Friday, 27 March 2020

FFS Friday - Stay strong

I'm back! I've been away longer than I expected so I've got lots to fill you all in on.

The surgery was tougher than I expected, then when I was back on my feet my computer wouldn't switch on. I wasn't in any state to deal with it, so I only got the computer working again on Tuesday. Turns out that the power cord had died. I've never heard of that before, how does a power cord that does nothing, die? I don't understand.
The computer was 2 years out of warranty but Lenovo replaced it anyhow, how good is that!

So, my ankle surgery. I had a lateral ligament repair and arthroscopy. I completely tore my ATFL and partially tore my CFL. The surgeon went in, had a look around and fixed my torn ligaments. I've never had repair surgery before, only an appendectomy and tonsillectomy so had no idea what I was in for. With my previous surgeries I was fine after two weeks. This surgery was not as easy.

Firstly, I totally underestimated how tough laying in bed with my ankle above my heart for two weeks would be. The cast was really heavy (I've never had a cast before) and being isolated was tough.
I stopped all pain meds two days after surgery and was only taking what they'd told me was an anti inflammatory.
Despite being on minimal meds my head was a mess, I couldn't keep my eyes open, the room kept on spinning and I was convinced I was dying of a brain tumour. Turns out I'm not, I was just having a reaction to the anti inflammatory which also happens to be a pain killer. FFS.

Once I stopped taking that things got a lot better. I could stay awake for more than a few hours, my head wasn't spinning and I didn't think I was dying. Nasty drugs.

A week after the surgery I landed back in hospital. I'd had a lot of trouble breathing and after two full days and nights of not breathing I went to the Dr.
She took one look at me, told me I was tachycardic and called 000. I had Tiger and the boys with me. Chai went straight in to panic mode, convinced I was going to die. The Dr was trying to talk to me, I was trying to calm down Chai, Tiger was getting angry at Chai's carry on, it was a total mess.

I got Tiger to call my sister to come and pick up the boys. The Dr got so flustered that instead of sending me to the nurses to be checked out she sent us downstairs. We were getting in to one side of the lift as the ambulance officers were getting out the other side. After a bit of tooing and froing they finally got me downstairs and in to the ambulance. I could hear Chai outside the ambulance screaming and begging the ambulance people not to let me die. FFS. 

They checked me out, I wasn't dying so they took me to hospital. I spent the night in hospital and they couldn't figure out what was wrong. My Dr can't figure out what's wrong. I'm still having trouble breathing and no-one can tell me why. FFS.

The Dr said that it could be anxiety and I should practise mindfulness. Surely if I had anxiety I'd know? I don't feel anxious? I've taken note of what happens when I'm struggling to breathe and I've never felt anxious. I'm confused. I've started meditating again and making a conscious effort to stay calm and grounded, but I still have trouble breathing so it's a mystery. 

My ankle is healing nicely. I got the cast off and could start partial weight bearing two weeks after the surgery. The wound is healing well and after fours weeks I could fully weight bear with my CAM boot on. 

I saw the surgeon Wednesday and my boot is off! Yay! I'm wearing an ankle brace and I've started physio! I'm so excited. I have a new physio, he's brilliant and says my ankle is strong so we can do intense physio and I'll be back to normal soon. I can't wait!

Whilst I've been recuperating the world has gone crazy. I really don't know what to say about that. It's scary.
Funnily enough it hasn't really changed our routine. We home school, go to the park when there aren't many people there and don't socialise a lot, so not much has changed for us. 

We're waiting to see if Tiger still has a job, but hoping that we'll be okay as his job is one of the essential services.   

Not being able to go to the gym and see any of our friends and family is tough, but we'll get through it.

I'll be posting resources on my Facebook page for all of you who find that you're suddenly home schooling. Just click on the post about resources and they're all in the comments. If you have any good resources please feel free to add them in the comments.

Stay strong beautiful people. 

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