Friday, 3 January 2014

FFS Friday - Calling Mr Vain

It's Friday again! I would be excited about it, but my weekends are the same as my weekdays so it's no difference. Plus, I'm solo parenting again, lucky me. FFS.

This swing the boys have given Tiger a taste of what life is like for me when he's away. Not FFS.

Usually when he's home everything runs smoothly and the second he's gone it all turns to crap, but not this time. Not FFS.

The boys have been at their finest, to my great pleasure. Not FFS.

Tiger has been so exhausted and he finally has some small idea of what it's like to solo parent (even though he's had me here helping the whole time).

Friday night it took us until 9pm to get both boys to sleep. FFS.

By the time Tiger had got Chai to sleep he was exhausted so I took the opportunity to point out to him that when he's away and I have a night like that I still have to get Eljay to sleep, make tea, eat tea, tidy up and get to bed. He started to get the picture. Not FFS.

We had the PIL's down for a few days this week. FFS.

They decided that coloured pop corn and biscuits were a good thing to give Chai for breakfast. FFS.

And left them both in Chai's reach so that he helped himself whenever he wanted them. FFS.

The MIL baffles me a lot of the time. FFS.

Sunday evening I was putting the dishes away and she was standing there watching me when she told me that my drawers are 'fantastic'. FFS.

I had no idea what she was talking about so she explained that the drawers "coming out on rollers" was absolutely fantastic. WTF? FFS.

As usual she was constantly bossing us around and telling us what to do. FFS.

And coming out with her pearls of wisdom. FFS.

For instance, if you don't wash your hands after changing a nappy you will get diarrhea. FFS.

She also took my only pair of jeans home with her. FFS.

I'm not sure what annoys me more, the fact that she took them home or the fact that she would wear the same type of jeans I'm wearing at the moment! FFS.

(It should be noted that the reason I only have 1 pair of jeans is that I'm still losing my baby weight and I refuse to buy another pair. Also, said jeans are Target cheapies and not in a style I'd usually wear, which could explain why MIL thought she'd want to wear them?)

When Chai was a baby the health nurse told me that babies practice new skills in their sleep. This wasn't true for Chai so I thought she was making it up. She wasn't. FFS.

I know this because Eljay is currently learning to roll over. He rarely does it when he's awake, but he does it constantly in his sleep. And then wakes up screaming because he's rolled over. FFS.

He doesn't just do it once or twice, he does it all night. I really do mean ALL night. FFS.

I now have to sleep with my hand on him to stop him rolling over. Fun times. FFS.

As if that's not bad enough, he's also started scratching himself hard enough to draw blood. FFS.

And so he wakes up screaming cause he's hurt. FFS.

I've cut his nails as short as I possibly can but he still manages to scratch himself. FFS.

Do you know how hard it is to find mittens to fit a five month old? No? I'll tell you. It's nearly impossible. I've searched all over town and can't find any. FFS.

This week we nearly had a trip to emergency with Chai. FFS.

He was helping Tiger fertilise the lawn when he decided to put some fertiliser in his mouth. FFS.

Thankfully Tiger saw him do it so stopped him before he closed his mouth and swallowed it. Not FFS.

I've mentioned before that Tiger is vain. Last week I put a really nice photo of him and Eljay on facebook. Not FFS.

He decided he didn't like it because it made his chest look saggy (it didn't) and so had a sulk about it. FFS.

Now he wants me to check with him before I put any photos on facebook. FFS.

I'm so tempted to post a really, really bad photo of him but I won't. FFS.

Unless he really annoys me sometime in the near future. FFS.

You may remember me complaining about my dodgy postie? Well guess what, I cracked him! I was determined to befriend him as we are going to be seeing a lot of each other and I finally managed it. You'll all be pleased to know that we are now BFF's! 

I've found out why he's so grumpy too. The poor man has a full time job, plus he helps his wife with her job, which is the mail run. So he's totally exhausted! I don't blame him for being grumpy. I'm glad we're BFF's now, we have a nice chat when he delivers my parcels and he doesn't attempt the drop and run anymore, it's great. Not FFS.

That's all my exciting news and whinges for the week. Please feel free to share your FFS worthy moments in the comments. If you'd like to read more whinges head over to Sarah's blog

Dear Baby G

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