Saturday, 5 September 2020

Saturday Stories - Trust

Here's another great lesson my ex taught me.

Don't trust blindly

Trust is something that's earned, but once given it can also be taken away. When I was younger I didn't realise that, I thought if someone was trustworthy they would remain that way. Unfortunately that's not always the case. 

Here's the back story.
When I met my ex he was a hard working, trustworthy man. He didn't drink much, didn't take drugs and wasn't into the party scene.

After we'd been together a few years we moved to Perth where he got involved with someone I later discovered was a drug dealer (the drug dealer is now serving a very long jail sentence). I didn't like him and refused to let him into my house, there was just something about him I didn't trust. 

My ex started going out drinking with the drug dealer and coming home in the early hours of the morning. Some weekends he'd stay out all night. His behaviour changed and I didn't know why. 

I was an innocent country girl who knew nothing about the drug and clubbing scene. One of my friends suggested that he might be taking drugs so I asked him. 

Instead of denying it outright, he got all self righteous and angry that I'd accuse him of taking drugs. I now recognise that his refusal to deny it was proof that he was talking drugs.

I took it on face value and assumed that if he was taking drugs he'd tell me (stupid, why would he?)

There were several things that didn't add up. For example, one morning I was walking to martial arts and saw him coming home in a taxi. When I got home I asked him where he'd been and he said he'd stayed the night at a friends house. I asked why he was coming from the opposite direction to the friends house and he said they'd had to take a detour. Lies.

Other nights he'd say that he'd slept at a friends house but couldn't explain why his clothes weren't screwed up. 

Each time he'd actually been coming straight from the nightclub, he'd been up all night. 

All the clues were there, but I had blindly given him my trust so I ignored them.

Trust people, but don't trust blindly. If things don't add up, find out more. Just because someone is trustworthy at the start doesn't mean they can't change. 

Don't be paranoid, just be aware. 

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