Wednesday, 19 October 2011

The tale of the drama queen and his unsympathetic wife

Today girls and boys I am going to tell you a story about a man who we will call Drama Queen and his wife who we will call Glossy.

In a lot of ways Drama Queen and Glossy had their roles reversed. Whilst Drama Queen was a big, strong, capable man, he was a bit of a girl in a lot of ways. He took ages to get ready and required at least three total outfit changes before leaving the house, he constantly checked himself out in the mirror and was always buying new clothes. Glossy on the other hand wore the first outfit she put on, rarely checked herself out in the mirror and rarely purchased new clothes.

In terms of personality, Drama Queen and Glossy were complete opposites. Drama Queen was a real worrier, Glossy had a 'she'll be right' attitude.

Due to his extremely worried, over anxious mother, Drama Queen had anxiety issues, which were made worse by some stupid things he did in his younger years. Glossy was trying her best to beat these anxiety issues out of Drama Queen and he was a lot better, but still had some way to go.

Drama Queen wasn't very good at looking after his health and for a long time had been suffering from reflux. After having this problem for well over a year (and complaining constantly) he finally decided to see the Dr. The Dr did some tests and discovered that the reflux was caused by gallstones. He gave Drama Queen some medication and a referral to a specialist to have his gallbladder out. In his infinite wisdom, Drama Queen decided not to take the medication and not to see the specialist.

Unsurprisingly, the reflux got worse and worse, to the point where it was also giving Drama Queen chest pains. When this occurred, Drama Queen thought that he was having a heart attack, which then caused a panic attack, which was not much fun for him. Being the clever fellow that he is, Drama Queen still did nothing about this and continued to suffer and annoy Glossy with his constant complaining. Glossy told him that she didn't want to hear about it until he got some treatment and that he was stupid to expect things to get better if he didn't take any action.

Things continued this way for approximately another year until a dramatic event which occurred last night. Imagine this:
Glossy was blissfully asleep in bed after finally getting bub to sleep and finishing a few household chores, when she was rudely awakened by Drama Queen coming into the bedroom and turning on the light. Glossy complained about being woken up in such a manner and Drama Queen sat down on the bed and told her that she had to listen because it was important.
He then proceeded to tell her that he had really bad reflux and chest pains, that his hands were cold and he'd rung Health Direct who'd advised him to go to hospital and get checked out.

Being the unsympathetic wife that she was Glossy told him that it was the gallstones and reflux and that he was fine. She explained to him that the reason his hands were cold was because it was a cold night and then told him he should go to sleep.

Being the worrier that he is Drama Queen insisted on going to the hospital. Glossy really didn't want to wake up her sleeping baby, so they had to decided how Drama Queen was going to get to hospital. He didn't feel that he could drive himself so called his brother who was too busy drinking to help out. 
Finally they called a friend who kindly got out of bed and came over to take Drama Queen to hospital.

Glossy stayed at home with her sleeping baby. Drama Queen spent five hours at the hospital and unsurprisingly was told that he had reflux and a panic attack. After being poked, prodded and having a lot of blood tests he came home. 

Whilst Drama Queen was at the hospital it occurred to Glossy that perhaps she should take him more seriously as there could actually be something wrong with Drama Queen. She also realised that she should be a little more sympathetic to Drama Queen as having panic attacks wouldn't be very much fun, even if they were self inflicted. 

So the result of this dramatic night was two very tired people as neither Drama Queen or Glossy got much sleep. The good thing was that thinking he was having a heart attack scared the living daylights out of Drama Queen so he went straight to the Dr the next day and arranged blood tests, medication and everything else that he should have done two years ago.

And that was our night last night. Oops, I mean that's the end of the story girls and boys.


  1. OMG! Men seriously! Love your story, glad everyone's ok and now I need to go and lie down, that was exhausting lol

  2. This was the first post of yours that I ever read. I laughed so hard and didn't even hesitate to click the follow button. Once doing that I then moved on to actually look at the rest of your blog, and realised it was just as wonderful. Thankyou for making my day!

  3. Hahaha talk about role reversal. Interesting story, and I had a good laugh as it happens to me too, sometimes :)

  4. ahh my hub is somewhat the same, goes to dr, has high BP told to exercise/eat right or go on meds, doesn't do any of it, continues to be a slob despite nagging from me to eat right/exercise, headed for a heart attack one day *blah* honestly they don't deserve our sympathy when they act like big babies and don't look after themselves!


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