FFS Friday

Hello beautiful people. How are you all? I hope your week hasn't been too difficult. 

As usual I'm exhausted. Last weekend we went away. As per usual, it was not smooth sailing. Being out of routine is really difficult for a neurodivergent child and really exhausting for me. This time it almost broke me. In fact I think it did break me. 

I've been wondering for a while when the constant stress will break me, I know that it will but at the same time I don't have an achievable solution on how to make life easier. 

Anyhoo, to cut a very long story short, we went to the city and spent an entire day at a shopping centre. It was hell, I knew it was going to be hell and it was. I hadn't slept the night before so I was exhausted when we got there. Shopping centres are not fun for me, I am not a shopper and do not like being there. 

We spent a lot of time waiting around for people to go to the toilet or look at random, boring shops. By the end of the day I was over it. We were standing outside a shop, both the boys were talking to me at the same time and wanting me to answer them, Tiger was also talking to me and wanting me to make a decision about something and MIL was talking too. I am not sure what happened but I hit the end of my tether. I didn't know whether to run or sit down and cry. I yelled that I'd had enough and needed to go. They all looked at me like I was being totally unreasonable. I was so tired when we left that I could barely keep my eyes open. It took three days before the total exhaustion wore off. Thankfully I'm now back to my normal level of exhaustion. 

My current stress levels aren't healthy or sustainable but what's the solution? If there is one my psch and I don't know what it is. All I get from professionals (other than my psych) is to practice mindfulness and meditation. Whilst that might be helpful in some instances they are not helpful for my situation. The other parents in my situation that I speak to all have respite options available and that's how they get through. I don't have that so I suppose I'll just keep going and hope that things get easier sometime in the next few years. 

Right, that was a big whinge wasn't it! What a downer. I'll try for more entertaining content next week!

Have a wonderful weekend beautiful people.