Friday, 8 February 2013

FFS Friday - The buzz cut

First thing Friday we were cleaning up the house getting it ready for someone to come through when we noticed that the power had gone off. FFS.

I rang Western Power who said that there were no reported outages in our area and asked if we'd checked the trip switch. We hadn't even thought of that. FFS.

We checked and it was a fault with our house. The Western Power guy was very patient and explained to us that we needed to unplug all our appliances, turn the power back on and then plug everything back in one by one to figure out what was flicking the switch. FFS.

He also told us that if we couldn't figure it out we'd have to call an electrician. FFS.

I was imagining a $1,000 bill. FFS.

We unplugged everything and then decided to check our tv power point as that has the most things plugged into it. We immediately realised it was the cause of our problem. FFS.

Chai loves to throw things down the back of the tv cabinet. He'd thrown various things down there, including his milo, which spilled all over the power board. FFS.

Once we cleaned that up everything was fine. Not FFS.

Whilst we were clearing out back there we found all sorts of things we'd been missing for months. Not FFS.

This week my little treasure has suddenly turned into a climber. FFS.

I leave him alone for a few minutes and return to find him standing on the toilet, sitting in the bathroom basin, standing on his change table, hanging off the side of his cot or sitting on the kitchen table. FFS.

Added to this him being able to open all the doors in our house and it makes life very interesting. FFS.

To combat this problem we got some covers that go over the door handles so that Chai can't open them. They work really well. So well that I can't open the bloody things either. FFS.

It appears that in the last few weeks Chai has grown and he can now reach things that he couldn't a few weeks ago (which is how he got hold of my nail polish last week). FFS.

I got a box to put all my skin care products in to keep them out of Chai's reach, however I soon discovered that he could reach the box, take it off my dressing table and pull everything out. FFS.

Now I've bought a make-up case to store everything in. I hope it works but I suspect it won't because he will be able to unzip it. FFS.

Tiger has been saying for the last week that Chai needs a haircut (which he does). He hasn't bothered to make him an appointment though. FFS.

Sunday he announced that Chai had to have a hair cut and I told him that I'd get it done during the week. Not satisfied with this, Tiger decided to get his clippers out and cut it himself. FFS.

I was dead against this and was holding Chai in my arms whilst we argued about it, when Tiger trims a huge stripe up the back of Chai's head. FFS.

Chai had never seen the clippers before and was scared of them, so got really upset. FFS.

I had to leave the room because I couldn't cope with seeing him so upset. FFS.

My stupid, stupid husband gave him a number 2, which is not even and it looks awful. FFS.

I can't decide if Chai looks like a cancer survivor or a bogan. FFS.

His hair is so short that I can see his scalp. FFS.

I spent the rest of Sunday seriously considering divorcing Tiger. FFS.

You think I'm joking. I'm not. FFS.

He is now banned from touching Chai's hair. FFS.

I was very worried about how he would cope with Tiger being away. Thankfully it hasn't really bothered him. He's asked for Tiger a few times, but hasn't got upset about it. Not FFS.

On the other hand, I am exhausted. FFS.

I have no idea how single parents cope on their own. FFS.

A few weeks ago I bought a portacot from Target. It was out of stock everywhere so I bought it online. It arrived this week so yesterday I went in to collect it. Instead of making things easy for me and giving it to me at the layby counter, I had to go to the loading dock to get it. FFS.

I couldn't find the loading dock so gave up and went home. FFS.

Now I have to go back again today and try to find the damn loading dock. FFS.

 

Dear Baby G

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