Friday, 17 January 2020

FFS Friday - Dictator

Happy Friday beautiful people. Or Saturday if you're reading this on the weekend. Or Thursday if you're in the USA. Or happy whatever day it is.

So.
I've introduced a dictatorship in our house. I am over the boys being assholes. I've tried being nice, I've tried peaceful parenting, I've tried explaining things to them, I've tried modelling good behaviour, I've tried ignoring the negative and praising the positive, I've tried all the things the various psychologists have told me to, I've tried 123 magic, I've tried so many other things. They didn't work.
Last week I reached my limit so now we're living with a dictatorship. It's not the way I want to parent but until the kids learn how not to be assholes it's how we'll be living.

I sat the boys down and told them that if they keep on misbehaving they'll be going to school as I will no longer tolerate their bad behaviour.
We now have rules:
  • No fighting. If they fight they lose privileges for the day.
  • No screen time until they've done their learning.
  • If they have a bad attitude or don't do the learning I need them to, no privileges.
  • Bad language results in the loss of privileges.
  • Any toys or clothes that they leave on the floor go in the bin at the end of the day.
  • Every time they say something negative they have to say three positive things.
  • Any rudeness or disrespect will result in the loss of privileges.
This isn't the way I want to be but I have no choice. Chai says that I'm mean now. I've told him that I have to parent this way due to their behaviour (and let's be honest, it's Chai's behaviour, Eljay is usually well behaved).

So far it's going okay. I am slightly less stressed. Their behaviour is getting a little better. I have to remind them at least 20 times a day that they'll lose privileges but I'm hoping that eventually they'll remember without me constantly reminding them. It's slow progress but at least it's progress.
Funnily enough, I've tried restricting privileges in the past and it made no difference, maybe it's the threat of school or their ages that's making it work now. It could also be that Chai's more able to regulate himself as he's on medication. Who knows? I certainly don't. 

In other news, I saw the surgeon yesterday. Finally, after three months I have answers.
I completely tore my atfl, partially tore my cfl, damaged my deltoid ligament and injured a tendon. FFS. 
How I managed that whilst walking in a straight line on a flat surface I'll never know. 
I'm having surgery next week, I'll be in a cast for ten days, a moon boot for five weeks then a brace for four to five months. Fun.
But, on the positive side, at least I'll be getting better and every day I'll be a little better and in less pain. 
I look forward to getting back to normal and not being in constant pain.

 Have a beautiful weekend!

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