Friday, 31 March 2017

FFS Friday - On Saturday

I'm late, I'm late, for a very important FFS Friday date. A day late in fact, so happy FFS Saturday to you all. 

You know how I said it felt nice being a one car family? It didn't last long. 

Friday Tiger bought a new car. He'd done a lot of research so bought the first car he looked at. Despite that we were at the car yard for three and a half hours. Not fun. Not fun at all.

I'd planned on getting him to do a whole pile of things around the house that I can't do myself, but it didn't work out like that.

We had something on every day that he was home and spent most days out of the house running errands.

Oh well. I'll get the stuff done around the house sometime in the next ten years. Or maybe I won't and it'll all get done in a rush when we are getting ready to sell the house.

This week I just haven't wanted to adult. Wouldn't it be great if on days like that you could get a substitute to stand in for you? 
"Sorry everyone, Glossy doesn't want to adult today so I'm standing in for her."
Nice. I could get used to that. 

Thursday I had my gym appraisal. I'm not sure I can muster up the energy to drag myself to the gym. My motivation has run away.  

Our last visit to the psych revealed that Chai may have sensory issues. I've been reading up on them and it sounds very accurate. I met with the school and they also agreed that he appears to have sensory issues. They've given me a referral to an OT and now I wait. 

Meanwhile Chai's issues are escalating and I'm seriously wondering how I am going to cope. His behaviour is getting worse and worse and no-one can tell me how to deal with it. I'm just quietly going crazy.

Not only are his anxiety signs escalating, he's also started randomly hitting us. He'll just walk past and whack us for no reason at all, without realising he's done it. I'm really hoping that he doesn't do this at school. 

Tiger doesn't cope with it, he gets angry so I have to manage him as well as manage myself and the kids. I feel like I'm the only one dealing with it and I'm exhausted. I just want everything to be better but I doubt that there will be an instant cure. 

Tiger thinks that the solution to Chai's issues is to be firm and discipline him. His idea of discipline is smacking. Being firm when Chai's having a meltdown doesn't work. Smacking him for something he can't help doing also doesn't work.     

I understand why Tiger is angry, I'm angry and frustrated too but it's not Chai's fault. He didn't choose to have anxiety or sensory issues, it's not something he has control over. Punishing him for things he can't control is just not right.

I've mentioned before that Tiger has the amazing ability to whinge about absolutely everything. If whinging was an Olympic sport he'd win the gold medal. Yesterday was family day at Chai's school. Tiger whinged so much that I got a beautiful message of support from one of the school Mums because he'd lead her to believe that our marriage is in trouble. It's not. 

We communicate well and discuss our issues regularly, we're just going through a tough time with Chai. We've talked about it, we agree it's tough, we agree that we're doing the best that we can and we acknowledge that it'll get better in time. Easy. But still he whinges.   

But you know what? It's all first world issues. Once again it's shown me that I have a beautiful group of supportive women around me and I love that so much. I found out that another school Mum is having the same sensory issues with her boy so we're getting together for a coffee this week. My friends and I had a good laugh about Tiger's whinging and I am so appreciative of the beautiful, non judgemental friends I have. Life is good. 

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