The school holidays are nearly over. I am not ready.
I don't want Chai to go back to school. Aside from my worry about how he'll cope with grade one, I also don't want to have to be organised and out of the house by 8.20am every morning. Life is so much easier when he's home. We're happier and more relaxed.
It's my last year with Eljay at home full time. He's going to love school. He'd love to go this year.
I am so not ready for him to start school.
What the hell am I supposed to do all day? I'll be so bored. I need to get a job or decide what I want to study.
Unfortunately I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. I'm 44 this year. I'll figure it out eventually.
I know what I don't want to do but have no idea what I do want to do.
The only thing I can see myself doing is journalism, so that's what I'm leaning towards. I'd really like to work from home doing the hours that I want to do and I think (hope) journalism would allow that.
I mentioned last week how worried I was about Shelby drowning in the pool. A friend of mine happened to have some spare bricks I could use to put along the bottom of the fence so Shelby couldn't fit under.
Saturday I took some child labour (my nephews), picked up the bricks and put them along the bottom of the fence. As we were putting the bricks in place Shelby was very suspicious.
As soon as we'd finished she tried her best to get under the fence but couldn't so she spent a few hours sitting at the fence crying.
I was feeling pretty pleased with myself...until Sunday...when I realised that she can fit in between the bars of the fence. FFS.
Problem not solved. FFS.
Fingers crossed she'll grow a bit more so that it won't be a problem. She's eight months old now so there's still time for her to grow a little. Apparently small dogs stop growing around twelve months. Let's hope she has a growth spurt between now and then.
Just to be nice, I've saved the best till last. I'm good like that.
Yesterday I was in the shower when I heard Eljay screaming.
Not just screaming, that awful screaming they do when they're really hurt where they scream as loud as they can, take a breath and scream again.
He was doing it non stop so I leapt into super mummy action.
I bolted naked out of the shower, leaving the shower running and the shower door open.
We have tile floors and I was dripping wet so I raced along slipping and sliding like a drunk ice skater to find Eljay, leaving a stream of water in my wake.
I ran through the house for what felt like about two kilometers but was in reality a few meters, searching for Eljay.
I found him sitting on the loungeroom floor. Shelby (the dog) was happily sitting next to him and Chai was on the couch with his hands over his ears.
At first glance there was no blood and Eljay seemed okay. I slid up to him and asked what was wrong. He stopped screaming long enough to tell me the devastating news.
Chai poked his tongue at him.
Yes, you read that right. Eljay was screaming his lungs out because Chai poked his tongue at him.
My exact words were:
He poked his tongue at you? You are screaming because he poked his tongue at you? I got out of the shower for this!?
Then I went and got back into the shower. FFS.
Kids are so much fun.