Sunday 13 June 2021

Thoughts of the week

1. I knew when I pressed publish on Friday's post I'd get a rude comment and of course I did. What I don't understand is why people are so rude now. Why attack instead of explaining? I wasn't rude or judgemental in my post, I was genuinely trying to understand. A rude comment didn't help me to understand. 
What did help is the twitter friend who without judgement, explained to me why people are upset.
 
2. If you can be anything, be kind.
 
3. It's people like the person who anonymously left a rude comment that make me scared for what Chai might face in the future. Being neurodivergent there are lots of things that he genuinely doesn't understand. It worries me that if he asks for clarification he'll be attacked, which will lead to him being silent when he doesn't understand something. 
 
4. Priceline's half price make-up sale runs from Tuesday to Thursday this week.
 
5. My home jungle is growing really well at the moment. I'll put a picture of it in my Instagram stories this week.

Friday 11 June 2021

FFS Friday - Say what?

We had another assessment appointment for Chai this week, this one was with a speech pathologists. 

So much time and money is spent trying to teach these kids how to interact with the world. How much time is spent teaching everyone else to interact with these kids who will soon become adults? There are so many neutrdivergent kids and adults around yet we're not teaching neurotypicals how to interact with them. Why should neurodivergent people change themselves to fit in with society? Why can't we just accept differences and let them be?
 
I think I'm missing a compassion gene. 
I've been reading about some people who came here by boat seeking asylum. They knew that anyone who came here by boat would not be settled in Australia. 
They applied for citizenship and were rejected so they've been appealing this decision for years. At every single stage of the appeal process they were told they would not be allowed to stay in Australia. 
Whilst they were appealing they were allowed to stay in a town. They had two children. Now they've reached the end of the appeal process and are facing deportation.
There's been a fuss made by the community saying that it's unfair and they should be allowed to stay in Australia. They're saying that it's not fair on the family or the kids.
I don't understand. 
They did something illegal. They knew all along what they were doing was illegal and that Australia doesn't accept illegal immigrants. Knowing this, they chose to have children. If leaving is unfair to the children, that's on them.

To me it's pretty simple. 
My bff thinks they should be allowed to stay. We had a good discussion about it but I still don't understand. 
Why would they think that they could break the law and get away with it?
How is that different to other people who commit a crime? We don't expect them to get away with it. What's the difference?
I genuinely don't understand. 
I've come to the conclusion that I must be missing a compassion gene, because I really just don't understand why people are so upset about this. 

Have a beautiful weekend lovely people. 
 
Edited to add: I've since had a discussion with a twitter friend who has explained the situation and now I understand why people are upset. People feel that the family should have been considered genuine refugees. If they were granted refugee status seeking asylum is not illegal and they would have been able to settle here. 

Sunday 6 June 2021

Thoughts of the week

1. I'm really tempted to get one of the new Mecca Max sheer shine lipsticks. They look so pretty.
 
2. This week I have an appointment at the gym to sort out a new program and eating plan. It's time I started looking after myself!
 
3. I'm also seeing Chai's psych to chat about ways to help him, looking forward to that too.
 
4. The cold weather is here and I love it. I have so much more energy when it's cold.
 
5. Instagram still isn't bringing me joy, not like it used to when it wasn't all about influencer marketing.

Saturday 5 June 2021

Saturday Stories

I've been thinking about something lately, I'm not sure I can articulate it correctly. 

It's about our ability to hold space for people and how we expect people to be able to do that for us.
 
I've been thinking about a few people I know who have ASD kids. I've known them for a while, their children have been diagnosed for years. They know the struggle I've gone through getting Chai diagnosed and yet they haven't offered any help or any kind words.
 
It's bothered me and I've spent quite a bit of time wondering why they haven't offered help. I've come to the conclusion that they can't. 
 
It's all well and good that we expect people to help, but we also need to understand that they may not have the capacity to help.
 
A few years ago I had a good friend who was an alcoholic. I tried my best to help her because she said she wanted to quit, but she continued drinking.
 
She went through a really rough stage right at the time I pulled Chai out of school and started home schooling. It was a very scary, overwhelming time for me. 
 
She was reaching out and asking for help every few days but I didn't have the capacity to help. I told her that however she continued to ask me for help. She even asked me to pick her kids up from school three days per week. This is all despite me saying I couldn't help.
 
In the end I stopped replying to her messages. I had too much going on in my own life.
 
She's now sober and recently wrote a message on FB thanking the special people who stuck by her. 
 
That really got me thinking and it made me realise that no matter how good a friendship or how much we like someone, we just might not have the capacity to help them and that's perfectly okay.
 
So when people don't show up and hold space for me, I won't feel let down, I'll understand that for whatever reason they aren't able to be there for me and that's perfectly okay. 
 

Friday 4 June 2021

FFS Friday - Bleaurghhhhhh

Hello Friday you beautiful thing. I hope you've all had a good week. If you haven't, I hope there have been a few moments of sunshine for you.
 
This has been the week of service abandonment for us. Just when I was feeling happy about having all the services we need in place, we now don't. 
First we got an email from the boys dentist saying that he's no longer practising down here. 
 
They go to a specialist paediatric dentist who costs a fortune but is brilliant with nervous kids. We're now on the hunt for a new dentist. The one I want to go to has a 6 month waiting list. FFS.
 
As if that wasn't enough, we then got an email from Chai's paediatrician saying that they no longer provide paediatric services. FFS!!!!!
 
After finally finding a paediatrician we now have to start again! As far as I'm aware most of the paediatricians in WA now have a 12 to 18 month waiting list. FFS. 
 
I give up. I don't think I'm even going to bother trying to find a new paed. What's the point? 
 
Lucky he's not on medication, if he was we'd have a serious problem. 
 
That's all I have to complain about. First world problems!
 
Have a wonderful weekend beautiful people.