Friday 24 November 2017

FFS Friday - Okay

Turns out sending Chai back to school was a huge mistake.

Last Thursday he told me he was going to school all day Friday. Friday morning he woke up with sensory issues. His clothes were uncomfortable, everything irritated him and he wasn't happy. 

He decided that he wasn't going to school, he wanted to go to breakfast club then come home. It took him half an hour to get dressed because all his clothes irritated him. He tried on about ten tops before one was okay. I gave him the option of staying home but he wanted to go to breakfast club.

We went to breakfast club and when it was time to go to his classroom he wanted to go home. We spoke to his teacher who couldn't convince him to stay. When she tried he got really upset and started crying. We saw the deputy on the way out who also tried to convince him to stay. He wasn't having a bar of it.

He was off all day and at cling factor ten. It was a long, tough day.

If I thought Friday was bad, Saturday was worse. He was back to the old Chai that I had when he was going to school full time. I swear the day felt like it was 300 hours long. 

By 8am I was over it and ready to walk out. We'd been awake for two hours.

By 9am I was considering having a drink, which is saying something considering I rarely drink. 

The day was long and never ending, filled with tears, tantrums, fights, etc. Nothing I did helped. 

That evening I told Chai he wouldn't be going back to school. He still wants to go next year. I'm not optimistic about it.

It's been a week and his behaviour is only just starting to calm down. His anxiety is through the roof and I have no idea how to help him. 

Until yesterday he wouldn't even be out of my line of sight due to his anxiety. The poor little man. It's been tough for both of us.

I'm at my wits end and wondering if he needs to be medicated. I'm anti medication. Very anti medication. It seems silly to medicate him so that he can go to school, when I can homeschool which would then negate the need for medication. 

I refuse to medicate him to conform to a flawed schooling system. If it's a choice of medication or home schooling then I'll choose home schooling. I know there are children who need medication and I don't have a problem with that, however I don't think Chai is one of those children as his issues are all caused by school. 

We have a psychiatrist appointment next week and we're going to see the free range school. I'm told it's impossible to get into the free range school, but it's worth a try.

I just want my boy to be okay. 

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