Friday, 18 March 2022

FFS Friday - Moral

It's story time.
 
Years ago we had a lovely friendship with another couple. We knew them for years and all got along until they separated. When they separated we remained friends with them both.
 
After a while the male started making bad choices and going off track. First he lost his job because he punched a workmate, then he lost his unit because he was rude to the owner so they wouldn't renew his lease, then he lost his transport because he had a car crash, etc. It just got worse and worse. Watching him make bad choices was tough, trying to support him through it all was even tougher. 
 
Eventually his mental health took a sharp decline and he became quite erratic. I wasn't comfortable being around him as he was behaving very strangely. He'd ring and ramble on for hours, even when I told him I couldn't talk. At the time we'd just moved down south, I was six months pregnant, had a two year old and Tiger was FIFO. One of the last times I talked to this friend he called whilst Chai was in the bath. I explained that I couldn't talk because Chai was in the bath but he kept on talking so in the end (after half an hour of him talking and me telling him I couldn't talk), I hung up. 
 
After that he kept on calling and asking for our address and saying he wanted to visit. I told him I was happy for him to visit when Tiger was home but not comfortable with him being there whilst Tiger was away. He was really pushy about getting our address but I wouldn't give it to him. The last time I spoke to him he said if I didn't give him our address he'd come down and drive around until he found me. It was really strange.
 
After that I stopped answering his calls. 
Tiger continued to speak to him for another few weeks until the day when he said to Tiger that he could disable him, have his way with me and there was nothing Tiger could do about it. 
 
That was the last time Tiger spoke to him.
 
We've had nothing to do with him for the last eight years. No phone calls, no emails, nothing. 

A few weeks ago Tiger got a phone call from a mobile number he didn't recognise. He was busy so didn't answer. It was our ex friend, who left a message asking Tiger to call him back. 
I told Tiger to block him and be done with it. 
A few days later Tiger got another phone call with a more insistent message telling him to answer his phone. I again told Tiger to block him. 
He didn't. Tiger messaged and said he was busy, to which the ex friend replied that he wanted to come and visit us! WTF?
Tiger said that we were busy.
I told Tiger he should have blocked him. Tiger feels like he owes him an explanation.
 
Last week I had a call from a number I didn't recognise. I don't answer numbers I don't recognise. When I listened to the message, guess who it was? Yep. I didn't listen to the whole message, I'm not interested.
I blocked him straight away. 
 
I am not going to enter into a discussion with him. I owe him nothing. I don't owe him an explanation, I don't have to talk to him.
If I hadn't blocked him, his calls and messages would have caused me stress. I don't need any more stress.
 
I have no idea how he got our phone numbers, but we've had the same numbers for years so maybe he still had them. If I find out that someone gave them to him I'll be having a word to them about protecting my privacy and safety. 
 
Here's the moral of my story:
It's okay to block people. You don't owe an explanation to anyone. If you don't want to talk to someone that's okay. Block and move on. Protect your space. Conserve your energy for the people who are important to you. Block and delete the people who don't add value to your life. 
 
End of story.

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