Friday, 5 February 2021

FFS Friday - Lockdown

Hello Friday!
Well this week hasn't gone to plan. Instead of the boys being back at school and me being a week into my huge house declutter we've been on strict lockdown. 
What fun that's been!
We found out early Sunday afternoon that we'd be entering lockdown at 6pm Sunday evening through to Friday 6pm. 
This meant that school holidays were extended for a week. 
Chai was extremely upset and had a meltdown that lasted for half an hour then was angry for the next three hours.
Eljay was thrilled, he didn't want to go back so having an extra week off was great news for him. 
Me, well I was happy and concerned. Happy not to be back into the school morning rush, concerned at how I was going to keep Chai happy whilst confined to the house for a week.
Tiger still went to work so it was me and the boys at home. What a long week it's been. Chai had lots of meltdowns, I felt like having meltdowns too. 
I envy the families who breeze through lockdowns, we don't.  

We went out riding every day and kept as busy as possible. The boys had way too much screen time, but that's just the way it is and I don't feel bad about it. As John Lennon said "Whatever gets you through the night."

As always, we survived. What other option was there?
I wonder if people realise that? When you're going through a rough time, it might feel like (or be) the worst thing ever, but you survive. You get through it, second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day. 
You get through it because there's no other option. 
Wednesday evening I got the draft report for Chai. It was very confronting and not at all what I expected. He has ASD and a few other conditions that it affect him a lot more than I realised. I'm really worried about how it will affect him long term, but this report gives me the information that I need to get the appropriate support. 
It's all new and I'm still trying to get my head around it. Once I get the official report I'll be able to start the wheels turning and get him the help that he needs. 
I feel like taking the report to all the people who said there was nothing wrong and shoving it in their faces. The teacher who said he was just naughty and asked me if I disciplined him at home. The psych who told me it was up to me to heal my family. The psych who told me that parents who don't medicate their children are non compliant. The paed who told me that he didn't have ASD because he offered him a chewie. My cousin who thinks he just needs a good belting. I could go on.
They can all take a flying leap into the nearest dung pile.  
I'm not even going to tell those people about his diagnosis, they don't deserve to know. 
I don't know what to do about telling people. At the moment I'm letting Chai tell the people that he wants to. He's telling everyone. He happily announces it to everyone we see.
I'm not sure if it's something I'm going to tell people. It's not a secret but I also don't think that everyone needs to know. I'm worried that he'll be judged if people know. 
The diagnosis hasn't changed him, he's still my beautiful little boy. I want people to see that and not see the diagnosis.
Plus, medical conditions aren't something that I tell people so why should it be any different with Chai? I don't tell everyone I meet that I'm an asthmatic or that I have Crohn's. It's not a secret but at the same time it's not something that I announce to everyone I meet.
In the end these are just a few more hurdles that we need to get over and that's exactly what we'll do. 
Fingers crossed we're out of lockdown at 6pm today!

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