Friday, 11 May 2018

FFS Friday - Judgey McJudgey

You know what I've been thinking about lately? I'll tell you. Conformity. Every day, in so many ways, we are expected to conform.

School is about teaching us to conform, to be like everyone else, do what we're told and not question it.

Society is about conforming. In various subtle ways, every day, we're told that if we aren't like everyone else then there's something wrong with us.

Here's the perfect example:
My boys wear what they like. They choose their outfits, they get dressed. As long as the clothing is weather appropriate I'm happy. Often it's not weather appropriate, but I choose my battles.

Monday we had a busy day. Chai was wearing light green flannelette pj pants that were three sizes too big, tucked into blue ankle braces (the ones you wear when you've twisted your ankle), no shoes and a black and dark green hoodie camo top. Nice.

Eljay was wearing West Coast Eagles flannelette pj pants with a grey and blue striped t-shirt/hoodie and no shoes.
They were comfortable so it was all good.

Whilst we were out I counted the number of people who felt they had to let the boys and I know that their outfits weren't appropriate. I stopped counting when I got to double digits.
The comments were so subtle.
"Nice pj pants boys!"
"Are your boys sick?" 'No' "Then why are they wearing pj's?" 'Cause they want to'
"Ohhh, look who dressed themselves today"
"I wish I could wear my pj's all day" You could, you just choose not to. 
"Fancy dress today boys?"
"Love the outfits" said in a very disapproving voice.
"Haven't you done the washing, your boys are wearing pj's"
"No shoes again boys!"
"You kids should have shoes on" 
"Where are your shoes"

Aside from the blatant judgement, what makes people think they have the right to comment on a childs appearance?

Other life choices are also questioned
"Why aren't you at school"
"You have to go to school"
"How will you learn"

Really people, fuck off with your opinions and judgement. Just because someone is different doesn't mean they're wrong. It's okay to be different, it's okay not to conform, it's okay to make your own choices for your own reasons. It's all okay.

For those of you who choose to march to the beat of your own drum, good on you!
For those who don't want to, good on you too! 

Let's stop the judgement and give people the space to be who they truly are, without fear of judgement. 

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