We're back! Thanks to overwhelming demand, FFS Friday is here to stay. Yay!
I'm so glad that you all enjoy laughing at my misfortune. I'm not joking.
Last Friday was one of those days. FFS.
I dream of being a calm, peaceful, tolerant Mummy but it just doesn't happen. FFS.
I took the boys to the skate park early so that they could have a skate before it got too hot. Getting there was a major issue. FFS.
There was screaming, tantrums, yelling, sit in's, threats etc. And that was just me. FFS.
Not really, it was them. FFS.
Okay, it was mostly them and a little bit me. FFS.
Anyhow, I managed to get them in the car and to the skate park. The first tantrum came when they realised the boy (we don't know him) who'd been there last time, wasn't there. This was my fault because I didn't know where he lived. FFS.
Eljay refused to scoot around unless I followed him. FFS.
Chai wanted to know what was behind the skate park and when I told him it was a BMX track he wanted to go home and get his bike. I refused. FFS.
He decided he'd scoot on the BMX track but only if I followed along behind him. FFS.
Then he had a huge whine because it was too boggy for him to scoot on. FFS.
The skate park was right there but he wouldn't use it. FFS.
Next up Eljay had a screaming tantrum and I have no idea why. I think he just wanted to sing me the song of his people cause I hadn't heard it for at least five minutes. He's good like that. FFS.
By that time I'd had enough and was very close to throwing a tantrum of my own so I loaded them in the car whilst they yelled and screamed. It was fun. FFS.
I finally realised that the boys are like me, they can't cope with the heat. FFS.
If only I'd realised that years ago our life would have been a lot easier. FFS.
I took them to Dad's house for a picnic lunch in an effort to keep us all occupied and happy. It was too hot to be outside so we stayed in the air conditioning. They usually have toys there to keep the boys amused, but my step mum had put them away and Dad couldn't find them. FFS.
This meant that the whole time I was on edge trying to make sure they didn't smash any of step mum's ornaments. FFS.
All day I kept on seeing social media posts saying Thank Goodness it's Friday! Get your sparkle on for Friday night etc. Every time I saw a post like that I though "Fecking idiots, it's not Friday. It's not even close to Friday. Wonder where they are that they think it's Friday, can't be the USA cause they're behind us. Fecking idiots." It wasn't until 4pm that I realised it was actually Friday. Seems I was the fecking idiot. Hahaha. FFS.
Eljay has recently decided that getting into his car seat isn't something he's interested in doing. FFS.
Every time we go out getting him in to his seat is a major drama. FFS.
I have no idea why. FFS.
So it goes something like this:
Chai heads for his side of the car, Eljay sees him and races screaming to his door on the other side of the car. He's screaming because he doesn't want Chai to sit in his seat. Chai never sits in his seat and is getting in his side of the car so there's no reason for Eljay to suspect that Chai might sit in his seat. So Eljay races screaming to the car, gets in (very slowly), examines all the toys/shoes/food/rubbish on the car floor for a while then sits in the passenger seat next to his car seat. I ask him to get into his car seat and he says no. I tell him that we can't go anywhere if he's not in his seat and he says no. I ask him if he wants to go to the park and he says yes. I again ask him to get into his seat so that we can go to the park. No. I strap Chai into his seat and tell Eljay that he either gets into his seat or we stay home. No. I tell him that he has thirty seconds to get into his seat before we stay home. No. He finally climbs screaming into his seat and screams and wriggles the whole time I'm strapping him up. As soon as I close the car door he stops. FFS.
We do this every day as we're leaving the house to go to the park. Every single day. It's fun. FFS.
Chai's reached the stage of the holidays where he's had enough and wants to go back to school. Because of that I arranged a play date for him every day this week. You'd think that'd be great and keep him happy, but he's still found a lot to be unhappy about. FFS.
Wednesday we had to go out in the morning. He whined the whole time we were out and when we got home decided it was time for a tantrum. FFS.
He opened the boot and I reached over to lift it up for him because he's not tall enough to lift it right up. Instead of waiting for me to lift the boot Chai spat the dummy and slammed the boot down in a fit of rage. FFS.
He slammed it right on my index finger. FFS.
It f@#%ing hurt. FFS.
I did not swear! I did tell him to "SHUT UP CHAI!" FFS.
We've been taking Chai to a psych due to his separation anxiety. At the last session she said that he doesn't know how to regulate his emotions so we need to help him and that if we want him to be calm we need to be calm. It's not working. FFS.
I am trying so, so hard to be calm but it's not working. Even when I'm calm (which is most of the time) he's still not calm. FFS.
The boys must have decided that this week was See How Much We Can Hurt Mum week. FFS.
Yesterday Eljay wanted something to eat. I was holding him in the pantry so he could show me what he wanted. When there was nothing he wanted he had a tantrum and pulled my jar of cacao nibs on to the floor. FFS.
Why is it always the expensive stuff they smash? FFS.
It smashed all over the floor and cut my foot. FFS.
I didn't swear that time either. Mother of the year. Or not. FFS.
I got my revenge that afternoon, I made banana bread and didn't let them lick the bowl. Hahahaha.
If you don't hear from me again the kids have managed to inflict a mortal wound. FFS.
Catcha next week!