Sunday, 15 May 2022

Thoughts of the week

1. We've had our fire on this week, it's been lovely. I love winter.

2. I am on the hunt for a new handbag. Now that I'm working I'd like something bigger. I want a big, soft, slouchy leather bag, with pockets on the outside and a handle long enough to be used crossbody. So far I'm not having any luck with my search.

3. Did you know that slides are awesome in the rain? When it's pelting down I take the boys to the park and they have a ball on the slide, it's like a water slide. They go flying off the end and love it.

4. I had to take a day off work this week because the boys were sick and it once again got me thinking how much easier life would be with family support.

5. There's a few retailers doing beauty elections at the moment, then posting for you to check out what's best in beauty. Seems silly to me because it's not really what people vote as their favourite products, they have to choose from a limited number of products, so you really only know what people prefer from the limited list that was available to them.



Friday, 13 May 2022

FFS Friday - Less

Hello beautiful people. How are you doing? I hope you are all well.
 
Now that I'm officially a working person, life has gotten busy. Not busier than it was before, just more challenging. Chai isn't enjoying it. Eljay isn't really enjoying it either. 
I am. I'm loving it. Working gives me time out where I'm not a mum, I'm just me. It's a whole day where I'm not thinking about anything other than the task I'm doing and it's great. I find it so relaxing. Even though the job can be busy, not thinking about mum things is wonderful. 
 
I hadn't realised how much time I spend worrying about the family. Now that I'm working I feel so much more relaxed. I wasn't expecting that. I was expecting to feel more stressed but I don't. I feel so calm. Spending whole days not worrying about therapies and things for the boys is lovely. 
 
Who knew that adding more things to my to do list would result in less stress? Fingers crossed I find more regular work, then I can be less stressed long term. That would be lovely. 
 
Added to that, I'm really enjoying working. It's nice being around people again, it's fun learning new things and it's good to feel like I have a purpose again. 
 
Other than working, I've just been trying to avoid COVID. It's everywhere at the moment and I don't want to get it. Mask mandates have been removed but I'm still wearing my mask. I was initially excited about being able to wear make-up and lipstick again, but with the number of cases constantly on the rise, I'm more concerned with not getting sick.  

There are so many local businesses either closed or with restricted hours because of staff off with COVID. Other businesses are operating with a skeleton staff. The people who are at work seem so stressed trying to deal with everything. One business I went into yesterday told me they haven't even been able to answer the phone because they're so short staffed. 
 
In other, wonderful news, it's cold! And wet! Perfect weather. I have the fire going as I type this and it's lovely. Winter is my favourite time of year. 
 
That's all I've got for today. 
 
Have a lovely weekend beautiful people. 


 
 
 
 
  

Sunday, 1 May 2022

Thoughts of the week

1. I worked three days this week. It's the most work I've done outside the home in the last eleven years. Returning to work has been interesting. I've had to get new clothes and realised that I have no idea what to wear to work now. After being in a leadership position, not being a leader is interesting.

2. I would so love to get a job where I could move up the ladder, but I just don't see how it's possible. There's one that I'm really tempted to apply for, but it seems pointless when I won't be able to the required hours. 

3. Mecca beauty loop boxes came out this week so I placed my first Mecca order in a long time. I got the new Bobbi Brown Corrector stick and one of the Too Faced heart shaped lipsticks. Can't wait for it to arrive.

4. Our mask mandates ended at midnight Thursday. I'm not sure about not wearing a mask. I'm really excited to wear make-up and lipstick again, but I don't know how comfortable I am with the increased risk of getting sick.

5. When the end to the mandates was announced I excitedly pulled out all my lip products. I had to hunt around to find my make-up. I'm not sure I even remember how to put make-up on, it's been so long.


Friday, 29 April 2022

FFS Friday - Cropped

I have a funny story to tell. My MIL loves to bring us gifts. She's always bringing stuff for the boys and sometimes brings things for Tiger and I. She does most of her shopping at op shops so some of the things she brings are interesting. 
 
It's been a while since she bought anything for Tiger and I, however a few weeks ago she decided to send us presents. Brand new presents. She sent a gym bag for Tiger. It's huge and he already has a gym bag so he's going to use it as an overnight bag. She decided to get a top for me. I tried to talk her out of it as I didn't want her spending money (she's a pensioner), however she insisted. I told her I'd need a medium.
 
She went to the sports shop and bought me a tshirt. When it arrived and I modelled it for Tiger he laughed. When I showed Mum and SD they both laughed. She bought me a small crop top. Hahahaha!
 
I think she forgets that Tiger and I are not kids any more, we're nearly 50. This almost 50 year old does not wear crop tops. The sad thing is that it's brand new and there's no way I'd wear it. I'll give it to a friends daughter otherwise it'll just sit at my house collecting dust. 

 

Not a good look


I sent this photo to a friend and she told me to definitely not wear it out of the house hahahaha.

We thanked MIL and told her that I love it. I just hope she doesn't expect to see me wearing it next time she visits.

 Have a wonderful weekend beautiful people.

 

 

Sunday, 24 April 2022

Thoughts of the week

1. You know when you do someone a favour and it bites you in the bum over and over again, like the gift that just keeps on giving? That is happening to me at the moment.
 
2. The weather is cooling down. I'm so glad winter is on the way.
 
3. Who shopped the Sephora sale? I stocked up on our WelleCo Supergreen powder and that's it.
 
4. I was very tempted to get one of the Espressoh lipsticks but it's pointless at the moment as I'm only wearing lip balm. I'll get it once the mask mandate is over.
 
5. I start regular casual work next week. It's going to be fun (I hope).

 

 

Friday, 22 April 2022

FFS Friday - Hunting

Hello beautiful people. How are you all? I hope you are well and happy and life is wonderful. If it isn't, I hope things ease up soon.

So. School goes back next week. I've enjoyed the holidays. I like having my boys home. 
Over easter my Step Dad came over and painted our main living area. He even painted the ceiling! 
Our house was built in 2007. Back then taupes, creams and feature walls were popular. It was painted cream with taupe and cool dark brown feature walls. I was glad to get rid of it. It's now all white with no feature walls and it looks so much better. 
 
Tiger didn't want white, but SD agreed with me so we painted it white. Tiger is now sold on the white, it's fresh and bright and looks so much better. 
 
It was also a good chance to get rid of some stuff. This house has no storage at all, so crap accumulates easily. As much as I fight it there's always crap accumulating. I'm the only one in the house that tries to clear the clutter, when it's one against three I have no chance of winning. 

I saw Chai's psych last week. She asked me to come in without Chai so she could tell me how worried she is about him. She thinks he needs a whole new assessment because she suspects that he might have other, undiagnosed conditions. FFS. We do not need this. 
I wasn't going to say anything to Chai but my cousin told him. I'm not happy about that at all. Thanks to my cousin, Chai and I discussed it. He's not fussed so that's good. (I didn't tell him what conditions the psych thinks he has).

We're going back to his Dr today to try to get some help. We have an appointment with his paed at the end of June but I'm going to get referrals to two more paediatricians as I suspect our current one won't be around much longer. 

It's so frustrating trying to get answers. Not having continuity of care doesn't help. We've seen so many different health professionals. I'd love to find one good paediatrician that we could stick with, it would make things so much easier. 
 
Seeing my little boy struggle is awful. I feel so bad for him. He has so many challenges, it's heartbreaking to watch. He's at the age where he's really noticing the differences which is so tough for him. I just want to cuddle him tight and fill him full of love and joy. If only the world could be more understanding of peoples differences. 

Added to that, getting help is really expensive. A reassessment will cost around $5,000 and we'll get back $70 back from medicare. We paid for his last assessment with our credit card, I'm not sure how we're going to pay for the next one.   
 
We're currently trying to pay off our credit cards. One will be paid off and closed soon, then we're going to do the same with our other card. The last thing I want to do is use the credit card again, but we might not have any choice. If it's a choice of debt or my child's health I'll choose debt every time.  
 
I know we're lucky that we have the credit card option, a lot of families don't have that luxury. 
 
So once again I'm on the hunt for answers for Chai. As exhausting and demoralising as it is, I won't stop searching and fighting for answers for my boy. I'll eventually get the diagnosises and treatments he needs. When I do all the stress will have been worth it. 
 
You know what's good about all this? After all these years of struggling and fighting for help and answers I'm being proven right. I've said all along that things are not right and I've been correct. 

The moral of the story is, don't accept answers that don't seem right to you. You know yourself and you know your child. If you think something is wrong then it is. Keep on searching and fighting until you get the answers that you need.

Have a wonderful weekend beauties.

Sunday, 10 April 2022

Thoughts of the week

1. It's school holidays! We get a break from having to be up and out of the house first thing in the morning. I get a break from having to be organised. 
Chai is happy about the holidays, Eljay is not. He'd much rather be at school.
 
2. We still don't have Lancome Juicy Tubes in Australia. I messaged Lancome last year and they said we'd have them by the middle of the year. Nearly 12 months later we still don't have them.
 
3. I've found a job that I really, really want. There are two problems. It's full time and it's based in the city. I wish that everything wasn't based around the capital city. I don't understand why more organisations don't branch out to the regions. Land and rent is cheaper and the workforce is available.
 
4. Bon Maxie have released a phone wallet. It sold out within hours of it's launch. I want one. I've decided it's going to be my birthday present. Hopefully they'll be back in stock before June.
 
5. That's all I've got.

Friday, 8 April 2022

FFS Friday - Blank

So. The Will Smith thing. I'm not going to talk about that. But I am going to talk about what triggered him. Rude comments being made about his wife. Not okay is it? But if we pretend it's a joke then it's okay? I've never understood that. Why should people accept something awful being said about them or their loved ones because it's said as a joke? It's still not okay. 
 
I can't watch shows where they roast or make jokes about people, it just seems cruel and unkind. Even worse when that person is sitting there listening and the camera is on their face to get their reaction. It's so very cruel. Expecting someone to sit there and laugh whilst they're being humiliated is wrong.
 
Perhaps it's time for it to be called what it is, cruelty. 
Cruelty is not funny and should be called out. Just not with violence, that doesn't stop anything. Now, instead of the attention being on the cruel act, all the attention is on the reaction. 
 
It happens a lot in society and it's not kind. People say awful things then pretend they're joking. Joke or not, it's still not acceptable. 
The world will change with kindness, not with cruelty.
 
That's all I have to say today.
 
 
 
 
  

Sunday, 3 April 2022

Thoughts of the week

1. I've only done four days work so far, but I'm really enjoying it. I'd forgotten how much I enjoy working.
 
2. It's also helped me remember that I'm ambitious and I want a career again. It's not going to be possible for a few years more, but I'm okay with that.
 
3. Here's your reminder to wash your make-up brushes and unsubscribe from email lists.
 
4. Sol de Janeiro has a new body cream out that looks interesting.
 
5. I've discovered Heardle, it's much better than Wordle.

Friday, 1 April 2022

FFS Friday - Well

Parenting Chai is the hardest, most difficult part of my life. He's a gorgeous boy but life isn't easy for him and that breaks my heart. I wish that I could make his life easier. I'm constantly searching for ways to make his life easier. 
 
Tiger is not doing anything to help. He took eight months to read Chai's diagnosis report, has done nothing to educate himself about any of Chai's conditions and does nothing to help make life easier for Chai. 
 
I gave up trying to get him to be involved in managing Chai's therapies years ago, he's just not interested. Truth be told, he was one of the many people over the five years it took me to get Chai diagnosed, who said that there wasn't anything wrong. He regularly told me I was wasting money when I was trying to get help. Clearly I ignored him.
 
I've accepted that I have to deal with everything myself, but what really annoys me is when I make a decision and Tiger criticises it. As far as I'm concerned, if he chooses not to be part of the decision making process, he has no right to criticise any decisions I make. That's not how it works. Either we make decisions together or he keeps his opinion to himself. Simple.
 
A few months ago Chai and I decided to try medication. We've tried in the past and it has failed badly, but Chai wanted to try again so we did. 
As usual, the medication didn't work, it made things worse, so Chai is no longer taking it.
 
Tiger won't stop carrying on about what a mistake it was. Every time he brings it up I shut him down. I tell him he refused to be a part of the decision making process so he doesn't get to complain. It's not stopping him. I'm over hearing about it. 
 
I had an appointment with Chai's psych yesterday and it's left me feeling even more worried than I normally am. She confirmed everything I was thinking which is not a good thing. 
 
The discussion went like this:
Psych: He isn't going to cope at a mainstream high school.
Me: I know.
Psych: But there are no other options.
Me: Yep.
Psych: He really needs to be under the care of a psychiatrist.
Me: I know. 
Psych: But you can't get in to one.
Me: Yep.
Psych: You really need the care of a good paediatrician.
Me: I put in 19 applications, got 11 rejection letters and the other 8 never got back to me. I'm going to see if I can find practitioners in Sydney or Melbourne who'll do telehealth.
Psych: That's not ideal for him but it'd be better than nothing. They've all got long waiting lists though.
 
How the f@ck am I supposed to get help? How am I supposed to make things better? There are no services, I can't get in to a paediatrician, I can't get in to a psychiatrist, I can't get an OT, I can't get to see the Educational Psychologist, I can't get any of the services that we need. WTF am I supposed to do? Move to another country where there are services available? I can't get help through the public or the private health system. We pay a small fortune in private health cover, yet I can't access the help that we need. 
 
I am so very worried for the future, especially next year when Chai starts high school. Without the help and support that he needs I don't know what's going to happen. 

Swift action needs to be taken to ensure that people can access the services they need. It won't though and people will continue to struggle. Families will continue to be broken, parents won't cope and children will be raised with so many issues that they wouldn't have had if they were able to access the services they needed.

Enough whinging. I hope you are all well and have a beautiful weekend.