Chai has decided that it's great fun to pretend he wants a drink of water then spit the water all over himself and the floor so that he has puddles to play in. FFS
This has resulted in him potentially being severely dehydrated because I refuse to give him any water. FFS
I never know if he really wants a drink or if he just wants to drench us both. FFS.
I had a bespoke perfume made for me by Audra James. It smells like a little piece of heaven. Not FFS.
I didn't think to mention to Audra that we are trying to get pregnant, so I can't wear the perfume because it contains Jasmine. FFS.
Friday was a long, exhausting day. I couldn't be bothered making dinner so got some leftover lasagne out of the freezer. Hubby gets home from work and with his usual impeccable timing tells me that he doesn't want the lasagne because it wasn't very nice. FFS.
He then starts to elaborate telling me why it wasn't very nice. FFS.
I told him to shut up and stop digging. FFS.
He ignored me and was then surprised that I was upset with him. FFS.
F@#$ing idiot. FFS.
Saturday morning Chai decided that 4.30am was a good time to wake up and he wouldn't go back to sleep. FFS.
I had to send off two packages Saturday morning, so headed to the post office. There was a queue out the door so I went for a walk, came back and the queue was still out the door. FFS.
I resigned myself to a long wait and joined the queue. FFS.
Chai was starting to get restless so I explained to him that I needed to send off some packages and we had to wait quietly until it was our turn. He totally ignored me and got more and more restless. FFS.
When it was finally my turn he decided to spit the dummy and started crying hysterically at the top of his voice. FFS.
I needed both my hands so couldn't pick him up. FFS.
He was screaming so loudly that people in the queue were trying to soothe him. FFS.
When I finally finished I got him out of the pram and cuddled him whilst he calmed down, with the whole post office watching me. FFS.
After a while he agreed to get back in the pram so that I could do the supermarket shopping. After being back in the pram for two minutes he started screaming again. We had to go home. FFS.
That night I rang the pizza shop. For the first 15 minutes it was engaged. FFS.
Finally they answered, put me on hold for 4 minutes then hung up on me. FFS.
I got through again and ordered a calzone. The girl asked me if I wanted it open. FFS.
Stupid girl. If I wanted an open calzone I would have asked for a pizza! FFS.
Saturday night I was exhausted. Chai woke up at midnight and after an hour I couldn't get him back to sleep so asked hubby to take over. He started carrying on about leaving Chai to cry. I told him to F@#$ off. FFS.
Sunday morning he was furious with me for swearing at him (even though he'd sworn at me first and I responded in the same manner). FFS.
By 6am he'd called me, yelled at me and hung up on me twice. FFS.
Behaviour like that really pisses me off. We are adults and there is no excuse for behaving like children. If there is an issue it should be discussed rationally and calmly. FFS.
You've probably guessed that I'm the calm rational one and hubby is the hot headed emotional one. FFS.
If you follow me on twitter you'll know I spent last week madly getting our house ready for the home open on Sunday. No-one turned up. FFS.
That's right, not one single person. FFS.
All that hard work for nothing. FFS.
It's been a while since we tried to kill our child, so Tuesday I decided I'd have a red hot go at it. FFS.
We were off to the park, so I put Chai in the car, turned on his dvd, realised I hadn't put sunscreen on him so put sunscreen on whilst he wriggled around, then I got in the car and off we went. We'd been driving for around 3 minutes when Chai decided he wanted a toy that was on the floor and leaned forward to get it. As he did this I realised that I hadn't strapped him in! FFS.
And by hadn't strapped him in I mean the straps weren't even over this shoulders! FFS.
He could have got right out of the seat if he'd wanted to. FFS.
Mummy failure at it's best! FFS.
Yesterday I found out that another girl from playgroup is pregnant! FFS!!!!!
Last night my computer started acting strange. Turns out that it had a Trojan and 2 other files that my anti virus software found and quarantined. FFS.
It's working fine today but I'm not sure if I should use internet banking or if there's still something nasty hiding there trying to get all my info. FFS.
Today is looking like it's going to be "one of those days". FFS.
I was rudely awoken at 5.30am by hubby telling me that he's slept in and late for work. FFS.
My hayfever has been driving me crazy lately and this morning it's really bad. FFS.
Bub was up four times last night. FFS.
When he woke up this morning I bought him into bed with me. I was on the phone to hubby and Chai was wandering around our bedroom when I heard a waterfall. FFS.
To my constant frustration hubby is incapable of drinking from the lid of a water bottle as he says enough water doesn't come out. FFS.
He takes the lid off his water bottle and leaves it on his bedside table. In the mornings he puts the lid on and moves any of his herbal sleeping tablets that he's left on the bedside table. This morning he forgot. FFS.
Chai had poured the contents of the full water bottle all over hubbys bedside table (and my desktop computer that is next to hubbys bedside table) and then tried to eat hubbys sleeping tablet. FFS.
As if that wasn't enough, Chai then got my water bottle and started spitting water everywhere. FFS.
I was trying to clean it up in between sneezing fits and with Chai climbing over me because he wanted to play in the water. FFS.
Please tell me that things can only get better from here. FFS.
And that, my friends, is my whinge for the week. Have a beautiful weekend.