it on his head (he's bald) and because it's so cheap I don't mind how fast we go through the tubes. 

Clarins Recharge Night Mask
Whilst I liked how rich and hydrating this felt, it made my skin quite sensitive so it's not something I'd purchase. 

Botani Olive Skin Serum
I've gone through so many bottles of this gorgeous serum. In summer I use it as a moisturiser, during the drier months I'll use it as a serum. It's light, hydrating and makes my skin feel great. 

Alpha-H Balancing Cleanser
Despite having the name balancing, I found this to be a good cleanser that didn't dry or strip my skin. Usually if a product has balancing in the name it doesn't work for me, so I was surprised at how much I liked this cleanser. 

Drunk Elephant B Hydra Serum
I just don't get the hype with DE. Their Hydra Serum is okay but doesn't perform miracles. The Botani serum is both better and cheaper. 

Fresh Lotus Youth Preserve Moisturiser
I'd happily purchase the entire Fresh range, in fact if it was cheaper I would. I really enjoyed the Youth Preserve Moisturiser, it's hydrating, absorbs quickly and didn't leave my skin greasy. 

La Roche Posay Anthelios XL
My love for this will never end. 

Dr Dennis Gross Hyaluronic Marine Eye Cream
I liked this but it gave me milia so I wouldn't buy a full sized tube. 

Aesop Body Cream
Oh my goodness, I loved this moisturiser. It smells amazing and I'd love to buy it again. 

Lancome Hydra Zen
This was a great night time moisturiser. It's very rich and hydrating, great for dry, parched skin. 

Bobbi Brown Vitamin Enriched Face Base
I really like this, in fact I like it so much that I bought a full size. It has a nice citrus scent and is very hydrating on my dry skin. 

Drunk Elephant Jelly Cleanser
Jelly cleansers are so much fun. I couldn't use this on my eyes, it stung really, really badly, however it was great for the rest of my face. I like the fact that you didn't have to open the tube, you just twist the lid and the product comes out the lid, it's a great idea. 

Inika Lip Serum
I've added a lip serum to my morning skin care routine and it's been such a great addition. My lips are so much more hydrated and I'm not having to constantly apply lip balm throughout the day. I liked this one because it absorbed quickly and worked well under lipstick.


Masks and samples

 
I don't have much to say about these other than the Fresh Rose Radiance Mask which I loved and will buy again one day. 
Everything else way unremarkable or the sample was too small to form an opinion. 
 
These are all tosses. 
 
I liked the Akin and Tinderbox deodorants for winter but they just don't cut it for summer. They're both nearly empty so rather than having them hang around taking up space until next winter, they got the boot.
 
The Raww Beauty nail polish only lasted a day on my toes and we all know that if something doesn't last on the toes then it truly is crap. 

The face masks and Neutrogena moisturiser just didn't work for my skin and everything else was expired.

Did you get through much this month?

Sunday 27 December 2020

Thoughts of the week

1. Christmas is over. I hope you all survived. I am exhausted.

2. Who shopped the boxing day sales? We got some new curtains for our bedroom and a new shower rack.

3. I'm now planning to spend a few days doing as little as possible.

4. Here's a reminder for you all that it's okay to rest when you need to. Everything can wait, it'll all be there when you're ready to get moving again.

5. To all of you who are going through a rough time at the moment, my thoughts and love are with you.

Saturday 26 December 2020

Saturday Stories - Toxic Positivity

Do you ever think sometime it's unhealthy to be positive? I do. 

I read a quote a little while ago that went something like "She had a thousand struggles but only spoke of her joys". Underneath it where a whole pile of comments agreeing and saying that positivity was the key and the only way to be happy.

I couldn't disagree more. Being positive all the time is just not healthy. If you're repressing your feelings instead of acknowledging them, that's not healthy at all. It's okay to speak of pain and struggles, it's normal, healthy and necessary. Being positive all the time is not healthy at all. 

You can speak of troubles and still have a positive attitude.

Friday 25 December 2020

FFS Friday - The Christmas Edition

If you've been here for a while you'll know that Tiger and I are Christmas rookies. We really have no idea what's going on. 
If you are new around here, both Tiger and I were raised as Jehovah's Witnesses. Neither of us are involved in the religion, but we didn't grow up with Christmas so really have no idea how it's supposed to work. 
 
My extended family are all JWs so they aren't any help. This year our christmas lunch was made up entirely of ex JWs. 
 
Because we have no idea what we're doing, we keep on making mistakes.
 
This year we made two mistakes. First was with the Elf on a Shelf. The boys saw a set of them at the shops and asked if we could get them. Silly me agreed. 
 
Not knowing how it was supposed to work, ours went into action on the night we got them (mid November).  I later learned that they aren't supposed to arrive until December and they usually come with a book. 
 
Keeping up the elf thing for six weeks wasn't my idea of a great time, however the boys loved it so it was worth it. Next mistake was the elves not leaving. Yep, they're still here and Tiger still moves them around every night. FFS. I have no idea how long this is going to continue.
 
The other rookie mistake we made was a really silly one. Batteries! It didn't even occur to me that we'd need batteries for the toys that the boys were getting, so we had to pay a small fortune for batteries from the servo because of course their toys took C batteries which we didn't have. FFS.
 
Whilst we keep on making mistakes, the great thing about having no idea what you're supposed to do at Christmas means we can make our own rules. We have a family lunch, yummy food and good company, it's lovely. 
 
This year we had extra people for lunch which we won't do again, I found it too stressful. I like it when it's just family. I'm relaxed, they have no expectations and it's easy. I don't have to entertain family, they make themselves at home so I can sit and enjoy their company. 
 
I've realised that the main burden of Christmas rests with the Mum, which is totally unfair. I was the one doing all the organising and stressing. Next year Tiger can take some responsibility. 
 
I hope you all had a good day with people you care about. If you didn't, I hope that next year is better.

Sunday 20 December 2020

Thoughts of the week

1. What a week it's been. The boys are on school holidays!
 
2. We had Chai's ASD assessment this week. I hadn't realised how much we've changed our lives to accommodate his needs. It wasn't until they were asking me questions about our life that I realised how differently we do things.

3. I'm so glad we don't live in the city right now. I don't want to be anywhere near there with a bikie war going on.

4. How full on have all the marketing emails been lately! Despite unsubscribing constantly, I'm still getting emails every few minutes telling me I urgently need to shop for Christmas. It's exhausting.

5. Bondi Sands have new SPF 50 lip balms, they're flavoured! I really want to try them. The flavours are vanilla, mango, strawberry and watermelon.


Saturday 19 December 2020

Saturday Stories - Don't forgive

Trigger warning. This post contains information about sexual assault.
 
When I was nine my 17 year old cousin molested me. At the time my parents didn't know, what happened when they found out is a story for another day.
 
When I was ready, I went to counselling to help me deal with what had occurred. I've dealt with it numerous times, I'm over it.
 
What I haven't done and will never do, is forgive him. Never. So often you see and hear people saying that you can't heal without forgiving the perpetrator. Bullshit. That's total and utter bullshit. 
I think it's quite harmful to tell a survivor/victim that they won't be okay until they can forgive the person who harmed them.
 
Why should we forgive someone who knowingly did awful things? We shouldn't. They don't deserve forgiveness. They don't deserve it at all. They knew what they were doing, they knew it wasn't right and they still chose to do the wrong thing. There's no excuse for that.
 
What people should be told is that they won't completely heal until they've accepted what happened. Acceptance is the key, not forgiveness. For me to heal I needed to accept what had happened, understand that it wasn't my fault and decide that I wasn't going to let it affect my future.
 
Stop telling people that they need to forgive, they don't. They need to accept not forgive. 
 
Forgiveness is not an essential part of healing. 

Friday 18 December 2020

FFS Friday - I want

I do not like my son today. 
 
I do not want to be his mum.
 
Just for today I want a normal child, one who doesn't explode all the time. One who won't swear or head butt me. One who won't hurt his brother every single day.
 
I want to have a day where I'm not worried about him and trying to find solutions that will make his life easier. 
 
I want a day where I'm not researching therapies or diets that might help.
 
I want a day, just one day, where he's kind to his brother. A day where I'm not really worried about the effect that his awful behaviour is having on his brother. 
 
I want a day where I'm just a normal mum with two normal kids. Where I don't have to ask him ten times to get dressed. 
 
A day where I'm not deep breathing to calm myself down. Where I don't feel like I'm about to lose it. 
 
A day where I don't have to hide in the toilet or wardrobe just to get a few seconds away from him.
 
I want a day where I can wake up and enjoy a peaceful time with my beautiful boys, instead of looking at the clock five minutes after we've gotten up and wondering how I'm going to make it through to bed time. 
 
I'd like a day where I don't wonder what I did wrong because my child thinks that constant foul language and violent behaviour is acceptable. 
 
I'd like a day where I'm not abused by my own child. 
 
I'd really like a day where parenting is fun, where I don't have to pretend that everything is great when it really, really isn't. 
 
I'd like a day where I don't have to sit on my bed whilst he goes to the toilet because he's too scared to be in the bathroom on his own.

I'd like a day where I could delight in how amazing and fun my boys are. 
(They really are.)

I'd like a day where I could enjoy his company. Where we could go to the supermarket or shopping centre without it being a nightmare. Where we could go to a cafe for a milkshake and cake without him ruining it and me wondering wtf I thought it was a good idea.
 
I'd like a day, just one day, where being a mum is fun.
 
Today is not that day. 
 
Tomorrow might not be either. 
But one day it will be that day. 
One day I'll know what's going on with my boy and how to help him be a calm, happy person. 
It won't happen overnight but it will happen. 
I will not rest until it does. 
 
Until then I'll enjoy the small, fleeting moments of joy. 
I'll reach deep and find my calmness in the storm. 
I'll let the emotions wash over me. I'll remain calm and centered.
 
Sometimes I'll fail and give in to those emotions, on those days I'll be gentle with myself, pick myself up and continue being the best version of me that I can. 
 
I'll continue pretending to the world that everything is wonderful, even though inside I'm falling apart. 
 
One day I won't feel that way. One day I won't be pretending. I look forward to that day. 
 
Better days are coming. 

Tuesday 15 December 2020

Burt's Bees Salted Caramel Lip Balm

YOU ALL NEED THIS! It's amazing. 
I ordered mine from Catch of the Day at the end of last month, then forgot about it because it took so long to arrive. 

When it arrived I opened the packet, put the balm on and it was instant love. If you are a fan of caramel scents you need to get your hands on this asap. 


Caramel is one of my favourite lip balm scents and it's so difficult to find, so whenever I find a caramel flavoured balm I buy it. The Burt's Bees version is easily one of the best I've ever used. It's smooth, creamy and super hydrating. I don't detect any saltiness, it's all caramel goodness.

I purchased three for $9.99 which is a bargain!

Get onto it people.


Sunday 13 December 2020

Thoughts of the week

1. Summer has arrived in Western Australia with a vengeance. We went from temperatures in the high teens to the high 30's. What a change!
 
2. Four days until my babies are on school holidays. I'm looking forward to it.
 
3. I've been feeling overwhelmed for a while now so this week I've done very little. It's been wonderful and I'm feeling so much better for it.
 
4. Thanks to me doing nothing all week, the house is a mess and I'm now madly trying to catch up on the washing. Heh.
 
5. What's your favourite water bottle? I need a new one and can't find one that I love.

Saturday 12 December 2020

Saturday Stories - Struggles

Following on from last week's story about accepting a compliment, here's another one that I think is important and that's acknowledging our struggles. 
 
I'm terrible at this. How often do you hear someone say "I can't feel sorry/sad etc, someone else has it worse than me."
 
So what? Just because it could be worse doesn't mean that you don't have a right to your feelings. Your struggles are your struggles and it's okay to voice those struggles. We all have different challenges.
 
Denying those challenges isn't being fair to ourselves. 
 
Yes, maybe it could be worse, but that doesn't make it any easier. We all have a right to our feelings, even if they are first world issues. Whatever the situation, we're living with our issues, not anyone elses. 
 
So if something is tough, say it's tough. You don't need to put on a brave front, you're allowed to be struggling with your situation. 
 
It's perfectly okay. 

Friday 11 December 2020

FFS Friday - Guilty until proven innocent

It's Friday! WooHoo! We made it! Who else has no idea what day it is any more? I'm so confused. After trying my best and constantly getting it wrong, I have now given in to the chaos and accepted that I have nfi what is going on.
 
The boys only have four days of school left.
Eljay is excited, Chai is not. How funny is that? I never thought I'd see Chai happy to be at school.
 
Monday Tiger got a letter from the chemist saying that they had systems in place to check if things weren't paid for and that he hadn't paid for a script he received. Basically they were politely accusing him of stealing.
 
I was the one who picked up the script so I checked our online banking and sure enough I'd paid for it. 
I called them but they couldn't tell me what the problem was, so Tuesday morning I went in there. 
Turns out it was their mistake! They'd had him recorded as still having a health care card so they'd charged us the wrong price. 
I didn't even look at the receipt, I just swiped my card so had no idea they'd charged me the wrong price. 
When I checked the online banking there were two amounts spent at the chemist that day, so I figured they'd done something strange when they processed the payment.

They didn't apologise for accusing us of stealing. 
How rude. You'd think the least they would do is apologise. 
 
The person I spoke to said that it's a generic letter so the same thing gets sent to everyone, even if they have paid for the item like we did.

Really, you'd think that they'd be a little more careful about accusing people of something they didn't do. 
 
Wizard Pharmacy you need to have a good look at your generic letters!
I'm in the mood for complaining so I've written to their head office telling them they need to change their letters and stop accusing innocent people of stealing. 
 
Who else should I complain to whilst I'm at it? I've complained to St George bank because they still haven't sorted out the credit card debacle. Once they've sorted it out I'm going to report them to the AFCA because if a bank can't recognise that 57 transactions over a few days on a previously inactive account is fraud then they have a serious issue. 

Have a beautiful weekend :)
 

Tuesday 8 December 2020

November Empties

Can you believe the year is almost over? I'm sure a lot of people will be very relieved about that.
 
We're fortunate that 2020 has been a good year for us. If it wasn't for COVID I believe that Tiger would still be working FIFO and I'd be a broken mess.
 
Enough chat, it's empties time! I have a dismal amount of empties this time, I don't know what happened. What didn't happen is me using up lots of products!
 

That's it! How dismal! 
 
First up is the Tosowoong Foot Peeling.
This was total crap. I got a little bit of dry skin and flaking but none of the peeling that I expect from a foot peel. I bought mine from iHerb and won't purchase again. It was a total waste of time and money. 
 
Neutrogena Hydro Boost Cleanser Gelee Milk
I really enjoyed this. It dissolved all my makeup, didn't irritate my eyes and wasn't drying. I used it as a first cleanse as it gets rid of make-up so effectively.
 
L'oreal Casting Cream Gloss Conditioner
My hair colour includes a bottle of conditioner with it, the bottle is so big that I get four uses out of it. If they sold this separately I'd buy it, it makes my hair so soft and shiny.
 
L'Occitane Herbae Body Milk
If you're looking for a fresh, green summer scent, check out Herbae, it's beautiful. I'm sad that I finished the tube as I really enjoyed the scent. 
 
Avene AOxitive Day Cream 
Once again Avene have nailed it with this formula. They are so good at skincare. This made my skin look radiant and bright. I'd really like to purchase a full size.
 
ESK Enlighten
I so want to buy a full sized bottle of Enlighten, but I have too many other products I need to finish first. If you have pigmentation and dark patches, give Enlighten a go, it really works!
 
Olay Total Effects Whip
After wanting to try the Olay whipped products for a while, I really don't understand how they're any different to their regular moisturisers. It didn't feel any lighter than a regular moisturiser. It was nice to use though.
 
Skinstitut Gentle Cleanser 
Unlike most of the Skinstitut products I've tried, this one wasn't love. It's a foaming cleanser and did the trick, but I didn't love it. There's nothing wrong with it, it just wasn't love. 
 
Viva La Juicy Perfume
This is a little too sweet for me.
 
Dearest Lips Mocha Lip Balm
My love for Dearest Lips continues. My cute little tub is now sitting happily in the garden waiting to decompose.  
 

Sunday 6 December 2020

Thoughts of the week

1. Contact tracing started in WA yesterday. I downloaded the app but didn't like the privacy conditions so deleted it. I'll just give my name and phone number when required. It's automatically registered at the gym and I rarely go anywhere else that it'll be required. I'm sure it'll be painful for the businesses who have to record every customer.

2. My bff is on holiday for the next six weeks. It's lovely being able to see her during the week. I can usually only see her on weekends. We're taking advantage of the next few weeks whilst the boys are at school and spending as much child free time together as possible.

3. I'm starting to get bored. With the boys at school all day now I need something to occupy me. Trying to find a training course/job that I want to do is not easy.

4. The boys school disco was on Friday night and they had an absolute ball. I'm thrilled at how well they've adapted to school.

5. Despite having a very low key Christmas, this time of year is still crazy and I don't like it at all.



Saturday 5 December 2020

Saturday Stories - Take a Compliment

Many years ago I realised that I wasn't good at taking a compliment. People would compliment me and I'd try to tell them they were wrong. How silly. After a while I learned to just say Thank you.
 
There's the other side to compliments that I haven't quite mastered. It's when people tell me things have been difficult for me. I instantly feel the need to point out to them that life hasn't been easy for them either. How silly.
 
I think it stems back to vulnerability and our uncomfortableness with showing vulnerability. I've realised that when I admit things have been difficult, interesting conversations happen and that's a wonderful thing.

I've also found that the more I can be open and vulnerable, the more support I get. We all need support. 

I've been really surprised at the amount of people who've said to me they wondered how I coped with home schooling. I didn't cope, I just pretended to cope because I thought there was no other option. Why do we do that? Why do we pretend that everything is okay when it isn't?

I'm not sure anyone could have made home schooling easier, but at least if people had known I was struggling I would have had emotional support and that makes a huge difference.
 
Now, when someone tells me things have been difficult for me I acknowledge it and that's perfectly okay. 
 

Friday 4 December 2020

FFS Friday - Fenced in

Happy Friday beautiful people. Today is our tenth wedding anniversary. Tiger was going to take the day off but it's too close to when we have to go to Perth for an appointment so he couldn't. I'll be spending the day helping set up for the boy's disco and we'll both be spending the evening volunteering at the disco so we will barely get to see each other. Oh well, that's life with young kids.
 
I have no idea how I've managed to put up with Tiger for 14 years. It hasn't been easy. Men are strange creatures, I really don't understand them sometimes. 
I'm sure they feel the same way about us.
 
He asks the silliest questions. At the moment his favourite question is "Is it just me or is it (cold/hot/windy etc)"
I don't understand that question. 
After he'd asked me about ten times this week I said "What difference does it make? If you're cold then you're cold, it doesn't matter if I'm cold or not. Your reality is your reality."
 
Really, what's the point of that question? If he's cold then he's cold, what difference does it make if I'm cold or not? Even if he's the only one in the world who is cold, he's still cold.
 
Would he suddenly not be cold if I told him it was just him? No, he'd still be cold, so why ask?
 
A few times I've told him it was just him, then his anxiety kicked in and he started worrying that there was something wrong. It's easier to just ignore the question. Hah. 
 
I wonder if he regrets marrying me. We were together four years before we got married and we'd known each other two years before we got married so it wasn't like he didn't know what he was in for.  
 
You know what else has been bothering me lately? Fences. Or more particularly, the lack of fences around houses in the USA. I have a friend who lives there, she's just bought a house. There is no fence on two sides and a single chain fence on another side! WTF! Their pool didn't even have a fence around it! 
The real estate agent told her he's never seen a fenced pool.
 
I have so many questions about the lack of fencing and the issues it causes, but they can't be answered because everytime my friend asks someone they have no answers because it's normal to them. 
 
Really, how do they cope without fences? There's no privacy, no security. How do they keep their children and animals in their yard? What if they want to sunbathe naked in the backyard? Or wander around in their underwear in their house? They can't do those things because the neighbours would see.
Do they go outside to find random kids and animals in their yard? The mind boggles. I just don't understand. 

Clearly I need more sleep. Or more coffee. Or both. Both would be good. And chocolate. I definitely need more chocolate. 

Have a beautiful weekend!

Tuesday 1 December 2020

The Lipstick Challenge

Last week on Instagram I was doing Lipstick Week. I realised that my lipsticks have been severely neglected this year so decided to show them some love. I usually wear lipstick every day however when covid hit I swapped to lip balm and I haven't gone back to lipstick. It's a real waste of my beautiful lipsticks, they deserve more love.
 
I've decided to set myself a lipstick challenge. I did consider starting next year, however I'm impatient and don't want to wait so I'm starting now. My aim is to finish as many lipsticks as I can by the end of next year. I'd like to finish at least one full size lipstick and two or more minis. Who wants to join me?
 
The full size lipstick I want to finish is my beloved MAC Bare Venus. It's my all time favourite nude, however it's old, really old. It still smells and feels fine so I'm happy to use it, but it needs to go.
 
 
It's such a beautiful colour, I'll be sad to see it go. Nudes are so difficult to find, being pale most of them make me look like a corpse, which is really not ideal. 

 
Here's my starting point. I'll update every few months so we can see how I'm tracking.
 
I haven't decided what mini lipsticks I want to finish. I have a Bite Beauty one on the go so I'll probably use that up and then find another one. I'm going to concentrate on Bare Venus first. 
 
If you're going to join me and you have a blog or Instagram, please post your link in the comments so I can follow your progress. 


Sunday 29 November 2020

Thoughts of the week

1. Who shopped the Black Friday sales? I bought dishwasher tablets, moisturiser for Tiger and my hair colour. There were lots of other tempting things but I don't need them. I really wanted to get the Bon Maxie mini sidekick in cobalt/gunmetal, but again, I don't need it.
 
2. The boys have their school disco this week and they're so excited. Parents aren't allowed but Tiger and I are both volunteering at the event so we'll get to be there.
 
3. Eljay has really come out of his shell since he started school. He's a quiet little introvert so it's been a huge change for him.
 
4. I have no Saturday Stories this week, my brain isn't working. I know what I want to write about, the words just won't come out.
 
5. I've got nothing else, my brain has left the building.

Friday 27 November 2020

FFS Friday - Profound

Warning: This post contains a lot of profanity, if you don't like swearing please stop reading now.
 
I believe that the one thing in life I have control over is my attitude. I can choose to be positive or negative, happy or sad etc. I choose to be happy and positive.
 
To my horror Chai has started swearing. Nothing I do stops him. I'm sure he was sent to me to teach me to be non judgemental. In the past I would have thought a swearing child was a reflection of their parents, I now know this isn't true. 
 
He's also started having raging tantrums, which the paediatrician has told me are another form of meltdown. FML.
 
The tantrums are happening most days and they're awful, but at the same time they can be highly amusing because he is trying his best to swear but he gets it so very wrong.
 
Monday he was having a huge meltdown. He was really upset and I was trying to calm him down until he screamed at me "I'm sick of this shitting fuck, I won't do this fuck any more. I've done it every fuck day, I'm not doing this shitting fuck again fuck."
 
At this point I had to stop trying to calm him down and walk away so that he didn't see me laughing. It was just so funny. Instead of being upset I spent the rest of the day laughing about shitting fuck. It's my new favourite swear word.
 
Wednesday was another meltdown. He started swearing before we even got out of bed. Sigh. 
It's exhausting, but I'm not focusing on that. Instead I'll focus on the next pearler he came out with. Eljay annoyed him so he screamed at him "You're a horrible shit asshole!" 
It's not quite as good as shitting fuck but it's still funny.
 
Dealing with Chai is exhausting. It's the most difficult part of my life and I really have no idea how I can do better. At the moment all I can do is keep plodding along, be relieved that I get a break whilst he's at school and hope that one day life will get easier. 
 
In the meantime I'm going to do my best to ignore the shitting fuck negative and focus on the positive. 

Tuesday 24 November 2020

Tatcha Pure and Glowing Trio first impressions

A little while ago I was chatting with one of my friends about skin care and she told me that she loves all of her skin care. I do not love mine. 
Not long after that discussion she very generously sent me the beautiful Tatcha Pure and Glowing Trio and I'm in love. 
I now understand what she means when she says she loves her skin care. Some products are just a total joy to use.
 
 
Firstly, look how beautiful they are! Clearly a lot of thought went into the packaging. That gold part on top of the moisturiser is a spoon! What a great idea. 
 

Whilst it's early days, I am loving using these beautiful Tatcha products. They're a joy to use and my skin feels very soft and smooth after I've used them. I'm really keen to pare down my skin care stash then explore more of the Tatcha range!


Sunday 22 November 2020

Thoughts of the week

1. This week has been rough. Chai's been having a lot of meltdowns, they're so draining.
 
2. I'm doing an end of year email detox. As each email comes through I'm making sure to unsubscribe to the ones that I don't read and most of the beauty ones because they just make me want to spend money on things I don't need.
 
3. I've been seriously thinking of starting some sort of no buy. I don't need any more things. In the past buying myself treats was the only nice thing I could do for myself. Now the boys are at school I have time to do what I want so I don't need to spend money on things I don't need. I also thought of saving the money that I would have spent on unnecessary purchases so that when I do need something the money is available.
 
4. Instagram has switched things around again so now I can't find anything. I'll manage to reply to comments as soon as I find where they've gone.
 
5. It's great for everyone in Adelaide that their lock down finished early.

Saturday 21 November 2020

Saturday Stories - Judgement

This Halloween, for the first time, we decided to go trick or treating with the boys. Chai loves dressing up and has always loved Halloween. 
 
In the past Tiger was always away so I'd take them to our local shopping centre. They did a great event where everyone would get dressed up, the kids would make a lolly bag then be given a map and they had to go to all the different shops to get lollies. I loved it because it was safe, indoors and only lasted an hour. The boys loved it because they got dressed up and got lots of lollies.
This year the event wasn't on due to covid.
 
We arranged for some friends to come over with their kids. They got to our house at 4.30pm and we were ready to go, however Tiger decided we'd have dinner first. We told him that we needed to go early but he knew best. 
 
By the time we got out of the house it was 7.30pm and most of the houses had run out of lollies. We had to drive and Chai was getting increasingly upset. We found a few houses that were still open, but most of them were finished. 
 
Our friends were following us in their car. After we'd unsuccessfully tried five different houses Chai had a meltdown. He was so upset, he'd been looking forward to trick or treating for months and it was a total fizzer. Instead of apologising properly, Tiger apologised totally inadequately once and then got angry when Chai didn't immediately calm down. 
 
The poor boy was devastated. So here we were driving around in the car, Chai was having a meltdown, Eljay was crying, Tiger was yelling at them and I was questioning my life choices. 
 
I managed to calm the boys down and we pulled up at one last house. The boys ran in, got their lollies, we said goodbye to our friends and off they went. 
 
By this time I was totally drained. I started thinking that they had absolutely no idea what had been going on whilst we were driving around. They probably though we had a great night. 
 
It just goes to show that you never really know what's going on in peoples lives. They were right there with us and yet had no idea the drama and stress that was occurring in our car. 
 
We just don't know what's going on behind the scenes for people. They might pretend that everything is okay and yet on the inside they ciould be on the verge of a meltdown. 
 
It's hardened my resolve not to judge. We're all doing the best that we can at any given time, and if sometimes our best isn't quite good enough that's totally okay. 
 
Be kind and gentle with others and yourself. You're equally deserving of the love and compassion that you show to others.