Friday, 6 July 2018

FFS Friday - Instinct

You know those times when you don't trust your instincts and everything goes to crap? That's what happened last week. I knew better, I really did, but I listened to everyone else instead of trusting myself. Stupid.

I mentioned before that I was taking Chai to a new paediatrician. We saw him last Thursday, he was lovely. 

Chai put on the performance of his life. The whole time we were there he was bouncing off the walls. He was jumping from the examination table to the floor, doing ninja rolls, flying kicks, jumping on me and having a wonderful time showing the paed all his tricks. 

Due to his wonderful performance the paed came to the conclusion that Chai has ADHD. I told him that I don't think Chai does as he's not hyper all the time and it's not consistent. The paed said that he though Chai had enough signs of ADHD and said that we could try some medication. He explained that the medication only needs to be taken for around a year as it teaches the brain how to produce the chemicals itself. If Chai didn't take the medication and he was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult he'd need medication for the rest of his life. 

I asked lots of questions. The Dr said I'd know from the first dose if the medication worked, it'd calm him down and then around lunchtime it'd wear off and he'd be back to normal. If he didn't have ADHD the Dr said that the meds would have no effect.

Despite my better judgement I decided to give the meds a go. It was the thought of him having to take medication for the rest of his life that got me, I didn't want him to need meds as an adult if it was something I could have sorted for him when he was a child.

The meds need to be taken in the morning, so I got them on Friday and Saturday morning at 6.53am I gave it to him. I was supposed to give him half a dose, I gave him about 1/3 of a dose. 

As soon as the meds kicked in my beautiful boy turned into a devil child. He was angry, aggressive, frustrated, short tempered, irritable, agitated and totally out of sorts. Nothing I did helped. Fark.

We went to the park for two hours, came home for lunch then went back to the park for another three hours. When we got back home he was bouncing off the walls. I emailed the paed at 5pm, he replied (which I wasn't expecting) and told me that Chai would be back to normal the next day. He lied.  

At 7pm Chai was wide awake and wanting me to jump on the trampoline with him. At 9pm he was still awake. I gave him some melatonin and put him into bed with me. I was exhausted so fell asleep straight away, I have no idea how long he took to get to sleep. 

Sunday he woke up at 4.30am. Whilst he wasn't as bad as he had been on Saturday, he was still off his trolley. Sunday we spent five hours at the park again. Thankfully by Monday he was back to normal.

Meanwhile, the paed emailed me and said that he still thinks Chai has ADHD and suggested an some alternative medications. No way. There is no way in hell I'm going to give my boy another medication that will potentially turn him into a monster again. 

If I'd only trusted my instincts. I know he doesn't have ADHD, I've researched it a lot and whilst he has some symptoms, he doesn't have all (or even most) of them and he's not showing those signs all the time. He only shows hyper behaviour under stress or excitement. 

My BFF works with children and has seen a lot of kids with ADHD, she told me he definitely doesn't have ADHD because he's not constantly bouncing off the walls and he's not out of control. 

So basically because I didn't trust my instincts, I gave my child legal speed. Good one. 

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