Friday, 13 November 2020

FFS Friday - The things I haven't said

Hello beautiful people. I hope you are all well. It's time for a life update, it's a big one so I'll probably break it into two parts. 
When covid hit and we went into lockdown, Tiger lost his job. It's the first time in seven years that he's spent more than two weeks at home (other than when Eljay was born). 
It only took a few weeks for him to realise how difficult Chai's behaviour is and that we need help. I've been telling him for years that we need help, however he's always thought that the problem was a combination of discipline and him being away. He's always believed that once he comes home everything will be okay. 
He was wrong. Everything is not okay. It's far from okay. 
Two weeks in and Tiger declared that he couldn't homeschool the kids. 
Hah, welcome to my world buddy. I was not sympathetic.
Chai's behaviour got increasingly worse despite Tiger being home. 
Eventually we reached the point where we just couldn't cope any more. I was totally broken and knew something had to change, so we started thinking about sending the boys to school. Tiger called the school that we've been wanting to get them in to for years. We aren't in the zone so every time we've called in the past they've said they won't take the boys. This time they didn't say no, they asked us to put in an application. 
We put the application in and they asked us to meet with the principal and our homeschooling moderator. I was feeling very nervous about the boys going to school and not expecting them to be accepted.
We went to the meeting and it went amazingly well. The principal raised every concern I had and offered solutions that I thought I was going to have to fight for. I was still in denial about them going to school.
I thought if they were accepted they'd start next year or in term 4 of this year. 
We met with the principal on Thursday and Eljay started school the Wednesday afterwards. I was so not prepared for it. I was an absolute mess. I felt sick, I couldn't eat or sleep, it was awful. I was so worried that I would be walking back into the situation we had when I originally pulled the boys out of school. How wrong I was.
Both boys were very excited about starting school and couldn't wait to get there. Chai didn't start until the next week and we agreed that he'd do a gradual return to school. 
Eljay did really well for the first few days then decided he hated it and didn't want to go any more. That was really rough. He was so upset and I hated sending him to school upset. Every morning a teachers assistant and two of his friends would be waiting in the car park for us and they'd take him into class. The poor little man really struggled, there were tears every morning. 
I knew it was going to be a challenge for him because he's only spend two nights away from me his whole life. The only reason I kept on sending him is because every day when I picked him up he was happy. His teacher kept in touch with me and let me know that he was okay and he was happy once he'd got to school. The principal also kept an eye on him, so I knew that he was okay. 
He now loves school and is happy to go every day, however he still prefers being home with me. 
Chai returned to school exactly three years to the day that I originally pulled him out of school. How serendipitous is that!
We were expecting Chai's return to be a challenge but it hasn't been. He absolutely loves school. There haven't been any teething problems or issues, he's thriving. 
Next week will be his first full time week. It would have been this week however we've got his Paediatrician's appointment Friday. 
This school is amazing. They are so wonderful with the kids, they are kind, considerate and positive. It's everything that I wanted from a school and more. 
I thought that the schooling system was broken. It's not, it's just the school that the boys originally went to. 
Whilst I was a basket case when the boys first started, it was also a relief. I just couldn't cope with having Chai home any longer. Now I feel like I can breathe again. I have time to rest, to think and to do things that I want to do. 
I've started cleaning and decluttering the house which is really satisfying. When I was homeschooling I quickly realised that I couldn't do everything and something had to give, so the house has been a mess for years. I hate living in clutter. Slowly but surely I am getting rid of the clutter. I'm doing the main living areas first because that's what I see most. It gives me great satisfaction to see all the areas that are now clutter free.
The school thinks that Chai may have ASD so we're getting an assessment for that, we have his appointment this morning. I really hope we like the paed and get some answers.
As if that wasn't enough, whilst all this was going on Tiger decided to sell my car, just to add to the stress. Come back next week for that story.

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