Friday, 29 December 2017

FFS Friday - Hi Mrs B

You know those people who are strange? The ones who are different and you just can't figure out why? That's me.

See I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness. Some of my family are still involved in the religion. I am not (obviously).

Having been raised that way I have no idea when it comes to things like birthdays, Christmas etc. Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate those things.

By a bizarre coincidence Tiger was also raised in the same religion so he's no help.

Funny that, we would have been at the same conventions for years yet we never met. 

When Chai started school and the birthday invites started I was lost. Thankfully there was another mum at school who'd been raised in the same religion, so she used to tell me what we had to do.

It's so confusing. 

Christmas is one celebration I just don't understand. It's supposed to be about spending time with family, yet people get so worked up about it. They stress themselves out about presents, get into huge amounts of debt and often don't even enjoy the day. What's the point?

When I tell people that we have a low key Christmas, most of them are envious. So why don't they do the same thing? Makes no sense to me at all.

The last few years we've started doing Christmas, mainly for the kids. Because I have no idea about Christmas, I make stupid, rookie mistakes.

Last year I got Chai a huge ninja turtles playset. Being a rookie with no idea what to do, I didn't set it up the night before so spent about two hours in hell on Christmas morning, trying to set it up with Chai hanging over my shoulder.

This Christmas I did it again. I bought the boys lego. Silly me.

Chai was so excited that he woke up at 4am. It was still dark. FFS.

He managed to hold off until 5.10am when he woke us all up after discovering his presents. 

I spent three hours putting lego together, when I was supposed to be getting lunch ready. 

Second rookie mistake of the day, putting lollies in their Christmas stockings. Big mistake. They were on a sugar high all day. Fun.

Maybe by next year I'll start to get the hang of it, meanwhile, please send me all your tips. 

We haven't had a good Tiger story for a while, mainly because he's away half of the time. But never fear Mrs B, I have one from the archives for you. 

I was inside doing some stuff on my computer, Tiger was working in the garage with the garage door open. From inside, with the doors closed, I heard my neighbour yelling for me. 

As I went running out to save her I noticed the door from the house to the garage was open and hoped that Shelby hadn't got out.

When I got outside (running straight past Tiger), I saw that Shelby was at my neighbours door and her dog was trying to get outside to eat Shelby.

Tiger was pottering away totally oblivious. WTF?

How could he not hear my neighbour yelling and her dog barking and trying to break down the door? Bloody useless he'd be in an emergency, he wouldn't even know something was going down. Men. 

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