Friday, 2 March 2012

FFS Friday

I have long hair, it's halfway down my back. I keep it long because that's the way hubby likes it. If it was up to me I'd have it shoulder length. FFS.

Because my hair is so long and constantly falling out, it's all over the house. FFS.

Hubby has a need to point it out to me every time he finds my hair somewhere. FFS.

Like I tear it out and put it there on purpose. FFS.

I told him if he doesn't shut up about it I'll chop it all off, that fixed him. FFS.

Sometimes I'm tempted to tear my hair out and leave it lying on hubby's pillow just to annoy him. FFS.

Last Friday the in laws were supposed to be coming to visit. I psyched myself up for it all day but they didn't turn up. FFS.

They came late on Saturday arvo instead, they couldn't come down earlier because they were busy. FFS.

They don't work. They have all week to do whatever it is they were 'busy' with. FFS.

I'm sure they get here late in the arvo so that I have to feed them tea. FFS. 

Friday night hubby decides to play a game. He looks in his drawer says to me "Where are my jocks?" Happy to play along with the game I reply "I don't know, where are they?" to which he replies "I don't have any clean jocks, they're all dirty." Thinking that maybe he isn't playing a game I clarify things with him and discover that he isn't joking and he really has no clean jocks. Hmmm. Big problem considering it's 10pm at night and I have no intention of getting out of bed to put some washing on. FFS.

I wash every second day so I'm rather confused about how he has no clean jocks. Turns out that he only has six pairs because he threw the rest out. As you do. FFS.

He then proceeds to get really annoyed with me due to the lack of clean underwear. FFS.

I decide to get out of bed to wash some jocks for him cause I'm a wonderful wife. FFS.

He comes into the bedroom as I'm dragging myself out of bed and announces that he's found a clean pair of jocks. FFS.

Saturday morning (at 5.30am) I put the washing on and realise that I haven't done any washing all week. Oops, wife fail. FFS.

Naturally I don't admit this to hubby, specially since I accused him of using more than one pair of jocks per day and told him that I'd done the washing on Wednesday. FFS. 

As if accusing him of wearing more than one pair of jocks a day wasn't bad enough, I also accused him of misplacing his jocks. As you do. FFS.

Washing is the only piece of housework that I usually manage to stay on top of, clearly I'm sinking to new lows of wifely failure. FFS.

Friday night bub came down with a cold. He was up every hour that night. FFS.

Saturday night I was looking forward to some assistance from hubby because he had Sunday off. We agreed that he'd take the first shift and I'd do the second shift. I went to bed at 8.30pm expecting to take over from hubby around midnight. He woke me up at 10.30pm. FFS.

Yes, two hours is all hubby could manage to look after bub for. FFS.

I got bub to sleep, went back to bed and hubby started complaining about everything he could possibly think of. FFS.

If whinging were in the olympics hubby would win a gold medal. FFS.

Thankfully I didn't hear most of it as I was overcome by a wave of nausea. FFS.

That then got me worried that I might be pregnant. FFS.

In the time hubby was whinging I somehow managed to convince myself that not only was I pregnant I was pregnant with twins. Another sure sign I've lost my marbles. FFS

Sunday morning after a rough night with our sick bub, hubby decides the only sensible thing is to go out for breakfast. FFS.

On the five minute drive to breakfast he decides that it'll be fun to play another game. This game involved seeing how many times he could nearly have a fatal car accident in a five minute journey. FFS.

In case you're wondering, the answer is three. FFS.

When I told hubby his driving was scaring me he replied, "it's all good". Like that made me feel so much better. FFS.

Sunday my waves of nausea continued and I realised that I was getting sick too. Great. FFS.

Hubby had to come home from work on Monday because bub and I both were sick. FFS.

Since bub's been sick he's been waking up every hour or two at night. FFS.

Tuesday Hubby finally paid the video store bill. That same day he got out two dvds and didn't take them back until Thursday. FFS. 

He didn't even watch both of them. FFS. 

When he bought them home he said he'd gotten one for me cause I'd been talking about it. He must have been thinking of his other wife cause I've never heard of it. FFS.

Perhaps he left his missing undies at his other wife's house. FFS.

Wednesday I lost my voice. FFS.

I still haven't found it. FFS.

The universe seems to know that I've lost my voice so everyone is calling me. I usually only get a few phone calls a week, I've been having at least five phone calls a day. FFS.

The cockroach chocolate is working. I know this because I am finding dead baby cockroaches all over the house. FFS. 

I have the MIL down here helping me whilst I'm sick. FFS.

She's driving me crazy! FFS.

I don't know which is worse, trying to look after a sick bub whilst I'm sick or putting up with MIL. FFS.

Dear Baby G


  1. You make me laugh every single friday! Love your work but I do hope you feel better soon xx

    1. :) Very glad I make you laugh and thanks. Look forward to lots of MIL and sick things in next weeks FFS post.

  2. Yuck! I hope you and bubs are on the mend soon. xx


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