Friday, 22 September 2017

FFS Friday - Towel Theory

So. It's no secret that I'm strange. Anyone who knows me can confirm that. I have many strange ways. One such strange way is my towel theory. I thought everyone had a towel theory but I've recently come to realise that they don't. 

Here goes.

I like to use my towel in a specific way to ensure that I'm not wiping bum germs all over myself. Bum germs are not good. I don't want to wipe underarm germs on myself either. To ensure this doesn't happen I have a specific method of drying myself. Yep, I know.

I dry my face first, using the very end of the towel. Then I wrap the towel around myself and dry the rest of my body. I dry my armpits and bum last, using the middle of the towel. Clever. That way I know that I'm never drying my face with the same piece of towel that I dried my bum with. Easy.

In an ideal world I'd have a towel that was different colours on each side, then I could dry my bum with one side and my face with the other side, in case the bum germs managed to spread along the towel when I wasn't looking. 

For the uninitiated, bum germs are similar to toilet germs. They spread if you are careless and must be treated carefully to ensure that you aren't overtaken by bum/toilet germs. It's a serious business.

A few other things that gross me out:
When you swim in the ocean knowing that the fish wee and poo in there. 
Flying on an aeroplane and breathing recycled farts the whole trip. 
Using public toilets.
Shaking hands with people. You never know where their hands have been. 

1 comment :

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