Friday, 4 April 2014

FFS Friday - Last night I had the strangest dream

Last Friday night I was woken in the middle of the night by a kick to the head. FFS.

From Chai. FFS.

He kicked me so hard that it bruised. FFS.

How he managed to get his leg up to my head when he was sleeping right next to me with his head on the pillow, I'll never know. FFS.

It took me ages to get back to sleep because my cheek was throbbing and I had a huge headache. FFS.

I still had the headache when I woke up in the morning. FFS. 

It's parental abuse!

Monday Mum was supposed to come and stay for a few days. She'd told Chai on Thursday that she was coming to visit so he'd been looking forward to it and counting down the days. Sunday she let me know she couldn't come because she had the flu. FFS. 

I'd been saving tasks to do for when she arrived. You know, fun things like wash my hair, vacuum the house, put the washing away, tidy up etc. I had to get it all done with both kids "helping". FFS. 

Tuesday we had a poo incident, the worst poo incident we've had yet. FFS.

I was taking Chai's overnight nappy off when he decided to do a poo mid nappy removal! FFS.

I'd just taken his nappy off when he leaned forward and started doing a poo! FFS.

The nappy was wrapped up and I didn't have time to open it so I tried to use the nappy to catch the poo but it didn't work. FFS.

You know what happened don't you? FFS.

So, so gross. FFS.

Yes, I caught the poo in my hand. FFS.

EWWWWWWW! FFS!

It was either catch it or let it fall on the carpet. FFS.

I should have let it fall on the carpet. FFS.

I have no words to describe how truly disgusting this was. FFS.

FFS FFS FFS FFS FFS FFS FFS FFS FFS FFS FFS FFS FFS FFS FFS FFS FFS FFS!!!!!

I was tempted to call MIL to see if she wanted to come and clean it up for me. Heh.  

I've been trying to keep Chai as busy as possible whilst Tiger is away. Wednesday he whinged from the time he woke up and when he wasn't whinging he was crying. FFS.

I tried to cheer him up every way I could think of but it just didn't work. FFS.

I cuddled him, tickled him, danced with him, chased him around the house, I even asked him if there was anything I could do to cheer him up. Nothing worked. FFS.

We went to the park and when we were leaving Chai wanted his bottle. Instead of waiting for me to get it for him, he got it himself, took the lid off and poured milk all over himself, his car seat and the floor. FFS.

Of course, that set off a new round of tears. FFS.

We were heading to the farmers market after the park, when we got there I got Chai out of the car and went to get Eljay out of the car. He was fast asleep. FFS.

I didn't want to wake him up but when I told Chai we were going home he had a huge tantrum. FFS.

I really needed to get some fruit as we were out and I had a friend coming over the next day. FFS.

Thankfully Eljay stayed asleep when I put him in the carrier and slept the whole time we were at the farmers market. Not FFS. 

Thursday Chai had a friend over for most of the day and it was great, he had a wonderful time. It was lovely for me too as they entertained each other and I managed to get some cleaning done. I live the high life. FFS.

That concludes my whining for this week, so I will leave you with installment number two of things I never thought I'd say as a parent:
Get your bare bottom off my head.
Keep your feet away from your brother. And your bottom too! 

If you'd like to read more whinges, head over to Sarah and Brad's blog. If you have any whinges, feel free to post them below so I can laugh at commiserate with you. 
Dear Baby G
You may be wondering what the title is all about. The answer is                         it's the song that was going through my head when I was trying to think up a title. 

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