Thursday, 6 October 2011

I just couldn't keep my mouth shut

I don't normally bother making comments on people's opinions that are reported by the media, however this time I just can't help myself. Barry Walters, a Dr who works at KEMH in Perth has said that it's selfish of women to wait until they are in their late 30's to have babies. He's also said that when the child is in it's 20's the parents will be geriatrics. Clearly I can't keep my mouth shut when I hear something like that.

I've just had my first child. I was 3 months off my 38th birthday when I had him. My decision not to have children earlier wasn't selfish, it was due to my circumstances. In an ideal world I would have loved to have my first child in my late 20's or early 30s, however that didn't happen.

One of the reasons is that I was single. Now maybe I'm crazy, but I thought it'd be a great idea to be in a secure relationship before I had a child. Sure, I could have gone out and had a one night stand and got pregnant, butthat was not what I wanted for myself and my child. So having a child before I met hubby wasn't an option for me.

Hubby and I have been together for 5 1/2 years now, so why didn't we have children earlier? I would have loved to, however circumstances didn't allow. A year after hubby and I got together I got crohn's disease. I was very sick for around three years. I did get pregnant during that time but had a miscarriage as my body wasn't healthy enough to sustain a pregnancy. When I told my GP I was pregnant, his first words were "Oh no". That's not what you want your GP to say when you tell him you're pregnant. At the time I was still on immuno suppresants which weren't safe to take during pregnancy. If I hadn't miscarried I don't think I would have had a healthy baby as I wasn't healthy myself. 

It wasn't until recently that I became healthy enough to sustain a pregnancy. That wasn't my fault and was not something that I could control, but according to Dr Walters it is selfish of me to have waited until I was healthy enough to have a baby. Would he rather that I got pregnant and had an unhealthy baby? Would that be less selfish?

In an ideal world we'd all meet our perfect partner in our 20's, get our career sorted, be financially secure and healthy and ready to have children in our late 20's or early 30's, but life just doesn't work like that. In my opinion it's better to bring a child into the world when you are ready and in the circumstances that suit you. 

If you're ready when you are in your 20's then that's great. But if you aren't ready until you're in your late 30's then that's okay too. As long as the child is loved I sure it won't care how old it's parents are.

And as for people being geriatrics at 60, that's just stupid!


  1. In an idea world, women would conceive and bear children in their late teens. THATS the prime fertility/health age. Sadly we aren't in the middle ages anymore and that's not going to fly.

    I do understand where said Doctor is coming from, but it was silly of him to say so and naive not to factor in the environmental, political, and social reasons behind having a baby. No one EVER has a baby later just because. There's always reasons.

  2. You don't need to justify your decisions for some loudmouth douche who's just trying to get attention for his own agenda.

    Or for anyone else.

  3. Good on you! Who cares what that "geriatric" doctor says... In my opinion I think he has "mother issues".

    As a woman in her early 20's, I can't even begin to fathom having a family. I'm barely grown up as it is and I could not even begin to think of having babies in the next 5 years!! I want my children to grow up in a stable family environment with happy, content parents.

    You are so blessed to have your health, a healthy bub, and an amazing daddy.

    Diversity is the spice of life. Keep being your fabulous self and voice those opinions xox I'm so proud of you!

  4. I was pregnant at 17 and didn't know what I was getting myself into. If I could turn back time, I would've waited till I at least had a secure relationship! I don't think someone who puts off having kids till much later is selfish in the slightest. If anything, they really are thinking what's best for their child... Now that's something to admire! Good on you :)

  5. I'm of the opinion that douchey old men should never be allowed to tell women what they should and shouldn't do with their bodies.

  6. No uterus, no opinions. That's what I always say.

    If a woman isn't emotionally ready, financially ready, etc etc, she shouldn't have a child, whether she's in her 20s, 30s, 40s, to however late you can have a child. That doctor has no business in making women in their 30s feel guilty for only having a baby then.

    I'm in my 30s. I do want to start a family soon. That's because I'm now ready to have one. I wasn't in my 20s.

    Again, no uterus, no opinion.

  7. I'm with you! I was 31 (alomost 32) when I had my bub and so many people I know thought that was late enough in life. I was in a relationship which lasted for 8 years from when I was 18 which ended not so nicely and I am forever grateful that a baby didn't eventuate from that relationship. It wasn't until I met my now husband that I felt it was right to bring a baby into the world. Who cares what anyone else thinks? As long as you feel it's the right time for yourself and care for that child the best you can it shouldn't matter how old you are!

  8. I hear you. My parents had my brother (who is now 25) at 32 and me at 34 (I'm 23) - they are hardly geriatrics now. They both still work and play sport etc etc etc, I haven't missed out on ANYTHING.

    That guy is an (expletive) - I saw it on the news as well - it made me so angry.

    That said, there is also nothing wrong with having children in your early 20's either - if your circumstances allow then so be it. Who are they to judge others when they are not in their position?!

  9. I hate people who say this! His comments are narrow minded, ignorant and of a one size fits all nature. my mother was in her mid thirties when she had me, and late thirties when she had my little sister. I was never conscious of her being older, or of my dad being older. They were as active as any other parent. What does this man think, that women go out to pasture past a certain age??


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