Friday, 24 January 2020

FFS Friday - No joke

I was supposed to be having surgery today.
I'm not.
It was delayed until next Friday.
After I thought about it I realised that next Friday won't work, so now I'm not having surgery until the middle of February. FFS. 

I am so over waiting.
They tried to fit me in today to align with Tigers swing but a lady refused to swap dates.
I want to think awful things about her refusing to swap. Her surgery isn't urgent and she could have waited another week.
I can't think horrible things about her though because I understand wanting to get the surgery over and done with. I understand not wanting to be in pain any more.
Even though my situation is more urgent than hers, I can totally understand her refusal to swap.
Her surgery is elective, unlike mine, however I'm sure to her it's just as urgent as my surgery.

Tiger is casual so doesn't have any leave. He can't take holidays. I have to be off my feet for ten days.
I don't want to ask Mum to come down. She probably would, however looking after the boys is really tough and I don't want to put her through that again.

By the time I have my surgery it'll be almost five months since I injured myself. Five months of constant pain and broken sleep. I'm ready for that to be over.

Whilst I know delaying is the logical thing to do, mentally I'm not on board with it. Tiger said that he'd take a week off (unpaid) and we'd find the money somewhere but the last thing we need is money stress. 
At the moment my logical brain is fighting with my emotional brain and I'm trying not to be upset. 

Last night Tiger made a joke about my ankle. I gave him a deadpan look and told him I've lost all sense of humour and there's nothing funny about my ankle. 
So that's where we are. 

But, on a positive note it means a few good things can happen. We have friends coming down this weekend. We'd told them we'd need to reschedule but when my surgery was cancelled it meant that they can come down.
It also means that I'll finally get to meet my friend Rosie. We've been friends online for around 20 years but never met. She's in my area for a little while and thanks to not having surgery I'll be able to meet her. 
So all up it's not too bad, just don't make jokes about my ankle.

2 comments :

  1. I hope everything goes well.
    good luck and a nice weekend beauty =)
    xoxo
    franzi from powder brows

    ReplyDelete

Hi, thanks so much for your comment!