Friday, 10 April 2015

FFS Friday - TMI

Last Saturday I went for a massage. Not FFS.

As I was getting dressed afterwards the elastic on my favourite pants snapped. FFS.

Thankfully it was only the top elastic so they were still wearable. Not FFS.

You know how people love getting massaged because it makes them feel so good? Not me. FFS.

It makes me sore. FFS.

I had my massage on Saturday and was still sore on Thursday. FFS.

Thanks to Tigers roster change he is away all of the school holidays. FFS.

Now, I'm going to talk about Crohn's. And totally overshare. If you aren't up for a gross poo story, stop reading now.

Still here? Hi! If you read my story you'll know that I'm  one of the lucky ones. I was diagnosed quickly and didn't have any bits removed. I've been in remission for years and have tricked myself into thinking that the Crohn's has gone. But it hasn't. FFS.

Proof of that occurred yesterday morning. FFS.

I was minding my own business going about my normal morning duties when I needed to do a poo. But it wasn't just a normal need to do a poo, it was a Crohn's Need To Do A Poo! FFS.

Crohn's Need To Do A Poo's must be answered immediately. FFS.

I raced off to the toilet. And didn't make it. FFS.

Gross. FFS.

I had poo all down my leg, on my foot, on the mat, all through my pj's etc. Gross. FFS.

The boys came in and Chai asked me what I was doing. When I told him I was cleaning up poo he asked if I'd had an accident. I know that he's going to pick the most embarrassing time possible to relay that story. FFS.

The only solution was to have a shower. Of course the boys took advantage of me being in the shower and trashed the house. FFS.

I got out of the shower to find toys everywhere and a trail of sand through the house. FFS.

You'd think the story ends there but it doesn't. FFS.

I washed as much poo of my pj's as I could and put them in the washing machine. When I got them out of the machine there were bits of poo all through the machine. Gross. FFS.

There must have been a sneaky bit of poo hiding in my pj's that I didn't notice. FFS.

I tossed the pj's, cleaned out the washing machine and ran it through a cleaning cycle. Gross, gross, gross. FFS.

That afternoon I was putting more washing on and Chai was doing a poo. I could hear the boys giggling but thought nothing of it. Silly me. FFS.

I walked in to the toilet to see this:

 They'd filled the entire toilet bowl with toilet tissue. FFS.

That's about three quarters of a roll of toilet tissue there. FFS.

Check out my socks. Heh.

See that's life with Crohn's. I never know when it's going to hit me. But it's okay, I'm one of the lucky ones. Thankfully I was at home and when my day starts with me crapping myself I know it can only get better from there!

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