Saturday, 7 February 2015

FFS Saturday

I know, I'm late with my FFS Friday post, so today I present to you FFS Saturday. Has a good ring to it doesn't it? I had a lovely list of whinges to write about, but they have all been overshadowed by kindy. FFS.

This week my baby Chai started kindy. FFS.

Someone hold me. FFS.

I am not ready for this. FFS.

Actually, I lie, I am so ready for this! FFS.

I was optimistically hoping that it would go well, but I knew it wouldn't. FFS.

It didn't. FFS.

We've been trying to prepare Chai for kindy, talking to him about it, explaining what will happen etc and he was getting excited about it. The first day went okay until he realised we were going to leave him there. FFS.

We'd told him we had to leave him there but when it came time to leave he got really upset. FFS.

In the end I walked out and the teacher had to pull him crying out of Tigers arms. FFS.

I could hear him crying from outside the school gates. FFS.

It was fucking awful. FFS.

I hated it. FFS.

Just thinking about it makes me cry. FFS.

I fucking hate kindy. FFS.

I hate leaving my baby. FFS.

I want to pick him up and run away, far far away where there is no kindy and he can be with me forever. Where he isn't sad or upset or crying, where he's happy and playing. If anyone knows such a place, please give me the address, I'll meet you there. 

They said they'd call me if he didn't settle and I didn't get a phone call. Not FFS.

When I picked him up he was happy, he got a bit teary when he saw me but he said that he'd had fun. Not FFS.

He told me that he wasn't going back to kindy, it was fun playing but he doesn't like kindy and is just going to stay with me. Sounds good to me. 

The next day when we told him he had to go to kindy the tears started. Fuck.

It was awful. We managed to get him there and had the same problem. FFS.

Once again we left him crying. FFS.

I felt awful. Actually, awful doesn't even cover it. FFS.

Tiger picked him up and he was happy and said he'd had a good time. The teacher said that he was only upset for a few minutes and then he was fine. I'm not sure if I believe her or not. I want to believe her. 

We've spent a lot of time talking to Chai about kindy and he seems a little happier about it now. I'm not looking forward to next week though, I'll be alone and he has to go three days. Fun. FFS.

I may just run away with him to somewhere he can be my baby forever. 

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