Friday, 9 March 2012

FFS Friday

I finally got my voice back on Saturday however it's very husky, so I've decided to start a new career on one of those 'adult' 1300 numbers. FFS.

I am officially over hubby working 58 hours a week and it's only been about six weeks. FFS.

He'll probably be doing these hours until the end of the year. FFS.

MIL was down here 'helping' out whilst I was sick. FFS.

She wasn't much help. FFS.

Mum was here earlier in the week but had to go home Wednesday so MIL came down Thursday. As it turns out Mum was back here on Thursday so I could have saved the trauma of having MIL here. FFS.

Against my better judgement I let her take bub for a walk. 45 minutes later she still wasn't back. FFS.

And she didn't take her phone with her. FFS.

When they got back bub was asleep. He never sleeps in the pram for me. FFS.

She took him for a walk again the next day and he went to sleep again. FFS.

I tried taking him for a walk the day after and he screamed the whole time. FFS.

If I hear her say "He loves his grandmama" one more time I'm going to scream. FFS.

Trying to justify her annoying bossiness MIL told me that she sees me like a daughter so I should view what she tells me like I would a mother telling their daughter something. FFS.

I somehow managed to resist telling her that my Mum isn't bossy and she doesn't tell me what to do unless I ask for her opinion. FFS.

She decided to make tea for us on Friday night and warned me she's a messy cooker. FFS.

I have no idea how she got the kitchen so messy, there was food everywhere, all over the floor, the bench, in the sink, even stuck on top of the cupboard doors! FFS.

She put honey in the veggies. I hate honey. FFS.

My hatred of honey is due to Mum's food torture when I was a child, but that's a whole other story. FFS.

As annoying as it was having MIL here, in a way it was kind of nice. FFS.

Being a stay at home mum gets really lonely sometimes and it was nice to have some company. FFS.

Bub has started throwing tantrums in the middle of the night. He wakes up and throws a total spack attack with arched back and yelling for at least 20 minutes. FFS.

He only does it for me. FFS.

As soon as hubby comes in he stops screaming and goes to sleep. FFS.

Ungrateful child. FFS.

Friday night hubby and mum conspired to try to kill me. FFS.

Hubby made the first attempt and then when he was unsuccessful mum made the second attempt. FFS.

I was in bub's bedroom trying to get him back to sleep around 10.30pm. As per usual I had my eyes closed when all of a sudden I hear a loud voice (hubby) telling bub to behave. Scared me and bub half to death. FFS.

As if being scared half to death wasn't bad enough, it also totally woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep. FFS.

I managed to get back to sleep, only to be woken by bub a few hours later. FFS.

As I was rocking him back to sleep with my eyes closed again (you'd think I would have learned from the first time), I feel something touch my leg. I jumped so high my head nearly touched the roof. FFS.

It was mum coming in to see if she could help. FFS.

Lucky I'm tough, otherwise they might have been successful in their attempts to scare me to death. FFS.

I give them points for their creative method of attempted murder. FFS.

This week on two separate occasions I found a comb in hubby's bathroom. He's been bald for as long as I've known him. FFS.

They must belong to his other wife. FFS.

Sunday night I was cooking tea and hubby was looking after bub. Bub came over and told me that he wanted tea so I got it organised, put bub in his high chair, put his bib on and then asked hubby to feed him so I could continue getting tea ready. Hubby complained because he was trying to watch a movie. FFS.

It was a movie he's seen before! FFS.

I don't remember the last time I got to watch a movie. FFS.

I still have a cough left over from when I was sick and it's worse at night. Hubby told me that every time I cough I wake bub up. FFS.

He claims that I'm a 'loud cougher'. FFS.

Funnily enough, I had bub in bed with me and my coughing didn't wake him up, he didn't even stir. FFS.

If my coughing really did wake bub up he'd be awake every hour and he's not. FFS.

The cold has given me asthma and I just can't shake it. Not being able to breathe is getting a little tiring. FFS.

Hubby has decided that the solution to everything that ails me is to 'go back to work'. FFS.

If I say I could do with some time out he tells me that I should go back to work so that I can have time out. FFS.

If I say that I get lonely on my own all the time he says that I should go back to work. FFS.

Considering I can't even leave bub in the creche at the gym for ten minutes I don't know how he thinks I could go back to work for two days. FFS.

Then I hear him on the phone to a mate telling him that we've decided I'm not going back to work until bub is at least three. FFS.

Maybe I could get his other wife to babysit for me. FFS.

  
Dear Baby G

2 comments :

  1. I love your FFS Fridays! I am due to have my baby in May and it is good to get a glimpse into the world I will be entering. I too have MIL that sounds eerily similar to yours - FFS :)

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  2. I do hope you are feeling better and if you ever want to catch up for a coffee let me know. The two non-sleepers might hit it off. Maybe the other wife can babysit both our babies and we can go have a long liquid lunch somewhere :)

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Hi, thanks so much for your comment!