Friday, 26 January 2018

FFS Friday - Parenting expert

You know those parenting articles you read, the click bait ones that say "How I stopped my kids fighting with one easy sentence"? The ones written by a perfect parent with perfect kids who always behave and never fight, due to their amazing parents who fix everything with one easy phrase. Well I think they're a load of rubbish, so today I'm going to write my own article. I figure it's about time as I'm clearly a parenting expert having been a parent for over six years now.

Today I'm going to tell you how to stop your darling child telling people that he hates them. It's so very simple. One easy sentence in fact. I kid you not. Here goes.

As a rule I try not to lie to my kids. I've learned from experience that it usually backfires (like the time I told Eljay it might snow and he told everyone!) Sometimes, as much as I try not to lie to the kids, I just have to. 

I've mentioned before that Eljay is a mean little monster. On a daily basis he was telling Chai and I that he hates us and he wishes we'd never been born. Nasty. I tried everything I could think of. I spoke to him about how awful it was to say things like that, explained that it was really hurtful. Tiger spoke to him, Chai spoke to him, my Mum spoke to him, my sister spoke to him. Nothing helped. 

Next I tried penalties. I made him sit on the couch, I put him in his room, I took away his tv privileges. When that didn't work I started throwing out his toys. He didn't give a flying fart.

I tried ignoring the nastiness and praising the positive. Didn't help. I tried everything I could think of. Nothing worked. At least five times a day he told Chai that he hates him and at least twice a day he told me. No matter how I tried to ignore it and remind myself that he didn't understand what he was saying, it was still hurtful.

In desperation I told Eljay that if he was nasty again I'd call santa. It worked! Who would have thought it'd be that simple. It's been six weeks now and he no longer says that he hates us! Winning!

So there you go. My one easy step to get your kid to stop being nasty. Threaten to call santa.

You're welcome. 

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