Friday, 21 December 2018

FFS Friday - Done like a dinner

Finally, after nearly six years, we've decided we're done. Done with FIFO. We have an end date. At last!

We never intended to be a FIFO family. It wasn't supposed to be a long term option and yet here we are coming up to six years.

Initially it was a stop gap, a job to keep us going until we moved down south and Tiger found something locally. There were a few huge projects due to start and plenty of work. Once we moved down here all those jobs were canned and there was no work locally.

It's no secret that I hate FIFO. I hate being left on my own to deal with everything. It's not what I want. Over the years, every time I've tried to discuss it with Tiger, all I get is "But I love my job". To which my reply has always been "Well that's great, as long as you're happy, who cares that the three of us hate it and are going through hell". 

Tigers solution is for us to move up north. Not an option. I hate the heat and Chai doesn't cope with it either. Being confined to the house for four months of the year would be horrible. 

The final straw for me was when Chai got sick last month. Having to deal with it all on my own was the straw that broke the camels back. Tiger came down for one night and that was it. He didn't come home with us, just left me to deal with it all once again.  

Tiger got to the hospital at 7pm and left with Eljay and Mum around 9.30pm. The next morning he was with us at the hospital for a few hours, loaded us into the car then stayed in the city whilst I went home with the boys. This meant that as per usual, I was dealing with everything on my own.

What's the point in having a partner who's only around half of the time? It's not what I signed up for and I'm done.

We've now agreed that Tiger will come home at the end of next year. Finally there is an end in sight.

There's so much of our lives that Tiger has no idea about because he's not here. They may seem like small, insignificant things, but those small things are what life is made up of. The way we do things, what's happening in the boys life and all sorts of other things that he's missed out on. 

Added to that, it's all the little decisions I have to make and situations I have to deal with by myself because he's away. After six years, I'm over it. I don't want to do everything anymore. 

I have no idea how I'm going to survive the next twelve months because I truly am done. I just don't have it in me to do everything myself anymore. I will survive because I have to choice and because finally, after all this time, I have an end date. 

Happy days.

1 comment :

  1. I had to read that 3 times to be sure it said what I thought it did. Finally!!

    Having a partner who is away a lot is bloody awful; they have NFI how the household runs, and often seem to expect that everyone will just slot in around them (mine did, as did the rest of his team, not sure about Tiger). They disrupt carefully crafted routines and then head back off into the wild blue yonder leaving us to pick up the pieces.

    Now you have an end date, you have 12 months to work out how to train Tiger to work WITH you to keep the routines intact. Trust me, you want this. Mine was 'I'm here!' with no warning, and it ballsed everything up - I had no plan to ease us into that. It would almost have been easier for him to stay working in that shitful job.

    Congratulations and good luck xx

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