Friday 17 April 2020

FFS Friday - Mars?

Sometimes I'm convinced Tiger lives on another planet to us. He's here in body but not in spirit. Or maybe it's just a clone of him. He walks, talks etc but nothing goes into his brain.

Here's the perfect example. After he lost his job we had to register for welfare payments. I got online but as he didn't know his CRN he couldn't claim online so we had to ask Centrelink to call us. I told Tiger that until Centrelink called we couldn't claim payments.

Over the next few weeks I repeatedly told him that we had not lodged our claim and we wouldn't be able to until we'd received a call from Centrelink.
One night we were talking and he mentioned something about the welfare payments. I told him for at least the 10th time, probably more, that we wouldn't receive payment until Centrelink had called him and we'd lodged the claim online. He was shocked. In his head we'd lodged the claim two weeks ago. 

I don't even know why he thought we'd lodged a claim. He'd done nothing. Did he think it'd happen by magic? Maybe he thought I'd done the claim for him? What I don't get is why he didn't understand every time I told him "Until Centrelink call you we can't lodge a claim." What's confusing about that?

The only explanation is that I was talking to his clone.

Here's another example. We've lived at our house for almost seven years. Yesterday he asked me what our street name is. WTF? 

See? Further proof that I'm living with Tigers clone and not the real Tiger. 

This weeks "stupid questions I get asked" is a great one from Tiger. There's a little back story to it. 

In the past I used to clean up the mess that my family left everywhere. After many years I got really tired of that and went on a permanent strike. 
Last weekend we did grocery shopping. Tiger put it all away but left the tomato's out. As I'm on strike I didn't put them away, I left them where they were. After sitting on the bench for a week some of them went off.

Yesterday, Tiger asked me his stupid question. 
Are you ready for it?

He asked me: Are we keeping these rotten tomato's?
To which I replied: Do we ever keep rotten tomato's?

Seriously, wtf would we do with rotten tomaoto's?

Have a lovely weekend everyone.

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