Friday, 28 June 2019

FFS Friday - Gone

Lately I've been trying very hard to count my blessings, not take things for granted and be in the moment. 

I've realised how lucky I am to have some wonderful people around me. 

Last week an awful thing happened to one of our neighbours. It was beautiful to see how our other neighbours rallied around to provide support. I'm so lucky that we have amazing neighbours. 

Totally random but.....I'm not having a funeral. I hate them. They're awful, torturous, traumatic affairs. So I'm not having one.

Before I tell you about what I'll have instead, I'll explain why I hate funerals.

26 years ago I went to my last funeral.
We had four weeks from hell. First up a close family friend died in tragic circumstances. He was only 33 with a beautiful wife and two young children (3 and 2). The next week Nani died (she was my boyfriends Nan, we'd been together 4 years so his family was like my own). Nani died two days before our friends funeral.
We got through that week and the next week we had Nani's funeral. We were all sitting in church waiting for the ceremony to start when Aunty Mary (Nani's sister) who was sitting directly in front of me started gasping for breath and appeared to be having a fit. 
An ambulance was called and we were all herded out of the church. Aunty Mary had a heart attack and died in the church. When all the family realised what had happened they started wailing. If you've never heard the way people from other cultures wail, you're lucky. It's the most awful, haunting sound I've ever heard.
They took Aunty Mary's body out of the church and the funeral commenced. They were trying to keep the events quiet so that Uncle George (Nani and Mary's brother) didn't hear about it. 
He was told when he got home and dealt with it ok.
The next week we had Aunty Marys funeral. It was a long winded, painful catholic funeral, the church ceremony alone took over an hour.  
That's the last funeral I went to. 

Pretty sure I'm still traumatised by those four awful weeks.

Instead of a funeral I'm going to have a party. I don't want people to be sad, I want them to celebrate my life, to laugh, remember good times and talk about all the funny, silly, stupid and awful things we did together. 
Don't just remember the good times, be real and talk about the bad times, the tough times and all the in between.
I want them to cry tears of laughter remembering our antics. 
I want them to tell stories that my other friends and family haven't heard and I want them to remember me fondly. 
I expect someone to spike the punch so that everyone gets a little drunk.
On my playlist will be Another One Bites the Dust, It's a Beautiful Life, I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight, I'd Die to be With You Tonight, Blaze of Glory and any other death songs I can think of. Not to make people cry, but to make them laugh with the irony of it. 

Celebrate my life, don't mourn my passing. 

I should add that I'm going to live to be at least 100, so there's plenty of time left to make crazy memories for people to share. 

1 comment :

  1. We didn't have a funeral for Troy. He was privately cremated, and we sent him off in a funeral pyre on the beach with Mark Seymour's Parting Glass playing via YouTube. We toasted him goodbye with his favourite bourbon and gave him a shot to go on with.

    We did the same for Dad, but different music. He also had a cigarette (his beverage was beer).


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