Sunday 29 November 2020

Thoughts of the week

1. Who shopped the Black Friday sales? I bought dishwasher tablets, moisturiser for Tiger and my hair colour. There were lots of other tempting things but I don't need them. I really wanted to get the Bon Maxie mini sidekick in cobalt/gunmetal, but again, I don't need it.
 
2. The boys have their school disco this week and they're so excited. Parents aren't allowed but Tiger and I are both volunteering at the event so we'll get to be there.
 
3. Eljay has really come out of his shell since he started school. He's a quiet little introvert so it's been a huge change for him.
 
4. I have no Saturday Stories this week, my brain isn't working. I know what I want to write about, the words just won't come out.
 
5. I've got nothing else, my brain has left the building.

Friday 27 November 2020

FFS Friday - Profound

Warning: This post contains a lot of profanity, if you don't like swearing please stop reading now.
 
I believe that the one thing in life I have control over is my attitude. I can choose to be positive or negative, happy or sad etc. I choose to be happy and positive.
 
To my horror Chai has started swearing. Nothing I do stops him. I'm sure he was sent to me to teach me to be non judgemental. In the past I would have thought a swearing child was a reflection of their parents, I now know this isn't true. 
 
He's also started having raging tantrums, which the paediatrician has told me are another form of meltdown. FML.
 
The tantrums are happening most days and they're awful, but at the same time they can be highly amusing because he is trying his best to swear but he gets it so very wrong.
 
Monday he was having a huge meltdown. He was really upset and I was trying to calm him down until he screamed at me "I'm sick of this shitting fuck, I won't do this fuck any more. I've done it every fuck day, I'm not doing this shitting fuck again fuck."
 
At this point I had to stop trying to calm him down and walk away so that he didn't see me laughing. It was just so funny. Instead of being upset I spent the rest of the day laughing about shitting fuck. It's my new favourite swear word.
 
Wednesday was another meltdown. He started swearing before we even got out of bed. Sigh. 
It's exhausting, but I'm not focusing on that. Instead I'll focus on the next pearler he came out with. Eljay annoyed him so he screamed at him "You're a horrible shit asshole!" 
It's not quite as good as shitting fuck but it's still funny.
 
Dealing with Chai is exhausting. It's the most difficult part of my life and I really have no idea how I can do better. At the moment all I can do is keep plodding along, be relieved that I get a break whilst he's at school and hope that one day life will get easier. 
 
In the meantime I'm going to do my best to ignore the shitting fuck negative and focus on the positive. 

Tuesday 24 November 2020

Tatcha Pure and Glowing Trio first impressions

A little while ago I was chatting with one of my friends about skin care and she told me that she loves all of her skin care. I do not love mine. 
Not long after that discussion she very generously sent me the beautiful Tatcha Pure and Glowing Trio and I'm in love. 
I now understand what she means when she says she loves her skin care. Some products are just a total joy to use.
 
 
Firstly, look how beautiful they are! Clearly a lot of thought went into the packaging. That gold part on top of the moisturiser is a spoon! What a great idea. 
 

Whilst it's early days, I am loving using these beautiful Tatcha products. They're a joy to use and my skin feels very soft and smooth after I've used them. I'm really keen to pare down my skin care stash then explore more of the Tatcha range!


Sunday 22 November 2020

Thoughts of the week

1. This week has been rough. Chai's been having a lot of meltdowns, they're so draining.
 
2. I'm doing an end of year email detox. As each email comes through I'm making sure to unsubscribe to the ones that I don't read and most of the beauty ones because they just make me want to spend money on things I don't need.
 
3. I've been seriously thinking of starting some sort of no buy. I don't need any more things. In the past buying myself treats was the only nice thing I could do for myself. Now the boys are at school I have time to do what I want so I don't need to spend money on things I don't need. I also thought of saving the money that I would have spent on unnecessary purchases so that when I do need something the money is available.
 
4. Instagram has switched things around again so now I can't find anything. I'll manage to reply to comments as soon as I find where they've gone.
 
5. It's great for everyone in Adelaide that their lock down finished early.

Saturday 21 November 2020

Saturday Stories - Judgement

This Halloween, for the first time, we decided to go trick or treating with the boys. Chai loves dressing up and has always loved Halloween. 
 
In the past Tiger was always away so I'd take them to our local shopping centre. They did a great event where everyone would get dressed up, the kids would make a lolly bag then be given a map and they had to go to all the different shops to get lollies. I loved it because it was safe, indoors and only lasted an hour. The boys loved it because they got dressed up and got lots of lollies.
This year the event wasn't on due to covid.
 
We arranged for some friends to come over with their kids. They got to our house at 4.30pm and we were ready to go, however Tiger decided we'd have dinner first. We told him that we needed to go early but he knew best. 
 
By the time we got out of the house it was 7.30pm and most of the houses had run out of lollies. We had to drive and Chai was getting increasingly upset. We found a few houses that were still open, but most of them were finished. 
 
Our friends were following us in their car. After we'd unsuccessfully tried five different houses Chai had a meltdown. He was so upset, he'd been looking forward to trick or treating for months and it was a total fizzer. Instead of apologising properly, Tiger apologised totally inadequately once and then got angry when Chai didn't immediately calm down. 
 
The poor boy was devastated. So here we were driving around in the car, Chai was having a meltdown, Eljay was crying, Tiger was yelling at them and I was questioning my life choices. 
 
I managed to calm the boys down and we pulled up at one last house. The boys ran in, got their lollies, we said goodbye to our friends and off they went. 
 
By this time I was totally drained. I started thinking that they had absolutely no idea what had been going on whilst we were driving around. They probably though we had a great night. 
 
It just goes to show that you never really know what's going on in peoples lives. They were right there with us and yet had no idea the drama and stress that was occurring in our car. 
 
We just don't know what's going on behind the scenes for people. They might pretend that everything is okay and yet on the inside they ciould be on the verge of a meltdown. 
 
It's hardened my resolve not to judge. We're all doing the best that we can at any given time, and if sometimes our best isn't quite good enough that's totally okay. 
 
Be kind and gentle with others and yourself. You're equally deserving of the love and compassion that you show to others. 

Friday 20 November 2020

FFS Friday - The car

Happy Friday beauties.
 
I really don't understand some people. 
Last week I went to a meeting at Chai's school. It was about a free program that they're running for some of the children to help them better understand and control their feelings. 
This course is normally only run privately and usually costs at least $800. 
Some of the parents were there to decide if they're going to allow their child to do the course. WTF?  
That makes no sense to me. It's free, it's run by the school during school hours and requires minimal input from the parent. In fact, if you wanted to you could do nothing and that would be okay, so why wouldn't you let your child do the course?
I just don't get it. 
I'll take all the help I can get. If it changes Chai's behaviour and makes things easier for us at home, count me in.
 
Anyhow, enough about strange people, I need to tell you about my car. 
 
I've had my car for nine years, I got it a month before I had Chai. It's a station wagon which was perfect for when the boys were little and I was carting around a pram, scooters, bikes etc.
 
A few months ago Tiger and I started talking about selling my car next year and using the money to pay off two credit cards. The plan was to get a cheap car for him to drive to work and I'd drive his car. I wasn't overly happy about this because he has a big 4wd which I really didn't want to drive around, however I figured paying off two credit cards was more important than my desire to keep my car. 
 
Tiger mentioned to his parents that we were thinking of selling my car next year and they decided they wanted to buy it. Not content to wait until next year they started putting a lot of pressure on Tiger to sell my car to them. Every time he spoke to them they'd mention buying my car. 
 
They both said that they didn't want to pressure us to sell it, however that's exactly what they were doing!  I started to get quite annoyed about the whole thing, I didn't want to sell my car at all and here they were putting pressure on Tiger to sell it. They even tried to guilt him into it by saying that their car wasn't reliable, it was too difficult for MIL to get the wheelchair and walker into it, etc. 

I told Tiger he should help them to find a good car however they just wanted mine. 

To my great annoyance Tiger gave in to the pressure and started looking for another car. it was right in the midst of when the boys were starting school and I just couldn't deal with the extra stress.
 
He found a cute little VW. It's a very cute, zippy little thing. After he'd purchased it, I decided it was going to be mine. Tiger wanted it for his work car, however since he'd sold my car it was only fair that I got to choose which car I wanted and I didn't want to drive his big 4wd, so I took the little car. 
 
The next weekend Tigers parents came down to pick up my car. MIL took one look at it, said that it's bigger than she realised and that she wasn't sure if she'd be able to drive it. FFS.
 
By that time it was way too late, we'd already purchased another car. Plus, I've had that car for nine years, it's not like she hasn't seen it hundreds of times. She took the car for a drive and still didn't think she could drive it, but that was just tough luck. 
 
It's been over four weeks now and MIL is still trying to figure out how to turn on the lights, wipers etc (even though the controls are in exactly the same place as they were on her old car), but she now loves the car so that's good.
 
I love my new car, it's zippy and fun and it makes me feel lighter. Sounds silly but this car is for me and I like that. My old car was for the kids, this car is for me.

(Note: at any time if I'd said no to selling my car, it wouldn't have been sold, I just like to rub it in to Tiger by saying that he sold my car.)
 

Tuesday 17 November 2020

Hey Bud Australian Hemp Facial Moisturiser

Hemp is trending right now and I'm here for it. 
 
I've been using the Hey Bud Hemp Clay Mask for months now and really like it, so when they sent me their new moisturiser I was keen to try it.  
 
 
Isn't it pretty! The jar is glass and satisfyingly heavy. I'm planning to put a little succulent in it once I've finished the moisturiser, it'll look so cute. 

After four weeks of daily use I can happily say that this is a gorgeous moisturiser. It's light, hydrating, gentle and soothing. 

I use this as both a day and night cream. During the day I apply a light layer under my make-up, at night I mix it with face oil for an intense hydration boost.


 If you're looking for a moisturiser that is organic and cruelty free this is worth checking out. A 50gram pot costs $44.99.
 
Hey Bud products are vegan, gluten free, organic and cruelty free.
You can purchase from their website plus if you sign up for their newsletter you'll get 10% off your first order.

Sunday 15 November 2020

Thoughts of the week

1. Chai's paed appointment on Friday went really well. The Paediatrician was lovely, he listened to me and was very observant. I'm hopeful that we're finally on the right track.
 
2. I'm really enjoying The Killers new album, especially the songs Caution and My God. They've been on repeat all week.
 
3. If you haven't tried the Pana Organic spreads you are missing out. They are amazing. They're also expensive, so wait until they're half price, then buy two of each flavour.
 
4. Despite not believing in Santa, the boys want to do Elf on the Shelf this year. So I bought two elves and have started already. Silly me. It's fun though, the boys can't figure out if the elves are magic or if we're doing it. They suspect it's us but they aren't quite sure. Watching them trying to decide if it's us or not is really funny.
 
5. I'm thinking of doing a low buy again.

Saturday 14 November 2020

Saturday Stories - Perfectly Normal

I've been thinking about cellulite recently. I know, my brain is weird, just the way I like it.
 
Anyhow, cellulite. We're constantly bombarded with ads telling us that cellulite is not normal, it's something we should hate and eliminate. 
We don't see anyone on tv, Instagram, in magazines etc with cellulite, they're all airbrushed perfection. 
 
Here's the thing though. Over 90% of women have cellulite. Therefore cellulite is normal. If it's normal then we shouldn't hate it and we should not be shamed for having it, because it's normal. We don't shame men for having chest hair, it's normal for men to have chest hair. 
 
Cellulite is the same. It's normal for women to have cellulite. That doesn't make money though does it? So instead, we'll shame women and make them feel bad about their perfectly normal bodies so that a whole industry can make money off them.
 
I've had cellulite since I was in my early 20's. No matter what my weight (even medically anorexic when my Crohn's was bad), I still have cellulite, because cellulite is normal. 
 
A few weeks ago I did something I thought I'd never do. I bought bike shorts and short shorts to wear to the gym. I haven't worn them in the past because I have cellulite and spider veins that I usually cover up. But, it's getting warmer and I hate overheating at the gym. Last summer I eased up my workouts to deal with the heat but this year I don't want to do that, I want to get stronger. So, I got shorts and I'm going to rock those shorts even though my spider veins and cellulite will be on display.
 
Maybe by doing that I'll make another woman feel better about her perfectly normal, beautiful body. 
 
When I was buying the shorts the lady at Lorna Jane said to me (when I mentioned spider veins and cellulite) "So what, we all have those." She's right. We do. It's normal. 
 
It shouldn't even be called cellulite. I read a comment by a women who's Dad told her that cellulite is just a name that someone made up for the skin on women's legs. He's right. So instead of calling it cellulite from now on I'll just call it what it is, leg skin. 
 
You're all beautiful. Wear the shorts, they look amazing on you. 

Friday 13 November 2020

FFS Friday - The things I haven't said

Hello beautiful people. I hope you are all well. It's time for a life update, it's a big one so I'll probably break it into two parts. 
 
When covid hit and we went into lockdown, Tiger lost his job. It's the first time in seven years that he's spent more than two weeks at home (other than when Eljay was born). 
 
It only took a few weeks for him to realise how difficult Chai's behaviour is and that we need help. I've been telling him for years that we need help, however he's always thought that the problem was a combination of discipline and him being away. He's always believed that once he comes home everything will be okay. 
 
He was wrong. Everything is not okay. It's far from okay. 
 
Two weeks in and Tiger declared that he couldn't homeschool the kids. 
Hah, welcome to my world buddy. I was not sympathetic.
 
Chai's behaviour got increasingly worse despite Tiger being home. 
 
Eventually we reached the point where we just couldn't cope any more. I was totally broken and knew something had to change, so we started thinking about sending the boys to school. Tiger called the school that we've been wanting to get them in to for years. We aren't in the zone so every time we've called in the past they've said they won't take the boys. This time they didn't say no, they asked us to put in an application. 
 
We put the application in and they asked us to meet with the principal and our homeschooling moderator. I was feeling very nervous about the boys going to school and not expecting them to be accepted.
 
We went to the meeting and it went amazingly well. The principal raised every concern I had and offered solutions that I thought I was going to have to fight for. I was still in denial about them going to school.
I thought if they were accepted they'd start next year or in term 4 of this year. 
 
We met with the principal on Thursday and Eljay started school the Wednesday afterwards. I was so not prepared for it. I was an absolute mess. I felt sick, I couldn't eat or sleep, it was awful. I was so worried that I would be walking back into the situation we had when I originally pulled the boys out of school. How wrong I was.
 
Both boys were very excited about starting school and couldn't wait to get there. Chai didn't start until the next week and we agreed that he'd do a gradual return to school. 
 
Eljay did really well for the first few days then decided he hated it and didn't want to go any more. That was really rough. He was so upset and I hated sending him to school upset. Every morning a teachers assistant and two of his friends would be waiting in the car park for us and they'd take him into class. The poor little man really struggled, there were tears every morning. 
 
I knew it was going to be a challenge for him because he's only spend two nights away from me his whole life. The only reason I kept on sending him is because every day when I picked him up he was happy. His teacher kept in touch with me and let me know that he was okay and he was happy once he'd got to school. The principal also kept an eye on him, so I knew that he was okay. 
He now loves school and is happy to go every day, however he still prefers being home with me. 
 
Chai returned to school exactly three years to the day that I originally pulled him out of school. How serendipitous is that!
 
We were expecting Chai's return to be a challenge but it hasn't been. He absolutely loves school. There haven't been any teething problems or issues, he's thriving. 
Next week will be his first full time week. It would have been this week however we've got his Paediatrician's appointment Friday. 
 
This school is amazing. They are so wonderful with the kids, they are kind, considerate and positive. It's everything that I wanted from a school and more. 
 
I thought that the schooling system was broken. It's not, it's just the school that the boys originally went to. 
 
Whilst I was a basket case when the boys first started, it was also a relief. I just couldn't cope with having Chai home any longer. Now I feel like I can breathe again. I have time to rest, to think and to do things that I want to do. 
 
I've started cleaning and decluttering the house which is really satisfying. When I was homeschooling I quickly realised that I couldn't do everything and something had to give, so the house has been a mess for years. I hate living in clutter. Slowly but surely I am getting rid of the clutter. I'm doing the main living areas first because that's what I see most. It gives me great satisfaction to see all the areas that are now clutter free.
 
The school thinks that Chai may have ASD so we're getting an assessment for that, we have his appointment this morning. I really hope we like the paed and get some answers.
 
As if that wasn't enough, whilst all this was going on Tiger decided to sell my car, just to add to the stress. Come back next week for that story.
 

Wednesday 11 November 2020

Lanolips Fruity Babies

I've mentioned a few times that I haven't been impressed by any of the Christmas sets out this year, turns out that was a lie. I have found one that I love!
 
 
It's the gorgeous Lanolips Fruity Babies set. Look at how cute they are! For $14.95 you get three 3 gram tubes of 101 Superbalm in Coconutter, Minty and Strawberry.
 
 
Here's what they look like next to their full sized tubes. I love the mini sizes as they're great for carrying around and fit easily in my pocket. (Yes, I always have a lip balm in my pocket.)
 
Fruity Babies is available exclusively at Priceline. 

Sunday 8 November 2020

Thoughts of the week

1. America has it's first female vice president. What a wonderful, historic day it is for women.
 
2. I am still totally under whelmed by all the christmas beauty sets. I'm not mad about this.
 
3. I've started watching The Home Edit on Netflix and I'm obsessed. Being in the midst of a huge declutter helps too as it's giving me inspiration. I want to organise all the things.
 
4. I also want to toss all the things as we have way too much clutter.
 
5. I hope you're all having a lovely weekend.

Friday 6 November 2020

FFS Friday - Valuable

Happy Friday beautiful people.

I have good news. We got a paediatrician appointment for Chai! Next week! Finally.

So, you'd think I'd be happy about this. I am. What I'm not happy about is how we got the appointment.

I've been calling the Paediatricians office since the middle of September. I've told them that Chai is getting worse,we aren't coping and we really need help. I've called eight times. Each time I've got nowhere, they've told me that I'll hear something soon and just have to wait. 

Tuesday I got Tiger to call. I told him what to say, he called and was given an appointment straight away. Awesome. But here's what shits me. Why is it that when the Mum says she isn't coping nothing happens, yet when the Dad says we aren't coping people believe him?

The Mum says she isn't coping and it's her fault, she just can't handle being a Mum, or she needs to learn how to look after her child better, she doesn't discipline enough etc.

The Dad says he isn't coping and everyone jumps. Tiger didn't say anything that I hadn't already said and yet he was offered help and I wasn't.

Why are women undervalued so much? I'm willing to bet that most Mums cope with the kids better than the father does. In most cases Mums would be more in tune with the kids and more aware of what's going on with them, therefore their opinion should hold more weight than the Dads, however that's not how it works. 

 Also, why would a Mum lie and say she wasn't coping? It's a huge thing for a Mum to admit that she's not coping, not coping is generally seen as a weakness, so if a Mum says that she's not coping everyone should be jumping to help not judging. 

As a society we just don't value women and mothers. It's one of our major societal flaws. When we start valuing women and mothers the world will be a much better place.  

To all you beautiful women out there, never forget that despite what society tries to tell you, you matter, you are valuable and you are worthy.  

Have a great weekend beauties.

Tuesday 3 November 2020

October Empties

It's empties time! How did you do this month? I did pretty well, I'm pleased with the amount of products I got through.

L'Occitane Herbae body lotion
Oh how I love this gorgeous scent. It's a fresh, green scent that's perfect for summer.
 
Natures Fruits Coconut and Lime Conditioner
This is what we use to get rid of nits. It's cheap and smells good. Stupid nits.
 
Panier Des Sens Rose Geranium Shower Gel
This was part of my birthday gift. I was a little disappointed as I expected it to have a lovely rose scent but it didn't, there was barely any scent at all.  

Nivea Indulgent Moisture Shower Gel
Tiger uses this, it doesn't irritate his sensitive skin and it's usually on sale so is super affordable. 
 

YSL Black Opium perfume
I don't usually wear heavy, oriental fragrances but this was quite nice. It's not the sort of perfume I'd buy, however Tiger really liked it so maybe I should. 
 
La Roche-Posay Thermal Spring Water
This is a must have in our house, especially in summer. I use it for extra hydration, as a cooling spray and on Chai's rashes when they're stinging. 
 
Laneige Water Bank Hydro Essence
This was lovely and hydrating. I'll probably buy it next winter when my skin is super dry and flaky.
 
Kopari Coconut Deodorant
My all time favourite natural deodorant, regular readers are probably over seeing this.
 
Ombra Daily Defense
Yet another sunscreen that irritates my eyes, so I use it on my neck, chest and arms. It's a lovely sunscreen and I can see why people rave about it. Once absorbed it's undetectable and doesn't leave you with that horrible greasy feeling at the end of the day. 
 
La Roche-Posay Pigment Serum
Despite being designed for sensitive skin, this really didn't work for me. I have no idea why I persisted with it, I should have given it away. It irritated my skin and made it dry, rough and horrible. 
 
Malin+Goetz Bergamot Deodorant
I had high hopes for this, it smells lovely but just doesn't work at all. It wasn't even hot when I was using it, so it'd be absolutely useless in summer. 
 
MooGoo Shea Sorbet
Oh how we love these little pots of magic. Shea Sorbet can be used all over the body and face. The little tubs are so cute and they smell good too. I mainly used it on Chai's rashes and as a lip balm.
 
Sampar Lavish Dream Cream
Lavish Dream Cream sounds so luxe.I found this to be nice but not amazing. I really do expect miracles from my skin care, it's probably why I'm disappointed so often. I would buy this again when I just want a decent quality moisturiser.
 
The Body Shop Vanilla Pumpkin Hand Cream
How good are The Body Shop hand creams? I love the vanilla pumpkin scent.
 
Go-To Zincredible
After reading all the reviews I was expecting to hate Zincredible, however it worked really well for my dry skin and I'd happily buy it again. 
 
La Roche-Posay Anthelios
Here's another product you're probably sick of hearing about. It's awesome. 
 
The Jojoba Company Jojoba
I dont' know how many bottles of Jojoba I've gone through. It's such a great product. I like to use it as a night cream in winter and why my skin needs extra hydration. 
 
Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream Hand Cream
If you don't mind the scent of Eight Hour Cream then this is a lovely, rich hand cream. It saved my hands from the damage hand sanitiser was doing to them.  
 
Derma E Vitamin C Concentrated Serum
This was nice and I'd happily repurchase it. I got a few weeks use, it didn't irritate my skin, absorbed quickly and played well with my other skincare. 

Dermalogica Physical Defense

I've found another sunscreen that doesn't irritate my eyes! Typical that it'd be an expensive one. I really enjoyed this sunscreen, it's good for my sensitive skin and eyes. I'll consider buying a full size. 

These are my tosses. 

The Covergirl foundation just doesn't work for me anymore, the Flower Beauty lipstick is not my colour, the Stila blush, Danearth lip balm, EOS balm, MOR hand cream and Caudalie tinted moisturiser are all super old, the EOS crystal lip balm is crap.

I really wanted to love the Edible Beauty Luminous Angel Highlighting Creme but it's just too dark for me. I tried to make it work but I couldn't.

Sunday 1 November 2020

Thoughts of the week

1. Happy first day of November.

 

2. This week I received another rejection letter for Chai. I've still been unable to get any help for him. Some days I feel like we'll never get the help we so desperately need.

 

3. Who's purchased any of the holiday gift sets? I've purchased nothing. I usually want lots, but this year nothing's tempting me.

 

4. When did we become so intolerant of people being human and making mistakes? We're so quick to judge people in the public eye, we expect them to be perfect. It's not very reasonable.

 

5. I'm buying myself a Bon Maxie Sidekick bag this evening. I can't wait to get it!