Friday, 22 June 2012

FFS Friday

It's Friday again! This week has been a bloody long one as I had the MIL here from Monday to Thursday. I have no idea how I survived, it was a feat of supreme human endurance.

Last Friday Mum and I were at the physio. I'd finished my appointment and was sitting in the car whilst Mum put bub in the back. We were the only car in the car park. I noticed that there was a car sitting next to our car and wondered what it was doing. Turns out a lady had decided to park next to our car. FFS.

Why she had to park next to us when the whole car park was empty is beyond my comprehension. FFS.

As Mum had the door open to put bub into the car, she couldn't park next to us. FFS.

When Mum (who didn't know that anyone was trying to park next to us) had finished putting bub in the car, the woman abused her. FFS!

We ignored her and started reversing. She got out of her car and walked behind us so we had to wait for her to slowly wander past before we could finish reversing. FFS.

She's lucky Mum was driving, I would have run over her. FFS.

Thanks to HB I discovered that my twitter was posting ChurpChurp tweets. I've never heard of ChurpChurp so I have no idea how this happened. FFS.

It somehow had permission to post on my behalf, so I revoked the permission. FFS.

My RSS feed is now magically fixed and I don't know why. FFS.

The in laws were here helping whilst I'm a cripple. FFS.

They came down Monday. FFS.

We'd arranged for them to get here after lunch, however true to form they arrived at 10am. FFS.

The main reason I need help is because I can't drive. FFS.

After the FIL has gone home, MIL announces that she won't drive in Perth. FFS.

So basically she's no use to me at all. Great. FFS.

MIL tried to use my percolator coffee to make a cup of coffee. FFS.

There are times when I think MIL is intent on making sure bub doesn't have fun. FFS.

She is over the top protective of him. FFS.

Monday I was hanging out the washing and he was playing in his favourite spot. It's an upside down tub that we have outside and it collects rain. Bub likes to splash and play with the water. I let him because he's a kid and getting wet and dirty is all part of the deal.

As soon as MIL sees bub playing with the water she tries to stop him. FFS.

I tell her that it's okay and to leave him alone. Naturally she has to argue with me. FFS.

Her first argument is that he'll get wet. FFS.

I tell her that it's okay if he gets wet, I'll put him in dry clothes once he's finished playing. FFS.

Her second argument is that he'll get dirty. FFS.

I tell her that the water is clean, but if he does get dirty that doesn't matter. FFS.

Her third argument is that he will get cold. FFS.

I tell her that being cold won't hurt him and that he'll warm up when we go inside. FFS.

Regardless of all this she tips the water off the tub so that he can't play in it. FFS.

So of course I tell her off. FFS.

MIL has so many annoying ways. FFS

I was changing bub's nappy and she obviously thought I'd done it up too tight because she asked me if he gets a tummy ache when his nappy is done up too tight. FFS.

I said I wouldn't know because I never do his nappy up too tight. That shut her up. FFS.

Stupid things MIL says:
"I bet you didn't know you were alive till you had him." Of course I knew I was alive before I had him, I didn't think I was walking around dead prior to his birth.
"Would you like to get me a dry towel?" No, I wouldn't like to get you a dry towel. I'll get you a wet towel though, I keep a pile of them just for you. 
After having a drink "Boy I must have been thirsty." What, you don't know when you're thirsty?
Two seconds after turning on the tap "Don't you have hot water?" No, we don't use hot water in this house, we only use cold water. It might help if you actually turned the hot tap on.

I could go on and on and on about how annoying MIL was as she drove me crazy the whole time, but I'll leave it there. FFS.

Tuesday bub wandered into the lounge room chewing away on a foil package. I looked at it and noticed that it was a condom. FFS.

Thankfully we aren't using contraception at the moment! FFS.

Wednesday out of desperation I try to drive and discover that I can. FFS.

This means that I've had MIL here for no reason at all. FFS.

The BIL keeps on ringing after 7.30pm wanting to talk to bub. FFS.

No matter how many times we tell him he just can't remember that bub goes to bed at 7pm. FFS.

This cold weather has been bringing out my inner bogan. FFS.

I want to wear trackies and ugg boots all the time and am seriously contemplating wearing them when I go out. FFS.

I'm even planning on getting a 'good' pair of trackies to wear when I'm out in public. FFS.

This will not end well. FFS.

I'm supposed to have another hydrotherapy session today however I don't think I can go. FFS.

Here's the reason: Since I've had bub I don't have any bather tops that fit me. My maternity ones are too big and my pre baby ones are too small. FFS.

My pre baby bikini tops make me look like one of those women you'd see in a men's magazine. FFS.

I have a top that sort of fits okay, however I didn't realise that my nipples were clearly visible through it until after I'd finished my hydrotherapy session. FFS.

No wonder all the men were smiling at me. FFS.

Have a great weekend!

Dear Baby G


  1. FHM just advised that they have permission to tweet on your account....

    1. Oh great. I hope they weren't secretly filming my hydrotherapy session.

  2. OMG. You are a saint. My MIL is beyond dumb. She's below the minimum scale. And that's not be being nasty - that's me putting it politely.

    I say unleash the inner bogan as it may scare her off. Or, you know, she may like it and join in. Shudder.

    Love that you're considering a pair of "going out trackies" - Just today I was in Kmart considering the same thing! To go with my leopard print slippers. Since leopard print makes then formal footwear. I figure I can then team them with trackies and it's still okay for the school run. Heh.

    1. Clearly I need some leopard print slippers to go with my 'good' trackies. Maybe I'll buy some leopard print socks and wear them over the top of my ugg boots, that could be a winner.

      Good idea about unleashing my inner bogan. Will try it next time MIL is here and report back with the results.

  3. HAHAHA I wish you could secretly tape your MIL I think it would be a Youtube sensation. I wear trackies everywhere during the week, if you move up to the hills they are fairly acceptable. We are not bogans up here, just hippies. Love that HB comments on your blog and not mine today. Bastard x

    1. What a great idea. I will buy a tiny camera and secretly tape MIL. Then I can get rich when everyone watches it on Youtube.

      Clearly I need to move to the hills, I'll fit right in with my trackies and sock covered ugg boots. I'd make a great hippie.

  4. I had y inlaws down to babysit on wednesday night, I said dont give the kids chocolate as it was bedtime and my 3 year old was possesed by the devil that day and did not deserve it, we get home and the baby is still awake with chocolate down his pjs!! ffs!!

    love your blog its inspiring me think about make up!1

    1. I reckon if people are going to give sugar to a child when they are told not to then they should have to look after the child for the night. Bet they'd only do it once then!

      Very glad to hear I'm inspiring you to think about make-up :)

  5. Oh my goodness, I've been living under a rock and am only catching up with blog reading - how's your knee?? You poor thing!! Your FFS posts are getting funnier and funnier :D xxx

    1. Hehehe, glad to know my humour is getting better with age. Hubby still doesn't appreciate my sparkling wit.

      My knee is okay, slowly getting better. Having MIL didn't help it though because I didn't get to rest at all.

  6. I saw your eye on FF and thought, what's my eye doing out without me?
    Honestly it's just so like mine!


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