A few weeks ago I carefully filled in the birth registration forms for Eljae. I checked them twice and got Tiger to check them before I sent everything off. When the birth certificate arrived the time of birth was wrong. FFS.
I phoned up BDM and they told me that I'd put the wrong time of birth down. FFS.
To fix it I either had to write a letter, provide a whole pile of paperwork and certified documents, or I could go into the office (which is in Perth). FFS.
Alternatively I could just leave the birth certificate with the wrong time of birth. FFS.
Being an ex investigator I couldn't deal with having the wrong time on the birth certificate, so I decided I'd go into the office next time we were in Perth. FFS.
Thankfully we went up to Perth last week. Not FFS.
We had two friends to see and a bit of running around to do. Whilst we were in civilisation we also hoped to do a little shopping. Not FFS.
For reasons known only to him, Chai was a total nightmare the whole time we were in Perth. FFS.
He whinged, whined and complained the whole weekend. FFS.
Usually if he gets upset I can talk to him about why he's upset and he'll tell me what I can do to make him feel better but that didn't work. FFS.
Bribery didn't work. FFS.
Taking him to play and burn off some energy didn't work. FFS.
Nothing worked. FFS.
We tried everything and nothing stopped him whingeing, crying and complaining. FFS.
Instead of having a nice, relaxing weekend it was a total nightmare. FFS.
Saturday morning Tiger was going for a massage so Chai and I were going to look for a fathers day present for him whilst we were waiting. We explained this to Chai who totally lost it and wanted to go with Tiger. FFS.
To console him we went to the massage place with Tiger, said goodbye, explained to Chai that he wouldn't be very long (about as long as a few episodes of Timmy Time) and then left. Chai lost it again. FFS.
He got so upset he was hysterical and nothing I did calmed him down. FFS.
I told him we could sit downstairs and wait for Daddy, which we did for half an hour, during which he cried very loudly the entire time. FFS.
After half an hour I couldn't take it anymore so dragged him sobbing hysterically, to the shopping centre, put him in a trolley and went wandering around. Magically he stopped crying. Not FFS.
He'd sob every now and again but was not wailing constantly like he had been for the half hour previously. Not FFS.
The whole ordeal was made worse because I had Eljae attached to me in the baby carrier so I couldn't pick Chai up. FFS.
By some miracle Eljae slept through the whole thing. FFS.
That is the first time that I've totally been pushed to my limits by Chai. By the time Tiger got to us I had a huge headache, was holding back tears and was totally exhausted. FFS.
I even considered putting Chai in the car and leaving him there because I couldn't handle listening to him cry anymore. FFS.
That is pretty much how the whole weekend went. We spent the entire time listening to Chai cry, complain and carry on for no apparent reason and nothing we did or said helped. FFS.
By the time we got home Tiger and I were at our witts end and totally exhausted. FFS.
At the start of this year we bought Tiger a tungsten wedding ring. We got tungsten because it's said to be unbreakable and Tiger is pretty rough with his jewellery. Tiger doesn't wear his ring when he's at home.
As Tiger was reading through the junk mail he saw some West Coast Eagles products he wanted. He was showing them to me and telling me about them whilst Chai was listening. The gorgeous little man heard Daddy say he wanted some Eagles things so he went over and got the Eagles card that we'd given Chai for his birthday. Not FFS.
Tigers wedding ring was on top of the card and when it landed on the tiles it broke in half. FFS.
That is not what tungsten is supposed to do! FFS.
Due to the move we had no idea where the receipt was, so we rang the store we bought it from who thankfully had it on record. Not FFS.
We were able to arrange for a replacement to be ordered so now just have to wait for it to arrive. Not FFS.
Thanks for the great customer service Michael Hill Jewellers. Not FFS.
Yesterday Eljae had a Dr's appointment. As we were on the way to the appointment Eljae decided he needed a feed, so I fed him whilst I was waiting for the Dr and during the visit. FFS.
Tiger had to get some blood tests done so he went to see about them whilst I was with the Dr. Halfway through the appointment Tiger knocks on the door, brings Chai in and tells me he has to get his blood tests done so I need to look after Chai. FFS.
Eljae hadn't finished feeding so once the appointment was over I sat in the waiting room to feed him. Chai decided he wanted Daddy so went running off. FFS.
By the time I got up (with Eljae still attached to my boob) and got my bag, Chai had run out the door of the Dr's surgery. FFS.
Thankfully a lady saw him making a bolt for it so went after him for me and she was bringing him back through the doors when I got there. Not FFS.
Tiger came back in right then. When I told him what had happened he said that he'd had to leave Chai with me because when he was at the lab Chai had been asking for me. FFS.
Right, so in his mind leaving Chai with me whilst I was breastfeeding and unable to look after him was a totally reasonable idea. FFS.
That concludes my weekly whinge. I hope you all found it entertaining. If you have had any FFS moments, please post them below. If you'd like to see what others have to whinge about, head on over to Sarahs' blog.