Friday, 23 September 2016

FFS Friday - Motherhood Failure

It's a given that if something is going to go wrong around here it'll happen when Tiger is away. Every. Single. Time.

Last Friday was the perfect example.

E woke up crying at 10pm. That's pretty unusual for him but he had a bit of wind so I thought that was the problem. I got him back to sleep and climbed back into bed. 

At 10.30pm he woke up crying in pain and saying he had a sore neck. He screamed every time he moved his head and I couldn't calm him down.

Chai woke up so I had both of them crying.

I gave Eljay panadol and waited, but he didn't get better.

When he said he had a sore neck the first thing I did was check for a rash. There wasn't one and he didn't have a fever, thank goodness. 

The after hours Dr didn't answer, so I started getting ready to go to the hospital. I had to lay Eljay on the bed and he screamed the whole time but I drew the line at going to the hospital in my pj's and dressing gown.

Chai cried the whole time he was getting ready, just to make things more fun.

As I was about to load them in to the car the after hours Dr called back. They were no help at all.

I loaded both the boys in to the car and headed to the hospital. On the way there Eljay stopped crying and wouldn't respond to me, so naturally I thought he'd passed out. Eventually I got a whispered response from him telling me that he wasn't okay. Poor baby.

Chai was still crying, he was crying because Eljay was sick, as you do.

We got to the hospital at 11pm. We left at 3am.

We got in there, waited a while and then were taken through to a bed. A nurse asked me a few questions, took Eljay's temperature and checked for a rash then told me a Dr would see us soon.

1000 Ways to Die came on the TV and I couldn't change the channel.

One of the nurses turned the tv off for me, but not before the boys had seen gross, bloody injuries.

When we eventually saw the Dr he didn't even touch Eljay!

He looked in his ears and throat then gave him nurofen.

He didn't check his glands or his neck, even though I told him that Eljay was complaining of a sore neck.

They didn't do an x-ray or anything other than give him nurofen.

The Dr told me that he didn't know what was wrong but that I should give Eljay panadol and nurofen and see the Dr in 3 to 4 days.

On the way home I saw a taxi on the side of the road with a man laying on the road in front of him. I didn't stop, no idea what that was all about.

When we got home I booked a Dr's appointment for Saturday morning. 

Thankfully the boys slept in, I was woken by Tiger calling. Three times.

I hadn't told him what was going on cause there was nothing to tell and no point giving him a sleepless night. When he called I answered, told him what had happened and that we were all sleeping. So he called back an hour later and woke me up again.

When everyone was up I had a think, cancelled the Dr appointment and booked a chiropractor appointment. We had to go straight there so I had a two minute shower, gave the boys a drink in place of breakfast and raced out the door. The chiro was twenty minutes late.

With that twenty minutes I could have given the boys breakfast, had a coffee and made myself look semi decent. Instead I spent it sitting in the waiting room trying to stop the boys killing each other.

Eljay's neck was a mess and it's why he was in so much pain.

The chiro massaged him, adjusted him with that clicky thing and told me to keep him on pain relief all weekend. Poor baby. 

Straight after the visit he was a lot better and by Sunday he was nearly back to normal. Just to keep me on my toes, Chai got sick on Sunday.

He got gastro.

Poor boy had it coming from both ends.

I ran out of the stomach calm medicine we use so went to get some but the chemist was out.

I went to another chemist but they were closed.

Chai was starting to feel really bad so we went home. 

He's not one of those kids who'll vomit into a bucket, he likes to make as much mess as possible.

When we got home he vomited all over himself and the lounge suite.

I gave him a bucket so he vomited on the lounge suite again.

The bucket was right next to him.

I went to bed expecting to be woken up by him vomiting all over me. Thankfully that didn't happen.

This week has been a motherhood failure.

I've totally sucked at parenting.

I don't even have a good excuse other than the usual tired and no time to myself.

Not good enough.

Chai's been off school all week.

He probably could have gone to school from Wednesday, but his belly was still a bit dodgy so I kept him home. 

Tuesday I took him for a therapy called Neuro Emotional Technique. It was very strange.

I have no idea if it helped but she said that he might be out of sorts for 24 to 48 hours. She wasn't wrong.

I feel like I'm about to explode.

Wednesday we'd been busy all day. I took the kids to three different parks and did everything I could to make sure they had a great day. We got home at 4pm and I was exhausted. I just wanted to sit down for five minutes, have a drink and a rest.

I got the kids settled, turned the tv on, gave them a drink and some food then sat down.

My bottom had just touched the seat when they started.

Mum get me an apple. 
Mum get me a drink.
Mum, I don't like this tv show.
Mum he's sitting in my spot.
Mum the dog is annoying us.

I lost it. I screamed at them to shut up and went to my bedroom.

The little fuckers followed me so I screamed at them to get out of the room.

They stood outside the bedroom door crying.

Nice work. Way to be a good parent. 

I eventually pulled myself together and apologised to the kids. I calmed them down and explained to them that sometimes I need a rest.

The rest of the evening was uneventful.

That night Chai wouldn't go to sleep.

I hate those nights. 

When he gets like that he won't stay asleep unless I'm in the bed with him.

I am so sick of sleeping with him.

It's been three years now and I'm done.

After crying for two hours he finally went to sleep. In my bed. 

I just wanted to watch The Bachelorette in peace.

Thursday wasn't much better. They were whinging, fighting and crying from the second they woke up. I just wanted to walk out the door and never come back.

We had to go in to town. As I was loading the kids into the car to come home my phone rang. I stood at the back of the car and Chai went in to panic mode because he couldn't see me. FFS.

I yelled at him to stop crying. 

Great way to deal with a kid with anxiety, yelling at them is really going to make it better. 

Luckily for all of us Chai went to sleep and stayed asleep Thursday night.

I got to watch The Bachelorette in peace. Bliss.

So far today I've managed not to yell at anyone but I still feel like I'm about to explode. 

Think I'm going to start having vodka in my morning coffee.

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