Friday, 29 January 2021

FFS Friday - Fighter

Hello beautiful people.
I've been a bit quiet online this week. Wednesday was D (diagnosis) Day. We got the diagnosis that we expected. I'm not sure if I want to go in to details yet because it's not my diagnosis to share. 
 
We told Chai yesterday and he's thrilled. He said it was a dream come true. He's so excited and happily telling everyone. Not the reaction I was expecting. 
He told one of my friends he's happy about the diagnosis because now he understands why he's a bit different. 
 
I'm so relieved that he's taken it well.
 
Even though I was expecting it, my head is still spinning. I've started researching the treatments and therapies that he'll need. I've also started the NDIS and Centrelink funding applications. 
 
I'm keeping a list on my phone of all the things that we'll need. In a way it's overwhelming but it's such a relief to have answers.
 
Now I know why it's been such a struggle. I know that it's not my parenting and that it's not just me being incapable of coping with the demands of motherhood.
 
I'm so glad I didn't stop fighting and pushing for answers. It's been five years since I started trying to get help. Five years of people telling me that I'm imagining it, his behaviour is normal and I just need to discipline him more. 
 
They were all wrong. It's not my parenting, he doesn't need discipline, I don't need to learn how to parent better. 
 
Can you imagine the damage I would have done if I'd listened to those people and disciplined him more? Disciplined my child for behaviours that he couldn't control and was often unaware of!
 
All those people who told me there was nothing wrong can go take a flying leap.
They were so very wrong. Luckily I didn't listen to them.
 
All those stupid people who told me to stop trying and not to label my child. Without a label you can't get help. You need the label. It opens doors and lets you access the help that you need for your child. 

When I think back to all the bad advice I've been given from teachers, psychologists, Dr's and paediatricians I feel sick. I'm so glad that I had the strength and courage to ignore them and do what felt right for me. 
Yes, they're professionals but they were all, every single one of them, wrong. 
Taking their advice could have caused lasting damage to Chai's mental health.
 
My message to everyone is this. Trust your instincts. You know if there is something going on for you or your child. Keep fighting, keep searching for answers and don't give up until you've got them. If you get advice that doesn't feel right for you, seek other options. Don't do anything that feels wrong.
 

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